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ulukinatme

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Everything posted by ulukinatme

  1. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, cause er body guilty of digital blackface up in here.
  2. @Mitch Cumsteen Future purchase for the Mrs? 3rd time's the charm!
  3. So my youngest got this thing as a gift recently. I told him earlier this week I'd put it together for him this weekend since he's too young. I tell everyone not to touch anything until I'm ready (As if this hasn't happened before). I get woken up early Saturday morning to my daughter frantically saying, "Come quick! Mommy needs help!" I throw a shirt on and find her in the garage with one of her fingers jammed inside this hunk of plastic: Wife: "Help! I can't get it off!" I tried to pry it outward, but she says that just makes it hurt more, so I ended up cutting the end so it would loosen better. You can see the bit missing at the bottom. So, she thought she'd be helpful by pushing all the pieces out of the receptacle (There were multiple receptacles), except all those pieces were numbered individually. Some pieces are similar enough that the instructions aren't always clear which piece you need unless you're going strictly off the part number. You can figure it out in the end, but it would have gone faster if the pieces hadn't been removed. Once I freed her finger she decided to throw that junk plastic away, only for me to find that she forgot to knock out two tiny pieces so I spent a half hour looking around through the carpet thinking they rolled down there. I check the trash and sure enough, there they are still on the bracket. So, once that was all taken care of I decided to get to work finally. After an hour or two I've got quite a bit done and carpal tunnel starts bugging me, so I decide to take a break for food. The mechanical pieces are all put together, I'm just getting ready to mess with the hydraulics. She's downstairs there watching TV where I'm working, so I tell her, "Don't touch anything, I'll be back in 30." "Okay." I come back and something is definitely not right. Someone has attached the hoses already to the cylinders, and instead of 3 short hoses for the fingers and 1 long one for the thumb I'm seeing 5 short hoses. "What happened?! Who cut one of the hoses?" "Oh, your son was messing around over there, I don't know." Sure enough my 8 year old fesses up to it, she was sitting right beside him when it happened and didn't say a thing. I threw the damn box across the room. I just ordered replacement tubing off their website.
  4. I stole it from Twitter tbh, but the shoe fits.
  5. How are all three of these guys gone in the span of a year? Norm and Bob were like brothers. Gilbert often worked with Norm in standup and on his podcast. They were all pretty close. Just unreal.
  6. A Texas 3, but a 10 for Ohio.
  7. Photo caption: Last fuckable Ohio girl - 1980.
  8. Why does Ohio lead the list with 5 schools? Well, wait till you see the women...
  9. I don't know about botched, #7 goes hard in the paint.
  10. I'm going to say video games. These are 3 stacks deep to the back of the cabinet and that's not even all of them.
  11. Did you hear the one about Chris Rock looking in the mirror for Fresh Prints?
  12. I would have paid good money to watch Norm host an awards show. We only got glimpses of his excellence via the ESPYs and the White House Correspondence dinner. As brazen as Norm was though, I don't know if he makes the G.I. Jane joke in 2022. Maybe in '97.
  13. Someone on Twitter: Academy is going to see all the attention from this and say "Damn, we should have invited black people sooner!"
  14. Damn, I thought Serena would be the one with that dress she was wearing. Sisters trying to out-cleave each other on the big night.
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