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MaybeACoordinator

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Posts posted by MaybeACoordinator

  1. 1 hour ago, cactusflinthead said:

    A pipe fitter named Bubba and now your dad is in the story?

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    Yeah...One Christmas Bubba came with Aunt J and he brought presents. One of them was for Aunt Li, who was then about 13.

    She opened it. It was a bikini.

    "Why'on't you try it on?" he said in front of the entire family.

    She did not.

    He disappeared from the picture a couple of years later and that was when Aunt J and cousins M and Sh moved in with us. There was some moment I've kind of blocked out when Cousin Sh said something remarkably like "My daddy says I am the best kisser around". I didn't find it all that strange when that same scene came up in Vacation a few years later.

    • Haha 2
  2. As some of you may know, I had a serious health scare beginning in the middle of last year, one I am still recovering from. Said scare brought my aunts into contact with my dad, the ex of their sister, and they were alarmed at what a titanically narcissistic asshole he is, and were not shy about telling me so....And you know, he come to think about it, he is, and always has been.....So even with all the craziness on mom's side of the family, the love they've shown me is preferable to his sorry coke-snorting, pot-smoking pussyhound ass. (He gave up the coke and the strange but still smokes a joint and a half a day.)

    I've not been welcome to stay more than a couple of days at a time at his house (in Nashville) since 1989, when, down on my luck, I moved in for a few weeks and had the temerity to eat some of my step-cunt's chicken salad from out of the fridge. (She's his third wife and selfish AF; an only child who never had kids of her own.) 

    Since then I've been on my own and have never asked him for money, though he has provided some from certain windfalls we've had thanks to his dad and grandparents. Once these started to amount to real money, step-cunt stepped in and demanded that my sister and me be cut off, as she wanted that cash for herself. And now she is the only person he listens to, and keeps sending me these messages that are ostensibly fatherly advice but obviously translate to "Don't even think about becoming a burden on your step-cunt and me."

    To that end, he did start a GoFundMe for me, but then used his own picture as the lead. And it says my name, but it's "presented by (My dad)"

    At 75, he launched a new little career as a fucking singer of all things, and his roadshow uses his own name twice. He slots in visits to me when his gig schedule allows. As he recently told me, while in recovery, "I only married your mom so you would not be a bastard." And here I had thought for fifty-plus years they loved each other and he only impregnated her when they were already engaged.

    He dumped me on my grandparents' doorstep twice -- once when I was about two, and then when I was 14, all because he wanted to party instead of be a dad. He was not there when I won district as a sprinter as a HS freshman, or any of my HS-age baseball highlights, and made it to exactly one of my football games, mainly because it coincided with both the death of his brother (from AIDS; yet another gay family member) and the fact that step-cunt was still in Houston at the time, so hell, he thought, I'll go catch my only son's football game while I'm down there.

    Even so I idolized him for 52 years and it took my sister-aunts to get me to reassess his sorry ass.

    • Hook 'Em 3
    • Like 2
  3. 8 minutes ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

    Interesting unit of measurement. I would give your story 2 Torbushs but they are pretty subjective, I suppose.

    Dates back to the Hornfans days and translates to "wow". His D was getting worked by the Urban Meyer's Utah squad.

  4. Uncle T needs some fleshing out as a character. He'll be 76 this year. We suspect he was CIA. We know he was Secret Service and later worked in corporate security for various oil companies. He never married nor even brought a GF to the house but judging by his porn collection he is not gay, and he did once let us know he was dating a Filipina beauty queen. (He bought her a scarf while we were on a family trip to Europe in the flush times before the Oil Bust wrecked us) Somehow he had just happened to be in the Vatican when Pope JP II was shot. Man of mystery and also a titanic asshole. Cousin M almost murdered him with his bare hands when he got sick of his bullying in his HS years. He's a total weenie without his gun.

    • Haha 2
  5. 9 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

    There's no chance of inbreeding in your family is there?

    Probably back in Ireland -- back then that wing of the family was Protestant, and thus had a limited breeding pool. Meanwhile my mom's mom's family has a documented case of fairly recent incest: my great-something grandmother was married to a man named Otis S. P., her first cousin. Her dad had the same name, and so did one of her brothers, so she was married to one O, the sister of another, and the daughter / daughter-in-law of a third. My grandmother is proud of it -- she said it makes us more like the royals.

    This happened back around 1870 after my ancestors were chased out of Sabine Pass by a combo of yellow fever and Confederate partisans, who wanted to kill OSP's dad because they suspected him of signaling Yankee ships from the Sabine Pass light, where he was the keeper. So they fled back to his native Maine, where his son fell in love with his favorite brother's daughter. (That side of the family were multigenerational sea captains)

    So far as I know, only one of their descendants was gay -- my mom's namesake, who played a key role in the development of Lamar U. (Not with money but sweat -- she was the head librarian for decades.)

    • Haha 1
  6. Oh and one of my sisters came out as bi, just like our mother was. And apparently my great-grandparents and grandfather. Weird, wild stuff. 

    Oh and looking back, my mom was the real black sheep: she was a complete hellion from teen years until she drew her last breath. (Kicked out of two Catholic high schools, a drinker, a drug addict, an artist, a singer, and a brawler. She and Janis Joplin might as well have been twins)

    But she is no longer with us, so...

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  7. 21 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

    Thank goodness they didn’t get cute with Mo and try to film it in LA with stock exterior shoots in Houston. It’s a decent show. The subject matter isn’t my favorite, but it feels authentic because they film in Houston. 
     

    Linklater’s attention to detail in Apollo 10 1/2 is incredible. I remember getting that Galveston tar shit all over my feet and my dad having to rinse it off with paint thinner. 

    We all had different cures for Galveston tar lol. 

  8. 24 minutes ago, austingirl said:

     

    I got a VPN on my personal computer so I could watch it in June and not have to wait until when the fuck ever it aired in the US. I will miss this show so much. 

    Me too but I am glad McGee ended it when she wanted to instead of dragging it out for the fuck ever like we tend to do over here. The ending is perfect.

    • Like 1
  9. 8 minutes ago, Ignatius said:

    Promotion/relegation only works because of the massive spending inequity that doesn’t exist in the NFL. The Texans are a dogshit, idiot-run franchise, and the odds they’ll win a Super Bowl in my lifetime are infinitely higher than the odds that Crystal Palace will win the EPL. The Waltons just paid $4.5B for the fucking Broncos; you think they’re going to shell out that kind of cash if there’s a chance they won’t get their cut of the TV contract next year?

    Soccer fans always bring this shit up, but there’s a billion reasons it’ll never happen in any US professional league…

    Oh I know it's a fantasy...Barring a collapse and rebuild of American society as a whole it won't happen. But maybe that's more likely than the Texans in a Super Bowl

  10. 7 minutes ago, Ignatius said:

     

    That shit happens because the British police let it happen. Motherfucker who fires a flare gun in a stadium in the US stands a great chance of getting shot to death in the spot. Picture people storming AT&T Stadium or Reliant the way English fans did Wembley a couple of years ago - it would have been Kent State x 100…

    Yeah there does seem to be a long-held belief in that society to allow the working class to get absolutely obliterated, beat the fuck out of each other and fuck up whole town centers ever Saturday.....It is fucking nuts. I attended a couple of matches with my ex-brother-in-law and fairly meaningless, non-rival games had the off-field intensity of the Red River Shootout times ten.

    But the more I think about it, the more I believe we should have promotion and relegation here. NFL at the top, then USFL, then XFL, and after that you get sent to the increasingly professionalized college ranks. If this were in place since the Texans came around they would probably be competing with Rice in whatever conference they are in these days.

     

    Tl; dr Fuck the McNairs, viva Luv Ya Blue 

    • Like 3
  11. Cops cutting corners and lying criminals...twin themes here. 

    Decades back I had a temp gig as a mail clerk at British Telecom in Shite Town, England. (Preston) Anyway I had this weird co-worker who always seemed a little off. One time we were alone on the elevator with our little carts of mail and memos and such and out of nowhere he asked me if it was common in America to have one undercover cop come out of nowhere, hand you a healthy-size little sack of cocaine, vanish, and then for a small squad of cops to arrive out of nowhere and arrest you for said cocaine.

    He admitted this had happened to him. I told him he was being "stitched up," as they say over there, and a few days later I found out why through the grapevine: dude was strongly suspected of being a chronic flasher of little girls. The cops couldn't get him for that for some reason, so they clownishly set him up to take a serious drug rap. Dunno how it turned out -- my temp gig ended and I moved back to America a few months later, but that story illustrates both sides of the system to me.

  12. 22 hours ago, tx ind said:

    this whole thing is a joke to them, city deserves better

    I sometimes follow the English Premier League, and wow, yesterday couldn't have been more of a lesson in how we American sports fans have just been conditioned to accept shit for decades on end while they just....don't over there. Not even a little bit. 

    Yesterday the game I saw pitted Southampton vs Everton, one of the two major clubs in Liverpool, and one with a very proud history. Unfortunately for them, they have sucked of late, so much so that they are in danger of getting relegated to the next league down the pecking order of English soccer.

    And the fans are not accepting that. Police had to warn the entire ownership group to stay away from the stadium because they had received word of credible threats to their safety. The game went on and Everton choked away a lead and lost to "the Saints," and most of the fans stayed in the stands, tossing lit flares on to the field and chanting for the downfall of the ownership group. The announcers were saying they had planned that protest to go on whether Everton won or lost...

    So...two things. In a more sensible world, the Texans would have long ago been relegated to some lesser football league. Alternatively, the fans would run the McNairs out of town. But over here we are just not wired to think that way so we just pony up for another year of season tickets, year after year, and shit owners like the McNairs know there are no consequences for their ineptitude and the clownshow rolls for decades. 

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  13. We need to address the demand as well as the supply. Why do so many of our kids want to get so fucked up? Why do they want to experiment now, today, knowing that one little slip could kill them? Yes, teens think they are immortal and do stupid shit but this is different -- they see the consequences all the time and yet continue to tempt fate. Any more than that would veer deep into CR so I will avoid it here, but we have a generation of affluent kids in genuine despair and we need to figure out why and how to alleviate that.

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