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Marfa Low Crown

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Everything posted by Marfa Low Crown

  1. Per OP's ground rules my main contributions in this arena remain on the shart thread. This thread actually makes me feel better about myself because you'd have to go back to my childhood and a Handy Andy circa 1982 to find the last time I flat-out shit myself. I'm at the store with a friend and his mother I wander around as they're doing their shopping. Somewhere around the lunch meat aisle it hits me and as I struggle to find the shitter in the bewildering warehouse environment where the sign tells me the bathroom is, it's already too late. Face sheet white, pants full of shit, I ask an employee to point me in the right direction. I waddle into the stall and survey my underwear and pants which look they were targeted by a B-52 with a full payload of Saag Paneer from great height. Just, ruination. I have never shit myself before, have no idea what to do, and I feel like I have broken some kind of law that will not only incur the wrath of my friend's mom but also the grocery store. Thoroughly panicked, I determine I must conceal this and deny everything. I do my best with a bunch of paper towels that I try flushing down the toilet only to clog everything up. I wait until the coast is clear and bolt out of the bathroom, still feeling the traces of cold, wet, shit in my pants. On the ride home the friend's mom asks me if I smell poop. I deny everything. When we get to her house she asks me if I need any help getting cleaned up in the bathroom. I deny everything. When my mom finally picks me up I break down into tears as soon as we get to the car. I am afraid I have committed a crime against humanity and am going to jail. I tell her everything. She just laughs and says, "It's alright. I know you pooped your pants.". That was all that was said about it then or ever.
  2. We also have a thread if it just so happens you micro / macro shit yourself before you can even get to the bidet. You know I’m starting to realize what a fantastic community resource this website is. We offer skilled guidance in everything
  3. Might want to update the lingo, that chicken is baked not fried. 🙃
  4. Just a little motivation here ... Never give up 🤘
  5. My favorite dumps are the ones where the toilet water looks like that crazy snake wine they sell in Asian markets. Can OP add this option?
  6. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdkPS1Aq/
  7. Fact of the matter is that I had a lot of unreported sharts in 2021. Minimal blurps and nuisances. They all classified. They were all within bounds but I only posted the game changers. Why hammer the post with tremors. Let's just focus on reporting earthquakes. I've adjusted my grading. I'll post here now when it's basically a wind assisted shitting of your pants. The criteria is a shart that not only gets through the underwear but manifests visually in the trousers or the seat you're sitting on. I'd wager the latter is the holy grail. Go big or go home. Got on the board fabulously today.. as always it was a surprise... a total wreckage as pants and boxers were beyond salvage with a straddle walk to shed boxers and pants and a hop into the shower to fix things. If I'm at this point this early in 2022 well....I'm good for a few more posts. Stay frosty.
  8. She does have a point 😆
  9. Bjorkhole?
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