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Not a cat

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Posts posted by Not a cat

  1. Johnny Appleseed for the win!

    I'm staying at a bed and breakfast place in Costa Rica where, apparently, it is customary to not flush your paper due to septic concerns but instead put the shit stained paper in the trash can.

    I asked the owner this morning why he doesn't get bidets rather than clean up shitty trash cans.  After showing him the luxe models on Amazon, he immediately ordered one to test in a room as part of a pilot program.

    I'm like a mormon missionary, spreading the good word internationally.

     

    • Like 7
    • Haha 2
  2. 2 minutes ago, hookem48 said:

    The Wizard was no wizard that day

    Rumor was that Michael bishop was up all night before the game reading Shakespeare and solving particle physics equations.   Or coked out of his mind.  One of those, I forget which one.

    • Like 1
  3. 2 minutes ago, victory88 said:

    Is Bru the highest ranked OOS recruit we’ve signed?  Can’t remember the last 5 star we signed that was in the top 10 nationally.  I know Jordan hicks was a 5 star but I don’t know if he was in the top 

    Chris Simms says hello

  4. I'm a gen Xer and am sometimes astounded when i look back at what a soft, entitled, selfish prick I was in my late teens and early 20s.  And then I watch something like this and feel like I was part of the generation that survived the Great Depression and stormed the beaches of Normandy. 

    I will now go back to yelling at clouds and tying onions around my belt.

    • Like 7
    • Haha 1
  5. 5 hours ago, Jhawk said:

    There it is... The guy who lost half to his first wife... doubled down and lost half of what was left to the second and maybe even tripled down and lost the remaining half of his 1/4th to his third wife.  Godspeed you love stricken idiot. 

    Just the one time.  Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, strike 3.

    But between the 50% haircut and fronting living expenses for over a decade, I think I hit the 1/4 threshold pretty easily.    

  6. 18 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

    This is where I dig up that time I was on Jury Duty here in San Diego for some guy named Ron Weaver. When they asked the potential jurors if anyone knew him, I raised my hand: "Are you the same Ron Weaver who, under the alias Ron McKelvey, played football for the Texas Longhorns?"

    Sheepish grin: "That I am."

    Me to the judge: "Yeah, I can't be on this jury."

    Judge to me: "How do you know this?"

    should have asked to speak in private as to why I might be biased towards him. (I didn't know that was an option.) As it was, I had to tell enough of the truth without poisoning everyone else... 

    You're a better man than me.  I might have stayed silent and executed a John Grisham plot of Runaway Jury. 

    Judge: Foreman, have you reached a verdict?

    Me:  Your honor, we find the defendant guilty of reckless distraction and causing a bowl game loss to a bunch of pederasts.

    Judge:  Excuse me?

    Me:  Oh, possession with intent to distribute.  That's what i meant.

  7. On 1/21/2019 at 9:12 AM, Jhawk said:

    I’m going to go ahead and say that immortal has left the game. 

    Leads me to a question. How many here only have 1/4th or 1/8th the shit they should have because of divorce?

    CloudyMiniatureBorer-max-1mb.gif

  8. 14 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

    Also, the Saints took a 3pt lead after this call. Then their defense allows the Rams to drive down to tie the game. Saints get ball first in OT. They throw a pick.

    They blew a 13pt lead at home and allowed the Rams to stay in this game due to their first 2 drives stalling.

    I get it. The no call was terrible. But take care of business and you win the game. Resorting to saying the NFL is now rigged and that is why you lost? Stop. Saints had that game in control. Not one penalty was called on them for the first 3 quarters or so. Get over it.

    If the call is made, saints have first and goal.  They either score a td for a 7 point lead or kick a chip shot fg for a 3 point lead with under 5 seconds on the clock.  That call took the saints chances of winning from 99% to 75% (I'm making those 2 numbers up but they're pretty close I bet).

    Sure the saints should have been able to close out a 75% chance but the fact remains they shouldn't have even had to.  

    • Like 1
  9. 3 minutes ago, MrPhlegm said:
    1 hour ago, Not a cat said:
    For me it was the sorority thread.  I may have been sitting at an office desk making the world safe for capitalism, but I could open my browser and be transported back to a time before mortgages and kids.  A simpler, more innocent time  when chasing poon was all that really mattered.

    Chasing poon IS all that really matters.

    True, but fully funding the 401k and 529 sure as hell distracts from the primary objective at times. 

  10. 1 hour ago, RomaVicta said:

    There was once a greatness to Hornfans. I was in Los Angeles when I discovered the site and felt like I'd been transported back to a dormitory TV lounge where many people were very amusing.

    Tinkles

    Aggies go for the juggler (vein)

     

    edit: I just went back and browsed the tinkles piece. They censor bitches and shit. Even if you choose a filter, bitch doesn't make it?

    For me it was the sorority thread.  I may have been sitting at an office desk making the world safe for capitalism, but I could open my browser and be transported back to a time before mortgages and kids.  A simpler, more innocent time  when chasing poon was all that really mattered.

  11. On 1/15/2019 at 1:51 PM, slorch said:

    Sitting in waitingroom while Getting oil changed in vehicle. Lady walks in and says, “ Igot my oil changed about 2 hours ago and your guy didn’t put the little sticker on my windshield.  How am I supposed to know when to come back?”

     

    At least I finally saw in real life, the morons who require said sticker.

    Shameful admission time.  I love those stickers and would probably go 10,000 miles between oil changes if I didn't have them.   

    • Like 1
  12. All right I probably should have gone about it this way to start to narrow down the options and not waste all of your time but from MSP those days I found the following 3 reasonable non-stops- Liberia, Punta Cana, and Montego Bay.  

    I can't find shit for hotels near the beach in CR so I'm down to DR and Jamaica.  I'm leaning toward Jamaica.  Seems safe and laid back.  Any reason not to book that?  And can i just lie on the beach smoking ganja all day or is that just for locals?  

     

     

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