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Kel Varnsen

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  1. Son, I've jacked off to more porn on the internet than there's salt in the ocean. I'm saying that if I gotta watch a show with my wife, at least it has some attractive women in them.
  2. Why I tolerated my wife watching it...
  3. I wonder what Jared's business card looks like
  4. Wouldn't be surprised if he paid someone to do it. Notice the professional photographer catching the moment.
  5. Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word 'manure.' You know, it's, it's 'newer,' which is good. And a 'ma' in front of it. MA-NURE. When you consider the other choices, 'manure' is actually pretty refreshing.
  6. I've had PTerry's regular ground chicken burger and it's tasty. I imagine breading it and deep frying will take it to 11.
  7. He apparently was a kind and humble man in real life.
  8. I've got good news and bad news, and they're both the same: you're fired.
  9. He was also so good on King of Queens. He wanted to apply to UT so there's that.
  10. Especially since you had House/Senate 1st 2 years
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