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Marfa Low Crown

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Everything posted by Marfa Low Crown

  1. That’s fantastic 🤣 Yes. There are limits & a level of enshitment where clothing should just be written off. A lot of it involves environment & circumstance. I do have a story about how I had to surrender both socks, my underwear, and an undershirt in a gas station bathroom. Although it does take things a little further than the scope of this thread’s purpose, it did begin with a shart. I can tell the story if you would like but as you are the field commander of this thread I will defer to your judgment.
  2. What do you want? It’s a big drum HE washer & if one Tide pod can’t undo my indescretions on two articles of clothing what will? no arguments here
  3. Mother. Fucker. Again, all sharts are inherently rooted in deception. Seemed innocent enough on the ride home & I knew in that instant this one was going straight through to ink my pants. Maybe even the car seat. By the time I got home... Both. Waddled bow legged into the house with absolutely no dignity and straight into the downstairs guest bathroom to finish the job. I never use this bathroom. we had family in town the last few days and some godless fucker left the toilet paper roll completely empty with no back up after I had already blown mud. I guess if there is a lesson learned here it’s to check your supply first. After inspecting my boxer shorts and realizing they appeared to have been hit with an artistic touch from a squeeze bottle of Thai peanut dressing I thought to myself well just fuck it. So I used my own underwear to wipe my ass and then promptly threw everything into the washer. stay alert out there trust no one trust no fart Marfa out. God bless
  4. Voice to text It’s like relying upon an alcoholic friend or something who comes through just enough that you keep getting suckered in only to say, I should’ve just done that shit myself.
  5. For any of y’all who are as bad at math as I am
  6. Did someone record that on a flip phone?
  7. Does your wife have a sister who’s single?
  8. I thought of another one... This is a little over 20 years ago and I am working in restaurants. I had graduated massage therapy school probably six or seven months earlier and like the majority of massage school graduates, I didn’t end up doing it as an occupation. Waiting tables and freelance programming were paying the bills back then and offered an easier and less physically draining way to make money. It’s early on a dinner shift I’m working and two of the owners of the massage school come in and sit in my section. They remember me because I was a student not long ago and we exchange pleasantries. The whole chef craze thing is really taking off at this point in time, Iron Chef all that. Already I have seen the cold slap of reality hit people we have hired in the kitchen who have just graduated from chef school but never actually worked in restaurants before. I guess they didn’t really understand they would be scrubbing fryers, pulling up mats, and generally busting their asses a long time for low pay while being burdened with significant student debt from chef school. An awful lot of them didn’t make it. I guess this was all in my 20-something brain because it’s the only explanation for the shit that came out of my mouth next... The owners asked me if I was doing massage therapy and I said no. That really should have been the end of it but.... “No, I decided not to pursue massage therapy although it’s still a great skill to have. It’s kind of like a lot of these new kitchen people we have (gesturing to the open kitchen & people behind the line). Take this chef craze going on right now for example. Most of these students coming out of school right now have underestimated the grind & physically draining nature of the job. A lot of them won’t even be doing this a year from now. There are easier & more lucrative ways to make money than this and the people who are really profiting are the ones who own the chef schools. Kind of like massage therapy.”. They ate quickly in general silence and never came back again.
  9. It’s my first week at my current job and I’m still meeting people. My friend is talking to one of the forklift drivers and it’s noisy but as I’m walking up to them I ‘hear’ the driver say, “My wife (loud crash in warehouse) going on 10 years tomorrow.”. Thinking he is talking about their upcoming 10 year anniversary I say, “Oh, congratulations!”. My friends face goes blank & his jaw drops. The driver gives me a cockeyed look and says, “Congratulations?”. My friend is staring at me with his eyes wide open and I’m starting to get confused. I said, “Yeah, you said you & your wife are going on ten years tomorrow.”. His face expressionless he says, “No, she’s been gone 10 years tomorrow.”. there is an awkward silence which my friend breaks by saying, “Awwwkward.”. Even though it was an innocent mistake I still just wanted to crawl away.
  10. Whole Foods DP line of produce? 🤷‍♀️
  11. Man down. Broke the seal on 2021 last night but thank god I was by myself. It noticed it was a hot fart but it felt innocent enough. I didn't realize I'd greased one until I got up and felt that all too familiar slick between the butt cheeks as I walked. Went upstairs to calculate the damage and found this one stained the pants too. Be careful out there.
  12. It makes me wonder if he cooked his meals or guarded him while he slept.
  13. Whatever bro. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
  14. It’s sobering to think we would all be speaking Spanish right now if Santa Ana had just brought a couple more Expeditions to the battle of the Alamo.
  15. Middle school? Bro that was in undergrad
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