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Fastbreak

Certifiably Surly
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  1. “Today I am signing a wonderful executive order. Some have said it’s be BEST executive order. This beautiful order makes it LEGAL for a man to have sex with a woman aged 14 or higher, 13 if in international waters or above 10,000 feet in an airplane or a hot air balloon. We all know this is the PERFECT age, just like in the Bible. This order is retroactive from May 17th, 1977, a beautiful sunny day I remember well, looking down on the Trump Tower and Casino from that wonderful hot air balloon. Thank you for your attention to this matter and MAY GOD BLESS AMERICA!”
  2. Bronze is a badass. England wins
  3. Going to penalties
  4. England with big comeback. 2-2 in extras
  5. Black you say?
  6. I might have made a huge mistake. I got invited to a club in north London. They hosted everything and after the round a bunch of members got me drunk on the terrace overlooking 12 and 18. £1600 later and I’m a member. I have no idea how winter golf will work.
  7. As soon as I see a broomstick putter with some weird grip I put them on my list of goobers.
  8. Peacock has the best streams. You can follow individual (popular) groups
  9. Rory has to hit 1 fairway, right?
  10. I got tickets to the games in August against Villarreal and Atletico. Should be sweet. Club level seats were £35. It’s easier if you just buy 1.
  11. Restricted FA. He isn’t going anywhere until 2031 or 32
  12. I’ve just signed an apartment deal within walking distance of Emirates Stadium. So I am officially switching my allegiance to Arsenal. I already have tickets for the friendly with Villarreal on Aug 6th.
  13. Played first time in London today. Went out by myself (didn’t want to wait for the late arrivers). Played 18 in under 3 hours. The course was playing very weird. I hit 3 drives which I saw land on the dead middle of the fairway that kicked somewhere to a lost ball. I can handle losing a ball with a big slice, but mid fairway just sucks. A golf ball with an air tag in it is the next big thing I hadn’t walked 18 in a long time and now I’m paying the price…
  14. Sell your maga hat and gear to make bail bro
  15. They would all be killed and Trump would go on and on about how they were traitors, communists and losers.
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