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smuggs

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by smuggs

  1. 1 hour ago, wildcat09 said:

     

    My backyard has looked similar after a 4th of July banger.

    "I'll take 'Missile-Proof Red Hatchbacks' for $400, Alex."

     

  2. Shortly after the birth of our first daughter, my wife's friend and her husband from Colorado flew in to visit us and "see the baby". My wife and I were in zombie-mode, getting zero sleep while taking shifts with an infant all night. That didn't stop our guests from spending the whole weekend on our back deck boozing, smoking weed and rolling out of bed at 11am. At one point during the visit, homeboy spots a daddy long legs on our porch and promptly lets us know that daddy long legs are the most venomous spider on the planet but alas - their fangs are too small to inject that ultra deadly venom. I told him that was the dumbest old wives' tale in existence, not to mention the particular creature we were observing was not even a true spider. He put up a half-assed stoner argument but obviously couldn't produce any specific details to prove his point.

    Anyway - the night before they were to fly home a breaking NBC News alert pops up on TV, and then President Obama tells us that Osama Bin Laden is dead. Before Obama even continued on with his next sentence, both Cheech and Chong immediately start in with "Lol, what a load of bullshit. He's a liar. No fucking way Bin Laden is dead." I couldn't believe the speed at which these two imbeciles heard that first statement, processed and then straight-faced determined it to be some kind of grand hoax. I asked them if they were serious, to be sure, and they said yes. So I said, "that's even dumber than the world's most venomous spider bullshit."

    They wound up getting divorced a few years later so that was the last time I ever saw the husband. I've only seen her friend a handful of times since and she doesn't really talk to me beyond pleasantries. And as far as I know Osama Bin Laden hasn't been spotted grabbing Starbucks anywhere.

    • Hook 'Em 4
    • Haha 3
  3. 8 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

    You believe that evil can be redeemed.
    I do not.
    One of us is right, one of us is wrong.
    ... Because humans are shit.

    Ok I can work with this.

  4. 3 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

    Viking is more apt a description of a profession than of ethnic people. They were seafaring raiders, which is common trait of a *subset* of the population of now-Denmark, Sweden, Norway.

    I thought they were a football team from Minneapolis.

    • Haha 2
  5. We didn’t get cable in hour house until 1989 so besides consuming hours of MTV while staying at friends houses, my main source of music videos throughout the 80’s was via Friday Night Videos.

     

    image.gif.67b3cbbd430005fcb7d680542d627412.gif

    • Hook 'Em 3
    • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
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