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Rimbo

Burnt Ends
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Posts posted by Rimbo

  1. 40 minutes ago, Born to Run said:
    4 hours ago, Rimbo said:
    Aren't you also in America's Finest City too? You can totally be freeloading the NYT just like I am.
    (And the LA Times, tho why anyone would read THAT rag is beyond me.)

    San Dimas?

    strange-afoot.gif

    • Prepare your anus 1
  2. 4 minutes ago, Mole said:

    A band nerd dirty joke:
     

    A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?"

    "Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all."

    The next night she went out with a tuba player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"

    "Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery, blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!"

    The next night she went out with a French horn player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"

    "Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I loved the way he held me!"

    You know how you know when you're kissing a French Horn player?

    He sticks his hand up your ass.

    • Haha 2
  3. 22 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

    I need to know your location so I can get the local GOP to have NYT removed from your library. 

    Aren't you also in America's Finest City too? You can totally be freeloading the NYT just like I am.

    (And the LA Times, tho why anyone would read THAT rag is beyond me.)

  4. 6 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

    I have a very close female friend who was a super hot young thing - she grew up in bumfuck Mississippi where they had party lines.   She told me that she and her friends developed a literal codebook of words that meant different things - so they could talk about getting together on the party line with all the busy bodies listening to every word.  One of them tattled to her mother, who responded, “Why are you listening to my daughter’s conversation?”  

    I can’t even imagine having to endure that.

    626b0438-67c6-460b-a0d7-78af202052ae_tex

     

    • Hook 'Em 1
    • Like 1
  5. by the way, if any of y'all have a library card, check if you can get a free subscription to nytimes.com through it

    I'm able to read the Times via my library so I don't have to give those anti-Biden tankies any of my money

    • Hook 'Em 1
    • Like 2
  6. 1 minute ago, YGIFS said:

    And Helobius' favorite switch-hitting, both teams Yankee from their 2009 World Series Championship team?  You guessed it?  Literally the 'Catcher', Kevin Cash-to-Cash, Cash-to-Cash, Cash-to-Cash.  

    I'm gonna go google Jennifer and be in my bunk.  

    i can also fap to the Cash twins running all over OUs defense

    • Hook 'Em 1
    • Haha 1
  7. 1 hour ago, Aqua Buddha said:

    I would not get serious with a woman with a low body count unless she had a LONG stretch of a long term relationship.  If she's 35 or something, never been married, and been with like 3 people, hard pass.  

    I've done both. Both have advantages. There's no real disadvantages to either. You get laid either way.

  8. 7 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

    Don't know when you were in middle school, but I think there's a lot more gender fluidity these days, so she may just have a crush, but may not be an actual lesbian.  

    Either way, who cares, as long as she's happy. 

    when I was in middle school/high school, this was a popular album

    Poison-Look-What-the-Cat-Dragged-In.jpg

    it's not the fluidity/sexuality thing so much, it's the EVERYTHING about middle school

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1
  9. 1 hour ago, rage-a-holic said:

    I absolutely will never miss trying to call a girl and not being able to get through because her dumbshit fugly band nerd stepsister is on the phone for 6 hours talking band nerd shit with her fugly band nerd buddies. Stepfather thought call waiting was a luxury they didn't need.

    Once we started dating, she told her mom that if her stepsister was gonna hog the phone all fucking day, she was just gonna spend all her free time with me.

    They somehow found the money for a 2nd phone line after we had been dating for a few months....in exchange for her spending as little time with me as possible.

    now me, I'd go for the band nerd stepsister.

    1. band chicks, especially low brass, are the best kissers

    2. a nonzero chance that, two decades later, she's written a diss track about you and performed it

    what's not to love?

  10. 26 minutes ago, 'stache said:

    She's 12 for crying out loud, we're just making sure to not try and persuade her one way or another. 

    By the time I was 12, and I was a late bloomer, I knew.

    She knows, but middle school sucks enough if you're "normal."

  11. 35 minutes ago, Aqua Buddha said:

    Reading some of these stories makes me more thankful for how my teenage and college years played out.  I was a somewhat dorky HS kid in the 90's but my GF was kinda nerdy but DTF.  I literally had more sex than anyone in town but it was with one girl.  Wasn't with #2 until college.  As a result, I had a lot of sexual confidence both before and during.  As I got older and less dorky, it just becomes free and easy so I could never understand why all these dudes couldn't get laid.  It was confidence, or lack thereof.

    Also, Team Pussy Hound here.  Didn't know there was a difference between horn dog and pussy hound but OK.

    I'm also a big fan of sleeping around when you're younger.  You find what you like, what you don't like, what you can't live without, etc.  Same applies to women.  (Why wouldn't it?)  It's why I never understood the hang ups with body count.  You could easily sleep with 35 people by the time you're 30.  Just average 3 per year from 18-30 and there you go.  It's really not that many.

    Shit, if your girl has a high body count, and then insists you're the best she's ever had... that just means she knows what she's talking about. And that goes in the other direction: Because of her high body count, she knew what to do with me.

    High body count is a plus. Virgins also a plus. Everything in between? Plus. *just like getting laid ok

    • Hook 'Em 1
  12. 4 hours ago, Aqua Buddha said:

    Slumpbusters.

    Also depends what time it is at the bar.  She's a 2 at 10 and a 10 at 2.

     

    Also, personality can override looks. In both directions. For both sexes.

     

    2 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

    This is describes my evolution from HS to college fairly well.  I guess I'm distinguishing between the guys who wear their horniness on their sleeve and the ones who don't.  I think internally nearly every teenage boy is a horn dog.  Some of them advertise it more blatantly than others.

     

    I was one of those more blatant advertisers. What didn't occur to me until later was (1) that other guys might have been faking it to hide their real sexuality and (2) that other guys probably thought that I was faking it to hide my true sexuality.

    I mean, it's high school. Who fuckin cares? I talk to literally two other people from my high school. Both of them post as much as I do on Surly.

  13. 1 hour ago, TheRealRonWeaver? said:


    4 cylinder.

    I've never heard of a 4 cylinder Camaro.

    I did test drive a 4 cylinder Mustang back in 1991, though. It was exactly as pathetic as you'd think it was.

  14. Just now, 956 Worldwide said:

    We talked about this up thread. I’ve noticed it too, but it’s not a gender thing. The male students are also not in great shape. And I absolutely remember going back to campuses in my late 20s and 30s and thinking “wow, all the people are so attractive.”  This is something that has changed. 

    Unfit, lots of weed, SSRIs, and a shit diet is the norm. Not good for the sex drive. 

    I wonder how much of the online lifestyle is connected not so much to "social media bad" but simply that everyone is sitting on their asses now.

  15. i mean does a male t-rex even have a dick

    apparently birds don't... so probably not

    so t-rex didn't wank because t-rex couldn't reach and didn't even have a dick

    Just now, DixonHur said:

    In my mid-20's I met a Dermatologist at the gym who had, shall we say, a kink (not kink shaming) where he liked to watch other guys have sex with chicks in front of him.   For a couple of years, he would pay me to have sex with girls at his house while he watched.

    These chicks were hot too, so not sure how he convinced them, but I also didn't care at the time.  

    nice work if you can get it

  16. i also wonder

    when I took my kid to college, I was astonished how butt ass ugly most of the coeds were... potato-shaped fatass bodies with no tits and saggy ass. I expect that among people MY age, but 18-22 year olds? WTF

    so maybe that's it, girls are just uglier this generation

    • Hook 'Em 2
  17. 8 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

    This reminds me of a friend back in the day who claimed he didn't masturbate because "T-Rex needs to hunt"...dubious claim on the masturbation front, but maybe that's it...pussy is too easy to get now.

    t-rex can't reach

    those little baby arms

    otherwise t-rex would be fappin like mad

    unless t-rex didn't have enough sex drive... hey maybe THAT'S why the dinos died out?

    • Haha 2
  18. 12 minutes ago, F250 said:

    Yeah, I figured like myself most guys were driven by a biological imperative. This was a weird take.

    I did, too, but at a pretty early stage, I realized that most guys were NOT as libidinous as I was.

    Slowed down a lot with age, to where I'm able to actually think with something other than my dick from time to time.

    • Hook 'Em 2
  19. 5 minutes ago, DixonHur said:

    You younguns, we had to wade through 6 inches of bush to attain pussy...you guys have it served up on a clean platter and still don't want it.  You don't know how good you have it...I haven't had a pube in my teeth since the 90's, and it's glorious.

    you say that like these are BAD things

    maybe is BECAUSE all the pussy is shaved, that's why they lost their drive. Ever think about that?

  20. 9 minutes ago, seven said:

    Without judgment, a lot of you sound like old guys trying to prove how manly you are (were) because back in your day getting pussy was the most important measure. I'm an old millenial but I can somewhat identify with some gen-z characteristics, one of those is giving less of a shit about proving your manhood. I never really understood the crawl over glass obsession with sex. Yeah, it's a fun time but it seems older generations seem to put a lot more emphasis on it.

    Well, that wasn't true for me. I wanted to get pussy because I was horny as fuck.

    • Hook 'Em 5
    • Like 1
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