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Posts posted by deadshank
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It's because you Dutch men touch pee pees in bed together at night.
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22 minutes ago, David Dennison said:
He was a good politician for sure.
But he was an idiot who did long lasting damage to this country.
You're still goofy.
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45 minutes ago, David Dennison said:
That started with Ronald Reagan.
Nope. You're a poo flinging monkey.
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1 minute ago, Reagan1k said:
Buddy of mine took a shit out the side of a duck blind but didn't account for the wader effect. His dump got caught in the folds and when he pulled his waders up it started between his shoulder blades and ran down his back. It was really cold so you couldn't smell much with frozen noses.
We always kept our waders on until we got to a quick-stop for breakfast and coffee. Once we warmed up in the truck it was unbearable and he figured out what happened. We made him ride in the bed of the truck back to town.
Is your buddy's name Eddie?
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2 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:
But how was the meatloaf??
My meat don’t loaf around South Austin’s ma
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18 minutes ago, South Austin said:
I never heard about that until I read a story about the Heights murders in Texas Monthly a few years ago. That magazine has put out some good ones, but that was one of the most haunting bone-chilling pieces I've ever read in TM.
I’ve haunted your ma’s piece for years now.
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Did he take a wide stance?
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She said she had an Ichi Pusi.
Cable guy said he was unfamiliar with the Japanese brands.
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10 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:
The photocopier at work had a sign on it for weeks that said: "Please don't make large numbers of copies at once. The machine overheats and jams if you do."
I placed a sign that said "A ten dollar fan blowing on the back of the copier would probably fix this problem."
Nothing was done. Time passes. I eventually buy and place a cheap desk fan behind the copier. Problem solved. Worked like a well oiled machine. Not a single jam for weeks.
Then one day we get a new photocopier. I asked the secretary about the fan. "Oh, was that your fan? We threw it away. Why did you put it behind the photocopier?" For a second I thought I was being trolled, but she was serious.
McGuyver has always been underappreciated for his works. You are, too.
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4 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:
Am I really the first to say "would" in this thread?
Shaun King? Dude...weird.
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1 minute ago, Patricio Swayze said:
Chucklefuck drivers who enter the freeway to avoid the light at an intersection as I am trying to exit. They sit in that lane and I am expecting them to merge into traffic. Fuck you.
Porpoising is a scourge
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Update: manager asked offending dumbasses to please keep door closed. Next person in line opened up door and stood in doorway, leaning on sign that says please keep door closed.
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Big sign on door. Please keep door closed while waiting in line
dumbasses stand in doorway letting a/c air out and heat in
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Get a haircut, punk
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Get a haircut, punk.
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On 5/20/2018 at 8:55 PM, Equinox said:
You haven't shit until you've done it out in the sticks, leaning back against a tree, telephone pole, your pickup, etc.
Try pronghorn hunting in the grasslands. No trees. You and your hunting partner go toe to toe / lock hands and squat. The toilet paper exchange is the tricky part.
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On 5/21/2018 at 9:38 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:
I’m watching The Dirty Dozen right now for probably the fiftieth time and I just realized that Trini Lopez was in it
My dad went to high school with Trini Lopez. Crozier Tech in Dallas. For real.
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Just now, South Austin said:
Yes, and she gave you a dishonorable discharge.
Her discharge is problematic.
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Just now, South Austin said:
I can’t imagine it’s worse than Jacksonville, North Carolina. I spent about half my childhood outside of there when my dad was stationed in Camp Lejeune.
I was stationed in your ma's Camp LePoon.
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10 minutes ago, Lobo said:
Italians who think all Italians are from some sort of pure, untainted bloodline directly to the peak of the Roman Empire ~200AD.
"And where are the Romans now?"
"They are dust."
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We put a roof on a Chick-fil-a in J'ville. I didn't go, I knew better as I hate Florida, Floridians and all of the states you have to go through to get there from Houston. I sent some of my employees. They wanted to quit after the experience. That's all I got.
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19 minutes ago, slorch said:
we fi'in'a drop some acid in here and get real damn philosophical and shit.
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On 5/16/2018 at 8:30 PM, RPM said:
I'll second Cast Away. GF drug me to see it opening weekend and it was worse than I anticipated. Slept through about 1/3 of it. Now, I consider it a near masterpiece bit of film.
Ya, well, she slept through ALL of the sex you had with her after the film.
Grizzly Bear hunting approved in Wyoming
in Daily Texan
Posted
As opposed to killing them softly with his song?