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Posts posted by BearMace
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On 2/7/2019 at 4:55 PM, ajax said:
I just started a new job. The previous guy they said was a great employee but recently his performance sucked. He left behind a huge mess that I have to fix.
And I think I know the cause.
They cleaned most of his personal shit from the office but not all of it. Left in my desk is a giant, and I mean giant, tin of jelly candies infused with cannabis. Each tiny piece has 90mg of THC (according to the label) which means nothing to me.
What kind of dumb mother fucker takes edibles at work. Last time I tried an edible i was at UT and it fucked me up.
What do I do with the jellies?
Are you sure it's 90mg each or for the whole container? Because that's crazy strong. Most edibles you buy would be dosed around 10mg each.
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On 2/10/2019 at 10:22 AM, HornsOverIthaca said:
Tell me more about this.
I think I was in Love Field when I noticed my not particularly nice suitcase we rolling exceptionally smoothly. Could probably have cross posted in the high thread.
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My suitcase glides like it's on fucking air. It's unreal.
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The other day on my way home from work a construction crew had knocked out power to a few intersections and the signals were completely off, not even all red flash. It pleased me though that everyone I saw handled it properly and it wasn't just a complete clusterfuck.
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9 minutes ago, TexasMan said:
I was more thinking they did turn into crack houses, and someone accidentally set it on fire when lighting up.
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33 minutes ago, TexasMan said:
They sure do like burning houses down in Detroit.
I'm pretty sure they have vigilante arsonists up there. They think they're helping the neighborhoods out by burning them to the ground so they can't be crack houses/filled with squatter drug addicts.
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8, sometimes 7. I can maybe see 5. 1-4 you're a psychopath or you better be dyslexic or something.
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Would a real hammer bounce off of a person that much? I feel like it would hit you and just stick while you crumpled to the ground.
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13 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:
It’s Owen Wilson.Wow.
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1 hour ago, BearCountry11 said:
Wife and I decided yesterday that we would go to a sports bar to watch Horns play VCU today. I’m excited because this woman rarely wants to watch sports.
I get home from work and she immediately tells me she wants to go to this wine bar because she is in the mood for wine and not beer. I’m pissed because I want to watch the game and this wine bar doesn’t have a tv (wine selection at sports bar is lacking). After a brief argument we go to the wine bar. We get our table and my wife orders a fucking Stella Artois. I stare in disbelief.
Wife: “well you were talking about drinking beer so much it made me want a beer!”
How are posting from jail?
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Only way the elevator contributed to his fail is if it accelerated after he jumped. I contend the lift did nothing. The floor was his enemy.
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4 hours ago, uoftorange said:
Big difference between agitation and divorce
Is agitation like I'd never hit a woman, but I'd shake the shit out of one?
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6 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:
Grass clippings/brush
I'm ashamed that somehow escaped me as a possibility. Carry on.
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What's the third tiny trash can in the middle? Is there something beyond just trash and recycling?
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On 9/29/2018 at 7:59 AM, Bama Llama said:
Dining out.
Jamie's Restaurant, a superior burger joint on South Main across from the Shamrock Hilton in Houston in the late 60s early 70s, used a clever and efficient cure for hovering waitstaff interrupting you and your guests every three minutes, asking "How's everybody doing?" to accelerate tips and the burning and turning of your table. On each table sat a miniature metal flagpole with a tiny raise-and-lowerable Texas state flag on a little cord. When you needed a waiter, you raised your little Lone Star flag. When the waiter brought your whatever, he lowered the little flag, and otherwise stayed the fuck away! Eureka!
Sounds like Panchos, the classiest of Mexican buffets there ever was.
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49 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:
So apparently up until a year or so ago my wife thought the little urinal thing on the side of a porta potty was a shelf to set your phone on. She's been setting her phone on dirty urinal cakes for years while she pees at concerts and fairs and stuff...
This can't be real. Holy shit.
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People who don't enter a turn lane at the beginning, instead they cut across right up to the front while slowing down and blocking the through lane. Get the fuck out of the way.
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Synthol really shows the mental illness side of some of these roid guys. It doesn't remotely look good or real, and yet they somehow get addicted to it and keep injecting more and more until they look like a fucked up popeye dolls or some shit. Kinda funny how the only people they're fooling are themselves.
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That's hilarious. Gotta honor the sound guy.
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Daayum. That guy tried to tell the old dude he was gonna get hurt.
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23 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:3 hours ago, HouTex said:People with horrible body odor. Fuck, in line line right now to board a flight from Anchorage to Chicago and this old guy behind me stinks like he hasn't bathed in a month. WTF.
Unreal. I'd hate to be the poor sap that had to sit next to him.
Never fly back from Tahoe at the same time Burning Man ends. Filthy fuckers those damn burners.
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He got to keep the lava lamp? Crazy.
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1 hour ago, Pokoloco said:
My son had his girlfriend over, he played video a game while she played on her phone:
Her: Is that a date? what the hell is wrong with them?
I just shrugged and said: Millenials
Her: is that the game he's playing?
Me: Are you shitting me, you've never heard the term Millenials?
Her: Minnillials?? What is it?
I told her I have to put this on the list, but I don't think anyone will believe me.
torbush.gif
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Colorado Ski Thread 2018/19 Season
in Food and Travel
Posted
What's a cheap, easy trip from Dallas that will still have viable snow at the end of March? I'm trying to sell some friends on one last trip this season and they're being cheap. I snowboard if that makes any difference on recommendations.