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deadshank

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Posts posted by deadshank

  1. 1 minute ago, Reagan1k said:

    Buddy of mine took a shit out the side of a duck blind but didn't account for the wader effect.  His dump got caught in the folds and when he pulled his waders up it started between his shoulder blades and ran down his back.  It was really cold so you couldn't smell much with frozen noses. 

    We always kept our waders on until we got to a quick-stop for breakfast and coffee.  Once we warmed up in the truck it was unbearable and he figured out what happened.  We made him ride in the bed of the truck back to town.  

    Is your buddy's name Eddie?

  2. 10 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

    The photocopier at work had a sign on it for weeks that said: "Please don't make large numbers of copies at once. The machine overheats and jams if you do."

    I placed a sign that said "A ten dollar fan blowing on the back of the copier would probably fix this problem."

    Nothing was done. Time passes. I eventually buy and place a cheap desk fan behind the copier. Problem solved. Worked like a well oiled machine. Not a single jam for weeks.

    Then one day we get a new photocopier. I asked the secretary about the fan. "Oh, was that your fan? We threw it away. Why did you put it behind the photocopier?" For a second I thought I was being trolled, but she was serious.

    McGuyver has always been underappreciated for his works.  You are, too.

    • Like 1
  3. 1 minute ago, Patricio Swayze said:

    Chucklefuck drivers who enter the freeway to avoid the light at an intersection as I am trying to exit. They sit in that lane and I am expecting them to merge into traffic. Fuck you.

    Porpoising is a scourge 

  4. On 5/20/2018 at 8:55 PM, Equinox said:

    You haven't shit until you've done it out in the sticks, leaning back against a tree, telephone pole, your pickup, etc. 

    Try pronghorn hunting in the grasslands. No trees.  You and your hunting partner go toe to toe / lock hands and squat.  The toilet paper exchange is the tricky part. 

  5. Just now, South Austin said:

    I can’t imagine it’s worse than Jacksonville, North Carolina. I spent about half my childhood outside of there when my dad was stationed in Camp Lejeune. 

    I was stationed in your ma's Camp LePoon.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1
  6. We put a roof on a Chick-fil-a in J'ville.  I didn't go, I knew better as I hate Florida, Floridians and all of the states you have to go through to get there from Houston.  I sent some of my employees.  They wanted to quit after the experience.  That's all I got.

  7. On 5/16/2018 at 8:30 PM, RPM said:

    I'll second Cast Away. GF drug me to see it opening weekend and it was worse than I anticipated. Slept through about 1/3 of it. Now, I consider it a near masterpiece bit of film.

    Ya, well, she slept through ALL of the sex you had with her after the film.

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