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Marfa Low Crown

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Posts posted by Marfa Low Crown

  1. Fact of the matter is that I had a lot of unreported sharts in 2021. Minimal blurps and nuisances. They all classified. They were all within bounds but I only posted the game changers. Why hammer the post with tremors. Let's just focus on reporting earthquakes.

    I've adjusted my grading. I'll post here now when it's basically a wind assisted shitting of your pants. The criteria is a shart that not only gets through the underwear but manifests visually in the trousers or the seat you're sitting on.  I'd wager the latter is the holy grail. Go big or go home.

    Got on the board fabulously today..  as always it was a surprise... a total wreckage as pants and boxers were beyond salvage with a straddle walk to shed boxers and pants and a hop into the shower to fix things. If I'm at this point this early in 2022 well....I'm good for a few more posts. Stay frosty. 

    • Hook 'Em 3
    • Like 1
    • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
  2. Years ago when I waited tables I had a large party of gay men in my section. Every time I approached the table they would all stop talking. Towards the end of their meal I went by to clear some last few things and a man who had his back to me was talking.

    His friends faces went blank and one of them was trying to motion to him to stop speaking but it wasn’t fast enough to stop him from blurting out with a heavy lisp, “So I told him, Steve, if you can’t find my prostate I mean just don’t even bother!”. 

    • Haha 2
    • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
  3. Friends invited me over for sausage, sauerkraut, & black eyed peas on New Year’s Day. Declined & explained that I could shit my pants on my own thank you very much. They’re still in their 30’s so I don’t think they fully understand yet. 

  4. 48 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

    It's ok. Whatever you did wrong will be brought up in arguments for the next 50 years.

    This man knows. 

    I actually just sent that image to my girlfriend. Thats exactly how our last big argument ended. At one point she finally just said, “Shut up and come over here & suck my nipples!”. It was some of the best sex we’ve ever had. 

  5. On 11/18/2021 at 1:52 PM, Buzzrock said:

    if you haven’t gotten a squatty potty you’re missing out. It’s a game changer. Turds as long as your arm and your legs don’t fall asleep.

    Back to this for a second. Ex-gf and I ended up with a squatty potty at a Christmas exchange. There do seem to be two camps to this because while she said it made little difference for her, for me it was a game-changer. I ended up with it after the break up and it's the thing I wish I could take with me everywhere. If it works for you I would say it easily adds 3-4 inches to every turd. I'm still waiting for the legendary unbroken two footer but I've definitely been in the neighborhood. Maybe they should change their slogan to, "Is squatty potty right for you?".

  6. On 10/19/2021 at 7:13 PM, Hmbre97 said:

    10 yr old walking to laundry room holding a pair of underwear

    Me: whatcha got there bud?
    Him: my underwear...
    Me: having some issues?
    Him: I had a foop accident but just a tiny bit
    Me: foop?
    Him: I farted but then some poop came out too. I call it fooping.
    Me: alright, fair enough. Happens to the best of us.

     

    Send him our way & we’ll get him straight. 

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