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deadshank

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Posts posted by deadshank

  1. On 6/21/2018 at 12:49 PM, Aphelion said:

    His longest recorded statement was “give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you.”

     

    So Koko is aggy?

    • Haha 1
  2. 28 minutes ago, David Dennison said:

    It's good to find out how things actually work. I envy their cultural attitude toward work. It seems to have resulted in fantastic policies regarding paid vacation and family leave.

    You sound lazy and entitled.  

  3. 24 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

    Ipe (Ee-Pay)  It gets pricey, but it lasts forever, takes little maintenance, looks like teak with a semi yearly coat of oil, and is considered a fire retardant material by Ca. building codes (or so I've heard), it's so dense it just smoulders....

    Smoulders with a "u"?   Must be fancy English stuff.

    • Hook 'Em 1
  4. 22 minutes ago, You don't know me said:

    Since the kids have been on summer break, the oldest 2 have had either strength and conditioning or football 'camp' Monday - Thursday.  I get them there before 5:45 AM and then the wife picks them up at 8:00 AM.  Every single morning I get the same question as I am walking out the door for work.  "What time are they getting done today?"

    She's wants to stop at her boyfriend's apartment if she has time.

  5. 4 hours ago, Modessit said:

    Yesterday:

     

    Wife: Can you go in late tomorrow? My boss wants me to sit in on an interview for a new special ed teacher at 11.

     

    Me: Ok, but that means I'll have to work late. I'll bring the kids to you at noon then go to work.

     

    Wife: That's fine.

     

    Today:

     

    I set my alarm for 10am so I can sleep in a bit since I'm going to be working late. I get up at 10 and see the wife isn't getting dressed. I ask her why she wasn't getting ready.

     

    Wife: I decided not to go.

     

    Me: Why not?

     

    Wife: It's raining.

     

    Me: You didn't think to tell me so I could go into work earlier?

     

    So I had to work late for no reason.

     

     

    I'm surprised you paid enough attention to your wife's schedule to notice she wasn't getting ready for her appointment. 

    • Like 1
  6. 7 minutes ago, elfenix said:

    elfenix's general guide to highway driving:

    1.  keep out of the leftmost lane if you're not passing someone and there is space in the right lane(s) to move into.

    2. if you're in a 4+ lane highway with exit/entrance ramps every mile or so (many urban freeways in texas), stay out of the rightmost lane unless entering/exiting because other people need to enter/exit and you're in their way.

    3. try not to pass anyone on the right, it's harder for them to see you coming so they're more likely to move into you.  that means giving left lane campers an opportunity to do the right thing and move over. 

    TL; DR

    • Like 1
  7. Had some friends swim across at the old bridge in NL.  Just becuase.

    Mexican and American border guards just watched with the rest of us and laughed.  They asked me if I knew "those idiots" and I said I did.  Both sides said they'd probably get some bad infections becuase the water is so dirty.  

    The Mexican guards said the river would run dry if Nuevo didn't flush their toilets for 30 minutes.

    Glad I didn't join them on that escpade.

  8. 4 hours ago, Chad Fuck said:

    I usually wake up early and take the dogs for a walk around the neighborhood.  This often gives me occasion to see wildlife one doesn't see during working hours.  A baby woodpecker jumping out of the nest, the occasional coyote, etc.  This weekend, the wife, Chad Jr. and I, were walking down to the local swimming hole (YMCA) and I was marveling that just that morning, I'd seen a female mallard sitting in the grass between the street and the sidewalk.  We walked less than a foot away from it and the dogs hadn't even noticed.  

    At this point, it got weird.  The wife says, "But we aren't really close to the water,  how did it get there?"  I responded with a quizzical look, and said, "Run that by me again, I'm not sure I understood.  We live within spitting distance of the lake?"  She responds, "But still, how did it get all the way over here (not far at all} on its' tiny little legs?"  

    I began to chuckle, and said, "You just made the thread."  - "What thread?"

    Chad Jr. started laughing, "She thinks ducks can't fly!"

     

    First time I took my old lady out to the deer blind it was for varmints and pigs. I had a varmint call, set it out and turned it on.  I told her the birds of prey will be the first to show up and we will see some bobcats and dogs soon after.  

    She rolled her eyes the way wives that have never gone to sit in a deer blind but know everything seem to always do. 

    I asked her "why the eye roll?"

    She replied "the varmint call won't work on birds."

    I says, "why?"

    She comes back with "birds can't hear because they don't have ears."

    I asked her "why do people use duck calls?"

    Tone.....

    • Like 3
    • Haha 1
  9. 6 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

    I ate three Taco Bell tacos with Diablo sauce and a bucket of Dr. Pepper.

    In the past I have said that people should eat Taco Bell when they want to avoid Mexican food. This Taco Bell must have heard me bitching, because they upped their game. Today I laid a double-flusher that looked like two dead catfish laying in the bowl. I'm guessing stuff I ate in grade school came out with it. I could go shop for new jeans in a smaller belt size, that is, if I trusted my gut enough to go more than ten feet from the bathroom.

    Muchas gracias y todo respeto, Taco Bell.

    Did your son get hush puppies?

  10. At deer lease (wife off somewhere between AZ & Utah)

    Dry-aged ribeye (greeled), sauteed green beans with onion and bacon, boiled , mashed & baked white potatoes with green onions, Falfurrias butter, minced garlic, bacon, S&P and a topping of cheddar cheese.

    and my 3rd share of a handle of Dewar's.

     

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