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I Plead Da Fif

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Posts posted by I Plead Da Fif

  1. CBD definitely works for pain and anxiety, but most people need to take pretty large doses for them to work as an effective pain med. I don't work for this company, but would highly recommend them as they have both full spectrum cannabinoids (small amounts of THC and variants) and THC free CBD oils and other forms of CBD, i.e. isolate powder: https://www.thecbdistillery.com/.

    I usually get the 2500 MG in 30 ML coconut oil CBD oil. It is about 30-40 mg per half dropper which to me is an adequate dose that is the equivalent of a couple ibuprofen/acetaminophen or a low dose of a benzodiazepine (anxiety meds) without the high. I drop it in my mouth and allow it to absorb under the tongue. They also have salves if you're wanting to apply it topically. The company has many deals throughout the year too, i.e. 20% off from time to time, which can be really useful when the dropper bottle runs about $100.

    • Like 2
  2. 13 minutes ago, Harry Ellis said:

    Can't believe he committed to a school that barely beat Georgia.

    Funny that he still has 4 star OT on his Twitter profile when he's a 3 star composite and the 74th rated tackle by the service who has the most accurate ratings.

    • Haha 1
  3. 21 hours ago, LTtxfan said:

    (Eric Nahlin)     Ja'Quinden Jackson     

    Source #2: I know Jeff Blake has worked with him and thinks he has the mind/understanding he's just never been taught much. They should get Blake to work with him. He's only 8-10 miles from campus. He should work with Sam on his deep ball and Roschon on mechanics too.  Interesting thought. Nobody ever threw a better deep ball than Blake. 

     

    Here's a QB coach I'd like a session with... 😀

    giphy.gif

     

    Narrow hips, mid 4  at best

  4. 9 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

    Maybe you consider deep pockets to be gainfully employed?

    Chewbacca my girlfiend’s and I’s combined household income is about 9 times the poverty line and I can confidently say that Denver is a shithole in comparison to Austin. The housing market is absolutely atrocious for what you get and where. Period.

     

    There is more white trash (I’m white) in a major city than I’ve ever seen. Justin belongs here. Hipsters >>>> Whiskey Tango.

     

     

  5. On 5/21/2019 at 11:42 AM, GotThatFire said:

    Denver is a shithole unless you have deep pockets 

    I agree with this. The housing market absolutely blows for the money. It would cost 700K to get something nice in Castle Rock that’s way further away than the same house going for 380-400 in Cedar  Park / Round Rock. 

  6. 3 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

    Padrinos are family members or even close friends who sponsor something. So someone will sponsor your cake, or her dress, or the bar, etc. That's all stuff you don't have to pay for. The flip side is you will then be asked to sponsor stuff for other family members. And not just for weddings, quinceaneras too. If homeboy puts a big rock on her hand, they will probably get asked to sponsor more expensive stuff. There's also the side effect of being married to someone with the Latin temper. 

    I had a prior Latina gf who was actually crazy so this is really really easy relatively speaking. Predictability plays a big part in it. I know I have a day or two of dumbfuckery when she starts her period then she’s very reasonable.

  7. 15 minutes ago, ztejas said:

    So will any decent gaming laptop with windows. 

     

    Why would anyone choose to develop on Windows? I don't understand this. I've always found a unix based system as a barrier of entry for software development ever since I was removing Windows from my laptop and installing Ubuntu at 20. I work for a .NET SAAS company now and they pay for Parallels or VMWare to build the app for our dev team.

  8. 8 hours ago, Dahobbs said:

    He said gaming first. That immediately disqualifies a mac. 

    I know that this is usually a thing, but games run pretty smoothly on my MacBook Pro 2018 with a Radeon Pro 560X with 4GB of RAM. I realize that's a pretty pricey option, but it doubles as a workstation and a gaming laptop right now.

  9. 23 minutes ago, SimonBolivar said:

    Yeah this isn't going to be cheap. I haven't officially proposed yet, but we're in almost the same boat (minus the sugar daddies) and her #1 priority is to make sure that all of her family is NOT there. Her great grandmother had over 100 grandkids and great grankids in Mexico before she died at 103.

    Holy crap dude!! I don’t think we’re going to have more than 100 total present. Most of her family she wants there is already here in Denver, minus grand parents. My side will probably max out around 25. The most heads I’ve seen at her nephews kids birthday party, which is a much bigger deal than I could imagine, had around 50 max.

  10. On 4/28/2019 at 6:41 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:


    And shortly thereafter in the divorce thread where he will bitch about how much he spent on an engagement ring that she hocked to buy her boyfriend something.

    And then bitching about the child support that I'm paying, amirite?

    NMAS, spending ~$8K all in on an engagement ring isn't too much, and if it is, you clearly have the poors, which I'm sure you don't. That's 1 months salary for me after taxes. I can manage. And if it doesn't work out, then X number of years from now I can bitch with all of you jaded people in the threads and never get married again and instead treat women entirely as transactions. For now, I'll just laugh at the thought of you trying to give advice on women given your screen name and the myriad of other posts I've seen you add to the board. Everyone decides to spend their money differently. I don't spend any money at bars anymore, at all. That right there is probably 5K a year. I'll manage.

  11. 1 hour ago, horn4life said:

    See I am looking at it differently from "making concessions" on her behalf.  YOU ARE THE PRIZE, not the ring.  If you are marrying her, she should be excited as fuck.

    It IS a grey area on the ring.  I am focusing more on "value" of ring vs value of you and the relationship. She has certain expectations and so do you.  A larger ring doesn't sound like a huge stretch, but again I look back on ring cost versus you wad saved for the eventual new home.  Clearly she likes nice things. You intimate that she got the vast majority of those nice things from men "throwing money at her."  This is not necessarily a negative, but it does raise red flag in my mind and always has, with ANY woman. Same for any man, but not my perspective and not the usual scenario, though that is changing as women bank more and more. Your combined comments regarding her upscale gifts and a concern of her being "easy pickings" is where I see you wondering out loud about, "Is she too hot for me?" You want to keep her happy and rightfully so, but I am also looking at the health of the relationship and "power" dynamics.  You have the power from the economic perspective, but it sounds like she has the power from the relationship perspective. I'm trying to make sure she truly loves you as much as you clearly love her.  Had you not mentioned high end clothing and her taste for expensive things I still would have asked about house vs ring, but those clues made me want to did deeper. 

    Ultimately I would say buy her a bigger ring than she expects after you "explain things to her" regarding the home downpayment versus the size of the ring.  I would push the cost downward hopefully as a discussion towards a mutual bigger goal of building your life together.  Since you have decent income, I also would very likely get her something slightly larger than she expects in the end. Just for the fun of the surprise. You can always upgrade her rock later, but I am wary of the necessity of a large rock to "make her happy." I truly hope that the large rock is not her focus during the discussions. Normally I would BEG you sincerely to go to some sort of pre-marital counseling before actually tying the knot.  It sounds like your backgrounds are very different, and thus your natural expectations of the day to day working of the relationship may be vastly different.  Stupid shit like who does the bills, do we have joint checking, who does the dishes, shopping, how imortant are kids, how many, guy trips/girl trips, and on and on. Since you are living together a lot of the mundane shit is already apparent and you have adjusted accordingly.  

    No matter if you get her a 2 carat rock or a labgrown less expensive rock, the size of the ring never, ever, ever has determined the viability of the relationship.  Ultimately do what makes YOU happy.  The good news is it sounds like making her happy makes you happy.  Which is EXACTLY as it should be.  But if her focus is more on the biggest rock possible than the biggest down payment possible...  I would get nervous.  You NEED to insert this into your relationship right now.  Sounds crazy I know, but marriage is ANYTHING BUT a nice uphill ascent.  It's the old you have to be cruel to be kind philosphy that is tried and true. The ultimate point is that YOU are the prize.  She is a prize too.  The ring is an object that is simply a marker of commitment.

    I hope I have not freaked you out completely with my focus on the ring's value versus the relationship's value.  But it is a data point that is often the subject of push and pull in the relationship that casts the die for power dynamics for the entirety of the marriage.  Ideally you both want the other to be happy so you BOTH tend to  "sacrifice" for the happiness of the other.  If it's a you can take a boys trip, so I get a girls trip, counting and keeping a ledger, I never see those relationships work out.  I tend to spend most of my time with my wife, simply as we are best friend. In fact the only real hint I have for anyone is marry your friend.  Hell you can fall in "love" over happy hour, with a hot chick. 

    Again I wish you the very best, and the fact you have been living together means you obviously enjoy each other's company on a dialy basis.  Push logically down on the size from a financial persepctive, then buy her something a little bit bigger than that, simply because YOU want to make her happy.  You have also given her certain expectations in ring shopping so expect some disappointment in the discussion on down sizing ring and upsizing down payment.  But it will be fun as hell to surprise her with something slightly larger, after her making the "concession" of a smaller ring to marry the man of her dreams!  

    I probably would not have written such a diatribe if I had not seen so many divorces in the last few years seeing so many folks divorcing after their kids graduated high school. But as I said before, your best chance at marriage HAPPINESS and survival is to be best friends with your lover.

    I think in your psychoanalysis of our relationship you are only getting part of the real picture. I brought up some fears which yielded insecurities, sure, however, I was selling short the reality of my day to day life. I tend to not brag about all the good things going on with a girl that’s way hotter than friend’s wives, because I’m not looking to push every friend of mine away.

    With that said, we are best friends that spend every day together. She’s addicted to hanging out with me. “Everything is more fun with you, etc”. We’re not the same person and that greatly enriches our relationship. We compliment each other extremely well and in the the past 2 years of living together not only have we grown as a couple, but as individuals bettering ourselves. I’ve been in enough long term relationships to know you have to see that so that you can grow together for the rest of your lives. Not only her, but her entire family loves me, and I meet a lot of aunties and uncles, cousins, etc. and I’m a second dad to her 10 year old sister and 15 year old brother. To the point that her parents have told her don’t fuck this up, because of how he treats you (non monetarily, as an equal human being with respect). She stopped drinking entirely because I told her she has a problem (and I did too) from a drinking too much when we drink standpoint, so we stopped together before anything happened in our relationship that we couldn’t take back and grow from.

    i appreciate your perspective, even though I didn’t appreciate your tone at the beginning. If I were to psycho analyze you, it would seem that after 33 years of marriage, maybe you’re not so happy given your natural proclivity (and possible projection of what you wish you did) to be overly aggressive and angry first thing in the morning with comments on a message board where someone is a) putting themselves out there to be vulnerable on a site of assholes and b) looking for an honest variety of opinions. But that’s neither here nor there.

    She knows I’m the prize and tells me that every day, and backs it up with actions. If I don’t think she’s doing enough or the right things to show it, because we show our love in different ways and prefer to receive it in different ways, I tell her and she adjusts to make me happy.

    The size of the ring was first suggested by me, because that’s how much I love her, how much she means to me, and because I can. With that said, I’ve made a variety of decisions in the past that someone who is fiscally mature and financially responsible would not always make, so I have a lot to learn in that department. With that said, she’s been pushing for us to live more and more frugally so that we can have a nicer house and live a more fulfilling live with activities rather than a nicer restaurant on Friday nights and nicer threads for ourselves.

    She wants a Radiant cut, which is cheaper and shows even larger than its carat weight, and is forgiving of inclusions (read lower price point). I can get a lab grown 2 carat for 6K and under that will both make her feel incredible and her family will have the wow factor when I get on one knee in front of them at their Christmas party and it won’t ruin us financially going forward, which is what I plan to do.

    I’ve gotten out of this what I had hoped, and honestly what I should have expected from this site. I have cut my target price point in half thanks to the great advice of you fine people. In addition, we won’t be spending much at all on a wedding, because she is happy to have it at a backyard or park, because she wants to save money for a house and really just wants her family there, because ultimately that’s what matters to her most.

  12. 3 hours ago, horn4life said:

    Haha... you think I didn't read your replies? That most of her nice shit she wears is from other guys throwing money at her? That she is thrifty because of her immigrant background, and lack disposable income relative to her taste?  That she will sign a prenup. That having a few kids and endless comingling of funds post marriage will largely numerically nullify your prenup. My personal bet is she never signs a pre-nup, because you never put one in front of her.

    She's the hottest thing you have ever dated and you want to make her happy, she's content with a 2 carat rock because "she's worth it" in her mind. And it looks good on her hand.  You have an issue with how others see you and you want to impress your fiends and family with the ring, as much or more than your degree of nervous about her eye wandering.  You moved and uprooted your life because, she's the hottest thing you ever dated.  Dude she has the upper hand by far and you don't even realize it. 

    My cocktail napkin summary had we had this discussion at a bar would be...  She may be the hottest thing you ever dated, but you are not the hottest thing she ever dated.  Which ironically in my mind sort of answers all the questions you posed initially.

     

     

     

    If I was your analyst I would say-  start telling her exactly how things are going to be. Shrink the fucking ring as a "test" of her love for you, versus the prenup accounting rationalizations for personal "proof."  Simply say you think that having the extra cash for a house is more important, and become a lead dog.  Unfortunately... She's the hottest thing you ever dated, and in the back of your mind you have insecurities here. I would tell you at this particular moment, it's better to play Against what she wants at this point.  Simply put if she happily accepts the smaller ring knowing it is the beginning of a committed life. Excitement with the smaller ring and the purchase of your first home together due to your "explaining it to her" gives in my mind a 30% higher chance of your marriage surviving.  If she really loves you the house will be more important.   I also might surprise her with the larger rock if she didn't whine about the reduced size for house exchange. If she whined about the smaller ring I would consider dumping her. HARSH I know, but her happily accepting the smaller ring compromise would alleviate a LOT of your personal insecurities with her IMHO.  Of course if she whines, your insecurities will be heightened...  and perhaps rightfully so.  I genuinely hope you have a long and happy marriage.  But if the size of the ring is more important than getting into the house and starting your life together?  Then the ring will make a nice drop necklace one day. 

    sorry about the aggressive manner, but it's a forever question

     

    Thanks for the advice. I’ve been looking at closer to the 5K mark and can still get a large lab grown rock at that price point. At what point would you say she’s made enough concessions, aside from just accepting a cheaper ring? I appreciate your perspective. It’s all a grey area.

  13. 57 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

    I don't think that's it though.  You are encouraged to spend as much as you want to express your gratitude, and for your wife to appreciate the gesture.  Be it a stone, or a bit job. 

     

    The thing is, as you said, she doesnt cherish an expensive rock.  Then it has fuck-all value or utility.  Unless you bury under your skin as bail-out money for weapons dealing in Eritrea, diamonds are the most useless shit in the world.

     

    If you want to flex your wallet in a way that she'll remember it, put her in the front cabin on a flight to Siena, book a prime seat to watch the Palio, reserve the chef's table for dining every night, and you still have money left over from the original budget to get yourself a handmade suit.

     

    Or whatever else y'all are into.  Or you could buy a fucking rock of carbon she'll stuff in the dresser or eventually lose.

    Thank you for the perspective. It helps having differing opinions in a non insulting aggressive manner.

  14. 13 minutes ago, horn4life said:

    I guess I will hop in with two things, if the size of the diamond you are buying your love is part of a "keep her faithful" program, you are marrying the wrong fucking woman.  If they love you they love you.  If the size of the ring is a biggie to her then dump her ass.  Off soap box.

    Guys are fucking stupid as shit sometimes in the department of money and women, especially when first dating.  When I was at my peak I never took a girl out to dinner on the first date.  I usually said we were going to dinner, but always ended up at happy hour first.  We might make dinner, but if a girl likes you she doesn't care if you take her to the dollar movie, happy hour, or out for a picnic.  It was a great weeder.  The WORST fucking thing a guy can do is spend a lot of cash trying to impress a woman.  Because if cash is what impresses her, there is ALWAYS some other motherfucker with a fatter wallet, who can make her "more happy" because of her fucked up priorities. Everyone want's what they "percieve they can't have.  Fawning never ever works.

    I guess I might work the math backwards.  Instead of worrying about impressing her (or your friends) with a monetary amount of "month's of salary.'" I would probably ask you, "what percentage of your savings is this purchase?" You state you want to buy a house, get a ring, and have a wedding.  How much do you have in the bank?  How much does she have in the bank? and/or how much are her parent's gonna pop for the wedding?  Sounded like that was on her/you?  Why is the only traditional side of this equation the wedding ring and not the big lavish wedding? Not criticizing here in any way, just stating that there are dollar amounts tied to everything. So what should weigh more?  Getting a home? Ring? Wedding? Again, how much do you have in the bank?

    Trust me on this.  You small wedding in the backyard after you present her with a two carat rock is gonna be a pipe dream.  Spend a LOT more on the party (wedding) than the ring. IF you are on the hook for the home down payment, wedding and ring, allocate accordingly.  If she's the keeper you say she is, I suggest... and I know this is fucking crazy... but talk to her!   There are X amount of dollars to go around, and they have to be allocated.  In fact, this conversation is best had before you slip ANY ring on her finger.  The balance in the conversation is the selflessness EACH OF YOU bring to the table.  What was funny as shit to me when we were getting married 33 years ago was going to group pre-maritial counseling. It was hilarious how little some of these fiances new each other, and their basic expections being near opposites oftentimes on the day to day workings of marriage.  talk to her and prioritize with percentages your home downpayment, ring and wedding.  I would put the house first far, far beyond or others.  I would hope that she would too. 

    You think her not having a big rock makes her "easy pickings?" Try a big rock living in a rental.... I know which one I think is the easier pickings...

     

     

    You clearly didn’t read the whole thread, but I appreciate your stern talking to.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1
  15. 8 hours ago, bluto said:

    Unless you're putting a shit ton of cash down, run the #s on what the actual payments will be to truly calculate housing cost difference. Folks that buy in Tx the first time without rolling their out of state equity into the purchase are shocked by the property taxes' impact on monthly payment. Very rough estimate but it's worth about 125-150k of loan amount. 

    I’m aware. The last year I had my condo I paid >$6000 in property taxes. That’s what I pay a year in state income tax in Colorado. I’m okay with the trade.

  16. On 4/20/2019 at 10:07 PM, ztejas said:

    Where are you moving from? Zurich?

    Good joke, but the reality is the cost of living in Austin, even with home prices relatively speaking much higher than they were, is still one of the lowest cost of living in a desirable city to live in as a software worker. Denver has very little new construction with a lot of people moving here; a 450K house in Circle C would be at least 650-750K here in a comparable location. We’d be limited to 1600 sqft pieces of shit built in the 60’s for houses in the 400’s.

    Besides, I lived in Austin for 22 years before moving to Denver for her 2 years ago. When we want to buy a house and settle down, I’ll be ready to come back home.

     

  17. I may have over cooked the “keep men away part”. It was a stupid take on my part. Shes really happy and excited about our future and agrees that moving to Austin to get a way cheaper house is the way to go.

    We talked and she’s excited about getting a lab grown one instead and putting the rest toward a house down payment. In all I won’t be spending more than 10K. 

    She also informed me about “madrinas” and “padrinos” in Mexican weddings, where basically her uncles and aunts are going to pay for alcohol and her dress. She mentioned spending even 10K on a wedding would be stupid.

    I have a keeper.

    • Like 1
  18. 1 minute ago, ChiTownDoc said:

    The money thing is all in what you make/have.  One person 50k is not another’s.  Also the 2-3 month rule makes sense to some, not to others.  You’ve probably already overthought this but without being in your shoes it’s hard to give great advice.  If you make 100k and really want to, drop 10 imo. 

    I base that on you making 3x what she does.  Assuming she’s not much under 30k.  

    So I guess I'm not totally crazy in my initial thinking of budget for this. I make 130K a year, and 10% of that is right about what I planned on spending.

    I really appreciate everyone's input, including those that have had bad marriages and came to shit on my thread of positivity toward love and marriage. I hear you. To each his own. My parents divorced and re-married, so I waited until I felt like I knew exactly what I wanted and mature enough for myself to feel confident in making a life changing decision like marriage.

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