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Not that Bob

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by Not that Bob

  1. I don't care for The Doors, but I don't think one can, today, judge a band from 50 years ago. What sounds trite and cliché today was once new and fresh. Again, I don't care for The Doors, but their sound and Morrisons pretension was, at one time, cutting edge. Cool when it first came out. Cringe worthy 50 years later. 

  2. ...and if such is available, get a social worker involved. Most hospitals have a social work department. Most people think of social work as "charity", which in some cases it is, but in addition a social worker will know what services (such as house cleaning, shopping, etc.) are available, and how to get the patient qualified. As in the medical appointment, take notes from the social work appointment. This appointment can also be confusing. What I find helpful is to say, "I am really on overload right now. Please tell me what my one next step is, who I need to talk to, and what the phone number is."

    • Like 1
  3. 1 hour ago, Spur08 said:

    We got some pretty bad news this week.

    One of our closest friends, the matron of honor in our wedding, was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 33. I suppose she was lucky in that she found out by getting a bruise checked out from her daughter kicking her in the boob while playing. A CT flagged a couple of spots in her spine so she's getting a MRI to verify what they are. She starts chemo next week, following by surgery and radiation.

    We have a very closeknit group of about 6 or so couples. We are banding together to provide car packages and what not throughout her treatment. All of us are local DFW folk except for the friend getting treatment, who has recently relocated to Austin with her family.

    My question to this group is - what are some good items to include in care packages? Of course, there are restaurant gift cards and the like but I'm wondering what other things we may not be thinking of. Both of there families are with them right now so we can some time to organize for the following months.

    If it works with the personalities involved, have someone go to the appointments with her, and take notes and ask questions. Almost every appointment will have much detailed and confusing information that the patient can't absorb. Even if the only information gleaned is the date and time of the next appointment it will be helpful. The health care worker says, "We are going to start an IV and give the latest therapy to you. You need to let me know if you start to get dizzy. When we finish, you may have some bruising, which is normal unless it continues to spread. If it spreads call the office immediately. Your next visit is in one week. Make an appointment on the way out." What the patient hears is, "Fuck! I have cancer. Fuck! I have cancer." A friend with them can take notes on what the patient needs to do, make the follow up appointment, and remind the patient of the next visit. 

  4. Took similar trip 35 years ago, when China first opened up to outsiders. Expanded my horizons like nothing else in my life ever has. It was not at all modernized then. Plenty of Mao Jackets and Russian looking buildings. First event after landing was The Peking Opera. The combination of sleep deprivation and the uniqueness of the Opera made for quite a psychedelic experience.  

  5. One more thing. Do it now. NOW! Mom had a steady decline for several years. I made the mistake of thinking her decline would continue to be "steady" and "slow". I never considered that, added to her slow decline, there could be a sudden event that would not kill her, but would render her unable to communicate. I never considered that I would never be able to ask her where her Dad went when he followed General Pershing to France. What battles was he in? So many questions that will never be answered.

    Do it now, and by now I mean walk away from the computer and go charge up the video camera battery. Then call her and schedule a visit...now. Don't wait until "after the Holiday rush." Now. 

  6. Delicate, I would think, but worded properly, which is a strong suit for you, the feeling could be "I really like your cooking, particularly...". Don't know how you avoid the " before you die" part, but I'm confident you will figure it out. 

    Mom made a recipe book for all us kids as a Christmas gift one year. Hand written in a note card box. Being the dumb ass I am, it didn't mean much to me when she gave it, but it is now a prized possession.  I don't know if your mom has the strength to hand write all that. Maybe she could dictate to you...some quality time while collecting a treasure.

    Before her stroke I videoed mom giving the history of her life. She hated the idea of being "on camera" at first, but warmed up to it by the end. That, too is a treasure, and a valuable tool for figuring out genealogy that I never could remember. 

    • Like 2
  7. I know that you know, but I can't keep it to myself. I started telling mom things. Obvious things like "I love you"  (which was difficult because we were not a verbally affectionate family) but also less obvious things like, "You know that white cake with chocolate icing that you always make for my birthday? I really like that cake." Or, "Remember that cool Davy Crockett birthday party you had for me? That was the greatest thing! I still think about it and smile. You really worked hard on that." I started telling her things, but I didn't finish because, although she didn't die soon, she did stroke out and couldn't really understand what I was saying. At least it seemed like she didn't understand. Hell, maybe she had a greater understanding in that state of mind than she had previously, but selfishly I couldn't see that she understood. "Remember all those lessons you drove me too? Yeah, that was a lot of work. Thanks Mom. I really love you. You are a great mom."

    • Like 6
  8. In the dark ages I tuned once a week at my guitar teachers house (Wayne Wood is an Austin legend and a hell of a nice man) which I guess he tuned to a piano...don't really remember. When I was older I bought a 440A tuning fork and tuned with that. Now we have electronic tuners. She probably already has one for her acoustic. I think it's a good learning experience to learn to tune to a 440A fork, but that's pretty old school. If she doesn't have a tuner you can get one for about 10 bucks and it is well worth it. An out of tune electric guitar, wailing away, makes fingernails on a chalkboard sound like Mozart.

    ...and that brings me back to the set up. With a good set up the bridge is adjusted to make tiny adjustments to the length of the string. The tuners only adjust the tension. Once the bridge is set up the tuners will take care of business, but if the bridge is not properly set up she will never get properly in tune and that's frustrating as heck. 

  9. Go to Pro Audio Star and search Daisy Rock Guitars DR6320-B Elite Venus Vintage Ivory B-Stock. It's B-Stock (how do I get my original font size back??!) so it is probably used, but it is $205 and unless completely trashed should be a good guitar...and did I mention...get a set up. That will cost you another $50 plus strings. 

  10. Set up is a must. Also, different guitars have different "sizes" of necks. In general Fender has a bigger neck than a Gibson. Unless the daughter has large hands I'd go with a smaller neck which is called short scale. There are also guitars with necks that are even smaller. These are called 3/4 (three quarter) guitars. I learned on a Fender Duosonic which is a 3/4. Loved that guitar. Daisey Rock makes "girl guitars" which are short scale and some are pretty nice, but you gotta spend a little more to get the ones that aren't essentially toys. 

    There are amps called "practice amps" which have some pre-recorded back ground music built in that helps the learning process. 

    Again, whatever you get, get it "set up." It will make all the difference. 

  11. Every blues harp player since Little Walter has spent his career trying to sound like Little Walter. None succeed. If I need a pick-me-up I put on "Juke" and the world is a better place. 

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