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After irth

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Posts posted by After irth

  1. 6 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
    20 hours ago, After irth said:
    The original version wasn’t really live. Studio trickery in an attempt to make it sound more interesting. 

    Yea it's just horrible editing to a great song...then you dont hear any audience in the rest of it. Wtf were they thinking back then

    It was the 70s, man...

  2. 10 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

    you tell me.  texts

    her:  She (her friend) sent me this picture from the Dallas airport.

    me:  Is she flying to Austin?  (new property in Austin that just opened that they've both spent time in recently)

    her:  Not sure

    me:  Why is she in Dallas then.

    her:  Is it far?

    me:  what are we actually talking about

    her:  I just showed you the picture she sent and you ended up with directions

    me:  because you sent me a photo from the Dallas airport

    her:  and?

    me:  Is she there?

    her:  I guess she flew from Dallas to Austin

     

    Um...what?

  3. 47 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

    The first 10-15 seconds to benny and the jets. Elton is playing  the piano, we all know what song it is, but it still takes the audience to start clapping up right until he starts to sing the song.WTF? start clapping right away after the first piano note.

    The original version wasn’t really live. Studio trickery in an attempt to make it sound more interesting. 

  4. 49 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

    I smelled a distinctly unpleasant artificial fragrance while sitting in my office this morning. I can't even really describe it, other than cloying and artificial and terrible. Like someone sprayed Pine-Sol on a Yankee Candle and then rolled the resulting mess in Axe taint spray or something.

    I have a really acute sense of smell, and it's a fucking curse. I'd rather run the risk of not noticing that my house is on fire than be subjected to the odors I have to smell on a daily basis. I can tell when a woman has her period, for Christ's sake. 

    Anyway, at first I just assumed that it was some shitty perfume that one of the secretaries was wearing and that the stench must have wafted through my door after she walked by, so I paid it no mind. 

    An hour or two goes by, and the smell starts getting a little more overpowering.  A bit more time goes by, and I'm starting to get a mild headache. 

    Finally, it gets so annoying that I went out and asked my admin if she smelled anything. Nope. Neither did the guy in the adjacent office, and the lady on the other side of me is out on maternity leave. 

    I sit and I stew for a while, and finally I get up and start walking around the office, hoping to suss out the culprit like I'm Pepe Le Pew following a scent trail, except without the creepy skunk boner. 

    Nothing doing. I can't isolate it to any particular area. Coworkers helpfully offer that perhaps I'm finally stroking out. 

    I sit back at my desk and prepare to write a Strongly Worded Note to the office cleaning staff, asking them to please kindly refrain from using whatever new product they introduced to their routine last night. 

    And that's when it hit me.

    I opened up a new tube of deodorant this morning, and while I thought it was my familiar flavor, I have only been using this current variety for short time (something that allegedly won't stain your clothes...), and I now realize that my wife probably bought me some other scent that has the same general packaging as my prior tube. 

    So once I get home tonight, I have to compare the old tube in the garbage with the new tube in my closet, but I already know what I'm going to discover... 

    You’re a delicate little flower. 

  5. In SW Florida, 7-11 is the only decent cup of coffee around when I’m out and about and (most of) the (many) stores are nice and seemingly well-run, despite the landscape-crew rush hours. Beats the shit out of WaWa. Yankee fuckers love that shit here. 

    Coming back home to TX in a month. Moving to Lufkin. I fear there will be some changes. 

  6. 9 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

    I should preface my picks by saying I like my sitcoms like I like my rock- classic.  I’m probably missing someone obvious, but that said, in descending order:

    Archie Bunker

    Lucy Ricardo

    Maxwell Smart

    Michael Scott

    Fred Sanford 

    and the GOAT...

     

      Hide contents

    Barney Fife

     

    A surprising modern pick thrown in amongst the old classics.  Well done, sir.

  7. 5 hours ago, blacklab said:

    wife: when is the first UT game?

    me: first home game is in 2 weeks, game next week is away at Maryland.

    wife: when is the first home game?

    me: two weeks.

    wife: they play away next week?

    me: yes

    wife: where?

    me: Maryland

    That’s a winner right there...

    Such an excellent womanly example of listening in action. 

  8. 1 hour ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

    I'm having ETL right now, at my house. 

    Same here. Kinda makes me hope that joint ran out about 5 minutes before he got there. Is that wrong?

  9. 10 hours ago, LonghornGoodfella said:

    True that but hopefully most peeps over 30 who have been around the block know better and go the savory route at 4 am drunk in the french quarter and not the huge pile of sugar that will make you feel oh so good the next day with all that alcohol in your belly. 

    Those hot dog carts come in handy sometimes...

  10. 16 hours ago, DougO said:

    A buddy of mine recently confessed that he took a shit in a car wash in the middle of town not long ago. He drives a delivery truck all day and gets bouts of IBS. He had to go, pulled into a carwash stall and just squatted behind his truck door and let go. I didn't ask him if he put a few quarters in the clean up after himself or not. I was too busy laughing. He says he shits on roadsides on a pretty regular basis.

    Management material!

  11. 23 hours ago, CurlyDumps said:

    Secret Window was on cable yesterday.  Johnny Depp plays a writer named Mort.  I doubt Steven King was picturing one of Teen People's hottest guys alive when he wrote the character.

    Yes,  but...could you still fap to it?

  12. Sounds like most of your week off will be spent in the car...

    After Labor Day, just stick with the Holiday Inn Sunspree off Whitecap on North Padre. They will keep the beach clean regardless of conditions. Amemities like chairs, umbrellas, etc. readily available and you can maximize your chill time on the beach before climbing back in the car. 

  13. On 8/16/2018 at 8:52 PM, JoseMedinaDeJesus said:

     

     I have to go into walmart here, occasionally.  It's for a worthy product, Whataburger spicy.  You should see the look of confusion when I give these people green chili meatloaf with whataburger spicy on it.

    Pretty classy cooking for prison. I always had a hard time keeping the toilet lit. 

  14. Tommy Lee Jones was shitfaced one night and wouldn’t leave my best buddies little sis alone at a San Antonio Country Club event. Had to restrain my buddy from kicking some old man ass. 

  15. 22 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

    Have a neighbor who lives a mile down the road.  An acquaintance, if you will.  I delivered 5-6 tons of horse manure to his house the other day, and he asked if I would mind bringing my tractor down to help him move it around (he's using it as mulch along a border tree line).  

    N - How much you want?

    Me - $10 should cover it.  Shouldn't take me too long.

    N - Nah.  I want it to be worth it for your time.  How about $30?

    Me - Tell you what, I have an empty 6 gallon can of diesel that you can just fill up for me (this should be $18)

    N - I'll just drop $20 off to you tomorrow.  That should do it.  Thanks, man!

    ------

    (Today)

    N - Hey, I put that money in the passenger seat of your car.

    Me - Roger.  Thanks.

    ... I go out and get the money after a bit... $10.

     

    $10 is completely fine with me.  It's the fact that HE said he would give me $20, then reneged.  Bush league shit right there. 

    Livin’ the dream!

    • Like 2
  16. 8 hours ago, Spoosner said:

    Typical intro, my wife is usually super smart, yada yada yada.  This is long and there are some things I plan do differently, but the details of her thought process are what bottle my mind.

    My wife flew solo with our 5 month old for the first time Wednesday morning.  Flight was out of DFW pretty early in the morning (had to leave house by 7:15 AM), so definitely had to do all packing prior to Wednesday.  Also important to note, I have to leave the house at 7 AM for a work trip out of Love.

    The weekend before: I take son away from the house multiple times for way longer than necessary, and make subtle suggestions that she could use the alone time to start getting ready for the trip.  She did seem to make some headway on some laundry she would need for the trip, but for the most part I came home to her either watching Netflix or napping on the couch.  No big deal.  She watches the kid all week and deserves to do whatever she wants with her small amount of down time.

    Sunday evening her Mom arrives to help watch little Spoos Monday and Tuesday.  Monday arrives and I chat with wife about her plans for the day before I head to work.  She "needs" to go shopping for a new pair of jeans, and then start packing.  They left the house around Noon (as near as I could tell from various texts).  I have to work a little late, so it's about 7:30 PM when get home...to an empty house.  Apparently they just have one more stop at Container Store so she can buy some packing pouch things she "needs" to organize all of little Spoos' shit.  They get back around 8:30 PM, bedtime activities ensue, and needless to say there is zero prep for the trip.  She did get her jeans and travel pouch things, so perhaps that counts as progress?  I have zero clue or interest in how or why that took 8+ hours.

    Tuesday - her Mom has to leave around Noon to drive back to Houston.  Perhaps pack while you've got somebody to watch the little guy?  Pshhh, don't be silly.  She decides she needs a new suitcase because the ones we are have are either too big or too small.  I come home Tuesday evening and see that packing progress is limited to a new empty suitcase laying open in the living room.

    We will both be out of town for a week and have a bunch to do, so we agree to just eat what's in the fridge and avoid making a mess.  I eat some leftover chicken and veggies directly out of the throw away tupperware thing it's stored in.  There is plenty for 2, so I offer to her, but she says she'll make something else.  I throw away the container and remaining leftovers, leaving the fork I used as the only dirty item to clean.  I decide the most helpful thing I can do is take care of the child and try to organize some of his stuff upstairs.  It's about 7 PM at this point.  I start binging all the stuff I know little Spoos needs, burp cloths, diapers, wipes, etc, down to the still empty suitcase.  (Zero chance I'm wasting time picking out his clothes because she's showing him off to all her friends and undoubtedly has 2 perfect outfits a day already picked out in her mind).  I check on her in the kitchen.  She has 2 pots and a frying pan on the stove, and is chopping up all sorts of zucchini, tomatoes, basil, etc. that she "doesn't want to go to waste". 

    I see one pot of boiling water...

    Me: What's the boiling water for?

    Her: I'm going to boil some peaches.

    Me: I've never seen her boil a peach in our 8 year relationship. Boil some peaches?  Why?

    Her: So I can peel them.

    Me: Umm, are you making a cobbler?

    Her: No, just to eat.

    Me: Walks away before head explodes. It's 2 days later and I'm still so confused by this.

    8:30 comes.  Time for little Spoos' bath and bedtime.  She takes him upstairs around 9 to put him down.  I take status of the kitchen that we specifically talked about our aversion to get messy.  Pots and pan (hand wash), paring and chef's knives (hand wash), veggie and peach massacred on 2 separate overflowing cutting boards, her plate, my fork, and then of course all the normal baby bottle/pump stuff from the day that has to be cleaned for the trip.  My frustration meter steadily climbs as I tackle all this shit.  I make detailed mental notes of all the stupid time wasting bullshit going on so that I can bring them up prior to her/our next trip so that they never happen again (HA!), but bitching about it now will only further delay me getting to bed for my early flight and full day of meetings.

    This is already long enough, but the real packing finally begins around 10 PM.  I laugh when she says she hopes to be in bed by midnight so she can wake up at 6.  I finally go upstairs at 1 AM and pack in 5 minutes for my week long trip that includes San Antonio, the weekend in NYC with them, and then back to San Antonio.  Obviously I could've said sucks for you and gone to bed after I finished the dishes, but I'm not a dick and know she would've been up all night without my help.  She climbs in bed around 1:30 I think.  Little Spoos who has been sleeping through the night for multiple weeks decides he's hungry at 4 AM on this particular night.  So we're both up at 6 going on 2-3 hours of sleep, but I will say she got out the door on time and did thank me for all my help.

    I called her exhausted from my hotel after work yesterday.  She cheerfully says, "You don't sound like you're having as much fun as us."  I simply replied that I was going to bed.  Went to hotel bar, pondered life over a few scotches, and retired to the glorious peace and quiet of my hotel room.

    tl:dr  Women can't prioritize/plan, and are oblivious to how it impacts others around them.

    I can see how your mind is bottled by this. 

  17. 14 hours ago, 52-80 said:

    Lucky bastard.  She insists on going to the store every single goddamn day because we cannot plan dinner ahead.

     

    And by planning ahead I mean she can't agree on what I propose to eat, and obviously won't suggest anything herself.

     

    And by going to the store I mean I drive her to the goddamn store because she refuses to exercise her driver's license.

    Wow...now that just sounds...senseless and useless. Every day...?  Damn. 

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