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closetojumping last won the day on December 10

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  1. I met up with SydneyCarton at a company Christmas party earlier this week and it’s funny, he ended up telling me to feel free to go fuck myself a few times as well. It’s a real gift he has of ingratiating those who otherwise feel attached to a likeminded cause.
  2. So did this cat have surgery or what? I’m beginning to worry that he’s another promising TB who happens to be made of glass.
  3. Fatkid54 vacillates between being one of the biggest dipshits on this site and seeming informed and humorous. He swings more violently than a banker’s wife. If you don’t laugh at things on Internet forums, then what the fuck are you doing on Internet forums? Are you above it all? Too refined or cool for it? The BBS equivalent of Ethan Hunt, never even caring to look at the explosions as you simply move forward, inform and solve problems? GTFO with that nonsense.
  4. He’s been granted an extra hour on Internet privileges during the holidays for good behavior in his wing of the nuthouse.
  5. He has badass recruiters on staff. Antonio Pearce is a witch.
  6. You have got to stop with this bullshit about Anwar being a mouthpiece. He's a completely unconnected imbecile getting paid by another one. There will be flips if coordinators aren't named by NSD1. You're either being purposefully obtuse or willfully naive. None of this shit matters. New coordinators will be named within the next few days, at the latest.
  7. On Cain, I’ve never passed this on because of all the noise about his recruitment, but fuck it. He calls the morning of signing day and he thinks he’s ready to sign with Texas. Herman gets into a semantics argument with him about the word “thinks” and what it implies about commitment. Cain goes to school and signs with Penn State. Texas is shocked and cues up the podium story.
  8. He cannot help himself. It's awesome and absurd. He's like the worst BBS sleeper cell ever. He should shout "ta-dahh!!!" in his posts when he finally outs himself with each handle.
  9. Hahahaha hahahaha!!! This fucking guy again. Holy shit. I love this fucking shit.
  10. Holy shit, guys. I was just being a cynical dick.
  11. I just assume the pursuit of a new TB is a sign that Whittington is heading for the exit.
  12. I was just doing some searching and it still shocks me to read that Texas tops the merchandise sales numbers at this stage, surpassing Bama. We've sucked in all sports for a long ass time. It's a powerful fucking brand. When I travel outside of the US, I see Yankees, Lakers, Cowboys and Longhorn gear and notice it. You'll see people in that gear frequently. I'm also surprised when I see another brand from the US, especially at the college level. It's usually Notre Dame, Michigan, or Ohio State. I'm assuming most of the mouthbreathers from the SEC footprint lack the disposable income and personal ambition to put towards travel outside of their home zip code, which would be why I never see any of their logos. Although, I did see a chick wearing an ATM shirt standing outside of the Notre Dame Cathedral, in ruins, this summer. She was wearing high top tennis shoes, cutoff shorts, an ATM shirt, and eating a hot dog in the middle of Paris. Of course.
  13. I get it, but I can still be pretty smug about this. The Texas brand continues to be a fucking juggernaut, and a proof point is the fact that our teams suck fucking horribly across all major sports and we still move a fuckton of merchandise. Do I get any of that money? No. Does Tom Herman? Yes. Does that make me want to punch myself in the face until I pass out? Yes. So I'll take the smugness with the paralyzing disappointment because, yeah, fuck it, makes it all easier to swallow.
  14. That's way less entertaining, to me at least. I could use many more common words than much of what I choose, but I don't, and I won't. It happens less frequently these days, but it's always odd to me when people try to nitpick my posting behavior around grammar choices.
  15. This is another one based on a real crash. I think it was the Sioux City crash in the late 80's. Not exactly a plane crash movie, but the documentary about the sole survivors of various commercial plane crashes on Netflix is also a pretty interesting and complex viewing.
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