7 months ago today I was sitting in a "detox" against my will with a bunch of certifiable crazies. I was momentarily certifiable myself, it was ugly, I just didn't have the scars on my wrists to prove it. Alcohol is a cunning, baffling, and powerful motherfucker to say the least. I didn't get sober when I got out, but it was certainly almost bottom. I had to get myself fired a month later to finally give it up. You don't have to go through the hell I did to get out of it. I'm just strong willed and had to completely burn it all down. This wasn't my first rodeo. I knew that my drinking days were coming to an end. Thank God I made it out alive without doing and serious harm to others.
I know holidays can be hard for the lonely, depressed, and hopeless. When I was at the end of my drinking I didn't get a lot of invites to do things and I was alone. I had plenty of friends and was fun to be around, until I wasn't. My thoughts were dark, life sucked and I isolated. If you're out there and reading this, it can and will get better if you do something different. The only thing scarier than making a change in my life was living with alone with my thoughts and the possibility of harming someone else. There is a different way to live and life gets better no matter how crazy that sounds. You're loved and there are a lot of people out there who've done what you have, some of us worse. Keep the faith, take some action to change when the thought occurs, and don't let that evil motherfucker win.