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Longhornfan1024

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by Longhornfan1024

  1. 13 hours ago, Spaulding Smails said:

    A buddy of mine owns a painting company.  He has a group of Hondurans that are damn good painters.  Basically, his whole crew is a bunch of brothers and cousins.  They were repainting the exterior of a house in Pemberton Heights.  Nice house.  Big house.  Lots of wood siding with tons of sanding.  Homeowners are gone to work and his guys are working away outside.  I guess one of them had to shit and couldn't hold it, so he bowed up in the corner of the backyard, then went back to work.  The family dog proceeds to come out through the dog door while half the guys are in the front and the other half are up on ladders.  The dog is nosing around in the backyard, then decides to take a nice roll in some fresh Honduran man-shit.  The lead guy is up on a ladder and sees the events unfolding.  He hurries down just as the dog re-enter the house through the dog door.  Too late.  Doors are locked.  Dog door is too small to squeeze through.  They watch through the window as the dog decides to continue his rolling escapade on the rug.  And the furniture.  And rub against the curtains.  Shit everywhere.  

    They call my buddy, he thinks it's a joke and soon realizes they aren't fucking around.  There's a dog going hog-wild in the house rubbing human feces all over the furniture.  He had no other choice than to bite the bullet and call the homeowner, have the entire house steam cleaned and knock half off the paint job and beg them not to trash him on social media.

    As a contractor, that's why I include "sanitation services" as a line item for every single project that lasts longer than a day.  $120 for a month's rental on a shitter is good insurance for not cleaning party mud off of Suzie Q Homeowner's sofa.

    He should have just blamed it on the dog.

    • Like 3
    • Haha 1
    • Fuck You 1
  2. 13 minutes ago, MoJames said:

    Lots of movement to happen. Latest rumors

    Michy loan to Valencia
    Tammy to stay
    Piazon might stay or AC Milan loan
    Baka AC Milan loan
    Kalas loan Mbrough
    Zouma being considered by Everton and Manure
    Drinkwater might be headed back to LCFC
    RLC, Ampadu and CHO latest are they stick with the squad.

    Oh and Green is player of the year already.

    I want to see what Michy can do in Sarri's system before he gets shipped out.  Unfortunately, that can't happen.  

    If Tammy stays, I hope he gets some good time in EFL and against easier EPL opponents.  Otherwise, it's a waste of a year where he really needs some time on the pitch.

    I have no idea what to think about Zouma.  Others, I'm fine with.  

  3. 16 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

    He could have used his power to convert all USB connectors to USB-C and solved us all a lot of trouble.

    Or just make sure we all put them in correctly the first try and not the third try.  

  4. 10 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

    i have no idea what the hell you just typed. yes theres a major difference between food allergies/people with celiac disease and those who say theyre gluten free to say theyre gluten free. if you had any ounce of a clue of what you are even adding to this conversation, you would see why im calling some of you dipshits. 

    It's ironic that you're calling us dipshits when you're the one who took seriously a post that involved smearing peanut butter on an infant's face.  

  5. 8 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

    Im sure most peanut allergic kids will be able to beat up your make believe kid any day.

    You seem real mad and are mean and now my feelings are hurt.  I think I'll go eat some peanut butter to make myself feel better.

    • Like 2
  6. 16 hours ago, phdhorn said:

    Uh, you're the stupid one if you think that's how the news is supposed to work.  A story needs to be vetted before being reported as true. The Odessa station reported it but the news outlets were in such a fucking rush to get this out that they didn't research it and reported it as fact.

    If some mom alleged you diddled her kid, you think the news "just reporting what the kid alleged" is excusable?  Great, fucking good luck then, mister.

    They fucked up, period.  Although in one small sentence in the story the word "alleged: was used, the narrative proceeds clearly as if it happened, and no indication offered that this was left to be determined.  It was a fait accompli.  That's not how "journalism" works, but your error in part is understandable, for today very, very few media outlets practice "journalism."

    Nevertheless, your take on this is completely lameass, but at least you have a good run of fiction going.  You obviously demonstrate little capacity to determine relative stupidity.

    It's fake news.  But defend it anyway.  LOL!tiv

    From Fox News:

    "A young restaurant server in Texas says . . . ."

    "According to . . . Cavil . . . ."

    From WaPo:

    "The customers apparently . . . ."

    "Cavil . . . said . . . ."

    If reading comprehension isn't your thing, that's okay I guess.  But both articles only report what was alleged by the server and are clear that they are the server's statements/allegations.  They do not report the story as having been confirmed.  Your inability to understand that nuance is on you and does not make them fake news.  

    By your standard, any time a news outlet reports any allegations that ultimately end up to be untrue or unconfirmed qualify as fake news.  That is just plain stupid.  

  7. So orca of peace's assertion is that if someone shoots at me and misses, I shouldn't care because I wasn't hurt and the cops shouldn't care or arrest the person because I wasn't hurt.  

  8. 2 hours ago, phdhorn said:

    lol

    Ahh, nothing like the smell of fake news in the morning.

    You have a phd; don't be so stupid.  The news reported what the kid alleged.  That's accurate, not fake.  The kid just ended up being a liar, which is ironic since it's Fox News in the OP's link.  

  9. Normally I follow the "don't start no shit, won't be no shit" philosophy, but viewing the video, (1) the shooter would have appeared to the victim to be harassing and possibly assaulting his wife and (2) when he pulled his gun he could have told the guy to back off instead of just shooting him.  The shooter seems to be a pussy just looking to start something and be the big man who gets to kill someone and he should be in jail.  

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