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closetojumping

Burnt Ends
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Posts posted by closetojumping

  1. 2 hours ago, miguelito said:

    Ugh, that sounds terrible, for a lot of reasons.  Did they have a guy flying around in a jetpack, too?

    The fucking jet pack guy references will never not make me laugh out loud. I never actually heard an origin story for how he started showing up. In my mind, I like to believe that it was actually a bizarre hobby of Steve Patterson and he just started showing up in his gear and blasting around. Is there a real story though ?

  2. 24 minutes ago, USMCHorn said:

    A lot of shitty comments in this thread about a man who might die from his injuries. I know we’re assholes but Jesus Christ...

    My comment was a straight quote from good guy Terrelle Pryor himself. Trouble has followed him everywhere and his innocence in any matter is dubious. Still, I’m not cheering for most peoples’ death. Do I have a list? Sure. Are some people around here and within the program on the list? Sure. Terrelle Pryor, though? No. 

    That said, don’t be a gash about it. 

    • Like 7
  3. Where is the “Herman gets a $30million buyout” bullshit coming from? He gets $3million/yr remaining on his agreement, ie., $12million if fires after this year. Is there new data somewhere stating otherwise ?

  4. 16 minutes ago, BERT said:

     

    "Worse? How can this get any worse? Look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!!!" 

    Hahahaha. I can never tell whether it is funnier to me when the easter egg is appreciated or when it is totally missed/ignored. I feel I do it almost every post and need to go find some original material, but it’s fun. 

  5. 39 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

    I'm not acting in any way other than pointing out that you're wrong. Making the argument of "you said 'top programs' and I said 'blue bloods' so you're wrong!" is the only childish thing happening here.

    Either way, let's look at your eight "blue bloods" that you've somehow arbitrarily defined as such, and your 20 year time period, which you arbitrarily chose. Even using your silly parameters, your argument is still laughably terrible.

    - Bob Stoops won in 2000, two years removed from being a defensive coordinator at non-blueblood Florida. 
    - Pete Carroll won in 2004, and was the definition of "prospect, unproven coach". Prior to USC, he hadn't coached in college football in nearly 20 years, and was only a defensive coordinator in college. He was also largely unsuccessful in the NFL.
    - Jim Tressel won in 2002, two years removed from Youngstown State.

    - And of course Mack

    The only other coaches of your "blue blood" group that have won it are Saban and Meyer. 

    So a full four out of the six coaches that have won championships by the standards defined by you were unproven when they were hired. You are wrong. 

    Look forward to seeing how you move the goalposts next.

    All you have to do is a simple google search to figure out what a fucking idiot you’re making of yourself on this thread. You are a college football retard if you can’t figure out that the other guy wasn’t being arbitrary at all, clownface. Stop muddying up this thread with your willful ignorance. Fuck. 

    • Like 1
  6. I recommend double checking the Last Jedi thread or whatever the title of the last movie was with a thread on this board. Any poster at any point in that thread defending that movie should be downvoted, disregarded and put on ignore. It is Battlefield Earth-level, worst-movie-of-all-time bad and just another example of the Star Wars franchise taking its fan base for granted and visually raping them in the process. 

    Also, while the most recent fanraper of a movie set a new standard, episodes 1-3 are also some of the worst tripe ever put on a screen. They are not defensible as a story in any manner and the only people who ever attempt to do so are bulletin board dipshits that would be too ashamed to take the same position in a personal setting. Hayden Christianso/en pulls off one of the greatest performance art pieces in the history of entertainment in episodes 2 and 3 with an Andy Kaufman-esque troll job where he attempts to ruin every scene involving his character in a way that hilariously and irrevocably destroys the franchise’s entire legacy. 

    Correct order is 4-6, Rogue One, and frankly, for the non-Star Wars normal viewers, Solo is just fine. The “canon” snobs and dorks will howl about that for whatever reason, but it’s worth the watch. Rogue One is the best of all of them and holds up as a fucking great movie irrespective of being anchored to the rest of the overrated mediocrity that is “Star Wars canon”. 

    If you don’t like your kid and want to ruin movies for him, you could also subject him to bingewatching a Star Wars prequel followed by Transformers 3, then another SW prequel followed by Transformers 4 and so forth. My understanding is that this is how the Chinese are currently torturing dissidents for information before sending their then mind-jellied, limp bodies off to padded rooms in the nuthouse to live out the rest of their sad lives. 

    • Hook 'Em 2
    • Like 2
  7. 2 hours ago, Fondren & Main said:

    Not touching any of this shit. I assume Coach Fuckface will be here for two more years because ... Sugar Bowl. Whatever the fuck. I’d be all for Urban Meyer at Texas. I’m too despondent to have or offer hope, in any event.

     

    • Haha 1
  8. 6 minutes ago, Chooky said:

    The reporter who asked "how is your head?" is the same reporter who asked "how shaken are you at 6 - 5 and how are you the right man for this job?"  He is now my favorite sports reporter in the world.  

    Swear to God, if Surly could get credentialed, I'd show up on Surly's behalf to a PC and throw a fucking shoe at Coach Fuckface while screaming obscenities. Or I'd ask whatever Andy Kaufman-esque questions we voted on that week, and just keep pumping them at him until forcibly removed from the building.

    • Like 6
    • Haha 1
  9. On 11/16/2019 at 6:25 PM, TexArcher said:

    Jesus.  That would be too many for our basketball team who plays three times as many games.

    This actually triggered an unexpected flashback for me. My junior year in high school, our varsity basketball coach was fired ahead of the season for fucking one of the girls in my grade and we inherited the JV coach unexpectedly. Easily the worst manager at any level in anything that I have ever been around. We went 7-22 on the season and were ahead or tied in 18 of the losses with 3 minutes or less left in the game, and lost all of them by less than 6 points. 

    This seals it on a personal level for me. Herman doesn't have the brains or the balls to be worth a fuck at this level. Last year was fool's gold and he's never going to get it done here without a sea-change in courage for him. Unless someone knows a witch from Aliquippa that can cast a spell on this motherfucker that gives him some intestinal fortitude, he won't change enough to do anything of lasting value here. Fucking fuck.

    • Like 1
  10.  

    5 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

    If you think CTJ is going to spend money on helping Tom Herman...with pretty much anything...I'm not sure you've been paying attention to his posts.

    Unless of course, CTJ is paying to help Tom Herman suffer an unfortunate defenestration, which will certainly be ruled an accident. But that's pretty much it. 

    Thiefery made me laugh,  but yeah, Coach Fuckface gets zero support from me. I am rooting actively for bad shit to happen to him, indiscriminately. 

    • Like 1
  11. 59 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

    I'm 100 years the only mention of Gen X in the history books will be that they brought us grunge music and loose flannel shirts.

    They'll also be remembered as the last generation that made more money and had a longer life expectancy than their preceding generation. Millennials will be the first to earn less and live less, and no, it won't be anyone's fault but your own.

    I find it pretty fucking comical when millennials attempt to rationalize and argue with Gen Xers as though they can fucking keep up. We earn more than you, are better educated than you, and we're probably your fucking boss. Go back to quietly sobbing at your low ranking desk while you retweet/Instastory the latest shitty meme and let the rest of us pick up the slack on your work, you whiny, entitled shitheads. 

    • Like 3
    • Haha 1
  12. Boy, that is a grim list. The first-year-on-the-ballot guys are all hot garbage besides Herpes Jeter. I'm sure his overrated ass gets in on the first vote, which is a joke. After that it's all guys who were known roid-freaks, closers, Rockies, assholes and Andruw Jones. 

     

     

  13. 5 minutes ago, bschoolprof said:

    Don't you rent a suite at the stadium, or was that just internet bullshit that flew over my head?  If so, you have more leverage to speed this process up than the average surly poster (which is none).  

    It’s a nice thought, but the truth is that pretty much only 3 forms of leverage exist in circumstances such as ours:

    1) Major donors. Regular givers of millions of dollars a year and a voiced interest in access. Some give and want nothing. I view it as a certainty that we’re not far away from a native of the boards ultimately turning into one of big players, though. I’m sure it has happened on one of the college BBS’s somewhere already. I don’t think anyone posting on UT boards currently fits this billing.

    2) Internet trolling and activism. Many of us already participate and fund this and we’re quite good at it as a community. The current banner effort is a good example. I don’t like the timing of it and won’t be participating, but I won’t be disdaining it either. I think we’re better keeping our powder dry for optimal output later, but whatever, I can’t be a hypocrite on it. FireTomHerman.com has been owned for a while and it’s probably time to actually deploy it, I guess. We’re not sure of value or impact but it can’t hurt at some point. 

    3) Mainstream media and P.R.  This is often impacted by functions 1 and 2. If someone has an honest to God story to run with that can lead to a HC’s demise, there are currently ways to leverage 3 against that person. It’s often harmful in unpredictable ways and should be handled like nitroglycerin. 

    Outside of that, everyone is dickless on this, no matter how many tweets or emails they send. 

  14. It occurred to me this week, in seeing this thread near the top, that I don’t really despise Chuckles for anything but UT’s performance while he was here and his general incompetence. It’s fun watching his futility spread all over another program.

    Then I counter that with how I feel about Tom Herman and realize the personal danger of where things are headed. After Fuckface is fired at Texas in a few years, it is going to be unhealthy for me in terms of how badly I am going to need him to fail elsewhere as a fan. I legitimately fan hate that motherfucker. 

    I’m taking the family to the Renn Fest on Saturday. I assume I’m going to have to find something similar next September rather than subject myself to the premise of Sweet Chuck beating Coach Fuckface. I otherwise won’t be able to protect myself or those around me. It’s all childish, I recognize, but it’s also my pathetic reality. 

    These fucking guys. 

  15. “Make it stop. “

    ”Please wake us from this nightmare”

    ”Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani!”

    “Herman killed Epstein”

    I don’t know. A banner, fully burdened cost, will be around $1500-$2000 max. We could just take that money and buy Zach Smith a plane ticket, some Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor, a spot at a hostel and pay the rest to him to beat Tom Herman into a vegetized coma. I think the latter would be a better use of resources. 

    • Like 2
  16. Herman is easily as rock stupid as Strong. But, he won the Sugar Bowl last year, so now we’ve got to endure at least another two years of his worthless fucking ass doing whatever he can to bury Texas Football. Our best hope is that he overdoses doing lines off of a stripper’s ass in the offseason, because we’re stuck with him for awhile otherwise. 

    • Like 1
  17. On 11/13/2019 at 12:46 AM, RPM said:

    Speaking of winter, what became of, I think his name is, JT? The guy living in Colorado that coached some HS basketball for a while. Haven't heard anything out of him in a while.

    If you mean "jt", I saw that dude at the LSU game and he looked like he was doing great. I know he has a bunch of friends that are still posting. Like Machinator, phdhorn, and others, I think he's on self-selected hiatus and seems happy with it. Also, that dude and @Froghorn717 had some fucking glorious creeper-pornstar mustaches working in September.

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