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Everything posted by Spaulding Smails
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So, we had a tale of two weekends at the ranch. Part 1 Got up to the ranch Saturday afternoon. Weather was perfect. Had a great hunt Saturday night with my son. Lots of deer, but no shooters. We're trying to put him on a cull buck at our place before we head to my uncle's ranch in South Texas. Got back to the cabin and enjoyed steaks and some good company with by BIL and my nephew around the campfire. Watched the stars and turned in at a decent hour. Another great hunt Sunday morning. Several doe and a small axis buck. My BIL had a big group of pigs come in to the stand just before shooting light. They bolted when the feeder went off, but he was able to knock down two perfect sows before they cleared the area. We got out of the stand early and processed the pigs. Had a breakfast beer and listened to Townes Van Zandt while we quartered them. Just a really nice morning. Part 2 My BIL had to head back at a decent hour to get my nephew to a birthday party. They left about 9:30. I wanted to push the timers back on the feeders a bit and I needed to clean up camp, so we stayed around. I have a new truck (maybe two weeks old... that part is important), and I turned it on, threw my phone on the charger and started loading up. I shut the drivers side door and went back to the house to grab our bags. Got back to the truck, and it was locked. You may say, "Spaulding, don't you have keyless entry?" And the answer is yes. BUT, Ford somehow neglected to put the card with the code in the owners manual. Going back to the dealership to get that code was on my to-do list this week. As was mounting a spare under the body. So, here I am. Truck running. Keys on the console. Phone on the console. I'm in the middle-of-nowhere Kimble County. I don't know the neighbors yet. Nobody else around. No phone at the cabin. Nada. Fuck. At least I have beer. So, I start to think. What do I have in my toolbox and in the shop? I find my dad's plastic speed square. And some felt pads we were using for the bottom of the furniture. And an electrician's fish tape. I'm in business. So, I'm able to wedge open the door using the speed square and the felt pads without scratching the paint just enough to get the fish tape in the cabin. This takes me about 25 minutes (that's an important piece of information). I'm dangling this fish tape around, trying to push the unlock button, the windows, the moon roof, the sliding window in the back. ANYTHING. I just can't get any leverage to press hard enough. The handles are reverse of an old style truck in that you push down instead of lifting up. As I'm reaching to try and open the moon roof, the fish tape is sort of bobbing in the middle of the cabin and somehow taps the screen in the middle of the dash. My favorites contact list was up on the screen and I managed to dial my business partner. He answers. I'm yelling at him through glass. He's confused and says he can barely hear me. I'm thinking "No shit. I'm outside of a running truck standing on a step stool." I tell him to call my wife to have her call my BIL to have him turn around and come back to the ranch. He hangs up, and thirty seconds later, the truck shuts off. There's an auto-idle shut-off that kicks in after 30 minutes if you don't put it in gear. So, now my phone is blowing up. My wife, my BIL, my business partner. And, of course, I can't answer it. I'm hoping my message got through, but I knew my BIL had to get home. I'm not sure if my wife would try to drive up and bring me the spare key, or if my dad would drive up, or if my BIL would turn around or if we were stuck. Since the truck is no longer running, I can't try to use the power windows to get it open. My only option is the unlock button... or the keys. After about 30 minutes, I'm finally able to grab the keys with the fish tape. All I have on the key ring is the truck keyless start (no actual truck key) and a Yeti bottle opener. Very carefully, I bring the fish tape back to the door with out falling. I start pulling them gently through the opening. I get the bottle opener through. I'm on cloud nine! I pull gently... and the key ring pulls apart. I have a bottle opener in hand, and the keys fall to the floor board next to the door. Fuck me. So, I try a myriad of other options. I try to grab the lock on the back door, try to access from the other side across the cabin. I just can't get any leverage with the fish tape. I can't push hard enough on anything to get it to open. It's 1:30 now. I've been at this for 3.5 hours. I'm mentally exhausted and getting frustrated. My son and his buddy are getting bored, but they've patiently stayed away. I figure we'll go for a walk and adjust the feeders and I can clear my head. The next options are to walk to the neighboring ranch to see if anyone is home. Option 2 is stay the night again and wait for my dad who's coming up Monday morning to meet the electrician. Option 3 is break a window. I write a little sign on a piece of cardboard and stick it on the back of the truck saying we're out for a walk. Just as we leave, I hear a truck pulling up. It's my BIL. With a locksmith right behind him. He gets us unlocked in less than 5 minutes. So, I guess all's well that ends well. We got home much later than anticipated. My nephew missed a birthday party. But, other than that, we just have a good story to tell.
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Time for another ‘my dog is awesome’ thread
Spaulding Smails replied to Patricio Swayze's topic in Daily Texan
Cross post in one of the hunting threads. This is Murphy. Murphy is my right hand man. Goes to work with me. Hunts with me. Plays with the kids. Watches the house. He's a good dude. He is also a bad ass. And a bird retrieving machine. -
I've refrained from chiming in on this thread for a while, but the dog thing struck a chord. I love to bird hunt. Dove, duck, goose, quail, pheasant. All of it. I absolutely prefer wild birds, but I also like to work my dog, and we'll buy a few dozen quail 2-3 time a year so he can work. Dove, duck and goose hunting lends more control to your dog, but the first time I took my dog quail hunting, I was a nervous wreck. Hell, I was afraid I'd do something stupid. I can't tell you how protective I am of my dog and how belligerent I am on gun safety with my son (at all times) and with my guests when my dog is around. There are no second chances when you pull the trigger. I won't let anyone shoot quail anywhere near my dog until I've had a chance to watch them. Regardless of the cost or the training, that's my best friend, dammit. I have no idea how I'd react if someone blasted my dog. Dude doesn't point, but is a flushing / retrieving machine. He's a great family dog, but flips the switch when the gun comes out of the safe. With my kids, it's all about repetition. I love the idea of the laser pointer. I'll ask them 20-30 times while we're hunting, "where is your barrel pointed." We check and re-check the chamber, we talk about crossing fences and climbing stands. Hell, we took my six year old daughter out to the ranch a few weeks ago. I laid down the laws to her the same way I did with my son at that age, and she was too freaked out to shoot the BB gun that afternoon.
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Cooking question: caramelizing onions
Spaulding Smails replied to Gil Bang's topic in Food and Travel
In a time crunch, I've used honey instead of sugar. Tends to give it a nice golden color much quicker. -
Surly official camping and backpacking thread
Spaulding Smails replied to Chuychanga's topic in Hobbies
This is awesome. You should start a new thread when you're ready so we can track / ridicule / judge / appreciate / applaud / be envious of you without getting side tracked on all of our other day trips. -
Friday party for my employees (approx 60) at the office: Shrimp boil to include taters, onions, cauliflower, artichoke hearts, mushrooms, sausage Sunday evening (first night of guests): Blackened redfish, shrimp & grits with andouille sausage, collard greens, homemade French bread and bread pudding with homemade ice cream and bourbon sauce Christmas Eve: Beef tenderloin, béarnaise sauce, mushrooms, asparagus, loaded mashed potatoes, rosemary bread with olive oil, and pumpkin cheesecake / chocolate pecan pie for dessert Christmas Morning: Homemade cinnamon buns and breakfast casserole Christmas Day: Beer-belly turkey on the smoker, venison sausage, pinto beans, German potato salad and cookie cake a la mode for dessert Needless to say, I need to up my run mileage to offset this pending caloric onslaught.
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Processed/packaged/canned foods you love
Spaulding Smails replied to Butch Had Not's topic in Food and Travel
Spam Buffalo Vienna Sausages Fritos spicy bean dip Chef Boyardee ravioli And, if we're going with just stuff that is pre-packaged, give me V&V smoked sausage all day long. -
May have to change plans this coming weekend. I was going to take my son out to our place to shoot a doe. We haven't had any bucks that I'm terribly excited about taking, but we're heavy on the doe side of the equation. We haven't done a formal survey yet, but the numbers seem to indicate that we need to thin out the female side of the equation. We finally got the A-frame set up, so we have a decent cleaning station as of last week. We had been holding off on shooting anything other than hogs for the simple fact that quartering a deer is infinitely easier when you have the right set up. My uncle called Sunday and invited my son and I down to his place. He said he's heavy on management bucks and needs to take a few out. May be this weekend or may be some time in January. Waiting for schedules to sync up. Regardless, one of these guys would make a great first buck for the boy.
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It certainly does. I opted for the F350 solely based on increased gooseneck towing capacity. We need a larger (heavier) dump trailer and I'm upgrading to a gooseneck flatbed so I can haul both our Bobcats on the same load. Price difference between F250 and F350 was relatively negligible and gave more versatility.
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@Anastasis I think that's just internal decay. Pretty common among Red Oaks. Half my Red Oaks have similar voids. Cue @cactusflinthead to either confirm my statement or tell me I'm full of shit.
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Thanks. My last truck was two tone as well. I really liked the light tan / dark tan combo, but my company logo has silver in it, so I wanted to do the same color combo. I know, I know. They've gotten stupid expensive. My BIL works at the dealership, so that took some of the sting out of it. We've bought six trucks from them this year, so I got a pretty decent deal on this one since it was my personal truck. Also, as a business owner, I needed to spend some money this year to avoid paying Uncle Sam too much. I had my last truck ('04 F150) for 11 years. Finally traded it in on this one with 242K miles on the odometer. I tend to keep vehicles for a long time, so I justified it to myself by that type of ROI. Quite a bit. And a lot of it is heavy. We have another F350 flat-bed dually and we just picked up an F450 flat-bed dually last week as well. We tow heavy dump trailers, equipment, etc. I need to be able to move them around as well. Looking to add a gooseneck dump trailer next year along with a gooseneck flat-bed dovetail that we can haul our Bobcats with. I'll get my money's worth out of this one, and the tow / haul capability is why I went with the one ton.
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Finally picked up the new truck. Took a month longer than anticipated from Ford. Headed next week for headache rack and tool box. Possibly a brush guard. Trying to figure out if I want to do a leveling kit and bigger shoes now or wait a bit. Decisions, decisions.
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Uncle Rico can't even throw the ball 80 yards, you dumbass...
Spaulding Smails replied to a topic in Lulz
So, I decided to put my arm to the test over Thanksgiving weekend. Went to the local HS a few miles from my parents' house. Hopped the fence with my son and we threw the ball around. 43 yards was the best I could muster. With a college ball. Also, 43 yards looks like nothing when watching on TV but feels like the deck of an aircraft carrier when you're at ground level trying to heave a ball. -
Official 2018 bitch about family/holiday drama thread
Spaulding Smails replied to GhostOfTomJoad's topic in Lulz
I always felt like I'd have nothing to contribute to this thread. My FIL and BIL can be lazy and entitled, but for the most part, they're harmless. My MIL is great and a huge help with my kids. We get along really well with my side of the family which is where we spent Thanksgiving this year. My parents and my only sister live in New Braunfels. My sister's husband is a good dude. He can be a bit loud and obnoxious, but takes good care of my sister and their kids. They NEVER spend time with his family, and my sister is always pretty quiet about them. I met them at their wedding 10 years ago, but have only seen them a few times since then. Well, he finally opened up to me this week. My nephew came down with a nasty stomach bug, so they took turns at home with him. He's had digestive issues since birth, so he actually spent Wednesday night in the ER. My sister came over for Thanksgiving, then went home to relieve my BIL so he could come see the family and eat. He explained to me that his dad is giving him a hard time because he's getting married Saturday (7th wedding, 6th wife), and he told him he wasn't coming to the wedding because his son was sick. His dad told him, "Kids get sick. I'm not sure why that means you can't be there to support me." Support a 65 year old man getting married for the seventh time. BIL then proceeds to tell me that his 89 year old grandfather called him that morning to tell him that he found his mom passed out in her own vomit / shit / piss because she borderline OD'd on pain meds. That's after my BIL gave her $1,000 earlier in the week b/c she "fell while walking the dog, sprained her ankle, had to miss work and didn't have enough money for her bills" which means she took the cash to get fucked up like Elvis. He felt so guilty for enabling her and felt bad for his elderly grandfather dealing with that alone. He said he offered to drive to Houston to help, but his grandfather had it under control by then. Sounds like best case scenario is he foots the bill for rehab. Worst case scenario is... worse. I completely understand why he: A) enjoys spending time with our family B) doesn't talk about his family -
FIFY. “Hey, put on your keep your stripper outfit on when you get home from work, we’re going to go out and take some pictures with the Ferrari and poor lighting.” Again, not that there's anything wrong with that. My only objection is homeboy's shoe choice.
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Absolutely. Definitely in the playbook. I have yet to see one with a rifle in hand, but I plan to whack the first decent axis buck or mature doe that I see. I've heard they love alfalfa, so I'm taking a few bales out there next week to put near one of our stands.
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Uncle Rico can't even throw the ball 80 yards, you dumbass...
Spaulding Smails replied to a topic in Lulz
My previous employer had our corporate meeting in Indianapolis six years ago. One evening, they rented out the RCA dome and we got to go onto the field to screw around. It was pretty sweet. They had NFL balls out there, and of course, dudes were trying to kick field goals. Of the 500 or so employees, I think I saw two guys kick anything over 30 yds. I didn't even try. Again, a bunch of old, out-of-shape fuckers. -
Agreed. He's actually an 11. There's a little kicker on his left G2. I'm far from an expert, but I aged him at 3-1/2. Even on the game cams, I haven't seen anything better than that and I haven't noticed any older deer either. The biggest axis I saw was actually dead on the side of the road about 100 yds past our gate this spring. There's a few passing through there, but haven't seen any trophies on that front either. We have a fair amount of pigs, and they've been fun for the kids to shoot this fall. We just bought the place in January. Low fence west of Junction. So, I'm not banking on any B&C quality deer, but it will be awesome to try to manage them in the coming years to see what we can get. I'd be ecstatic with a decent 5-1/2 YO 10 pointer every couple of years for my son or daughter to shoot. We fed protein April - August and will do so a bit earlier in the coming years. Also hoping to get a food plot down next year or the year after. It's just fun to get out there. Good deer would be icing on the cake.
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Pulled the SD cards in the game cameras for the first time two weeks ago. Seeming some good activity, but no shooter whitetails. Been so busy working (at home and at the ranch) to spend much time hunting. Hoping that changes over the holidays.
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Uncle Rico can't even throw the ball 80 yards, you dumbass...
Spaulding Smails replied to a topic in Lulz
My oldest is 10, so I'm still a few years away from that, but I can certainly see it gaining on me in the rearview mirror. I was throwing BP to him a few weeks ago at the ball field. We were the only ones there, so I didn't bother with the L screen. I damn near took one in the chops. So glad I had my glove on. I've always felt fine throwing from the mound and having enough time to react, but he's just hitting the ball too hard now. At least he's as slow as I was, so I have a few more years before he can out run me. -
Uncle Rico can't even throw the ball 80 yards, you dumbass...
Spaulding Smails replied to a topic in Lulz
You really have no idea how much your athletic abilities have regressed as you age until you see it in cold, hard numbers. I played HS baseball. Topped out in the low 80s as a lefty. Fast forward 20 years. I started playing in a sandlot baseball league here in Austin. So much fun. Way better than softball. And it scratched my itch to pitch again. But way more relaxed than the competitive men's league in Austin. I've been playing the last two summers, and my arm feels good. Really good. I seriously thought in my head that I was back touching 80 with my fastball (thank God I never said that to anyone else). WRONG. Got in front of a radar gun and struggled to hit 70. Very humbling. Knowing that cold hard truth, I doubt I could throw an NCAA football 50 yds at this point in life let alone a NFL football. Where's the Nerf Turbo when you need it??? -
Just over 1" in the gauge this morning out in the Drip. Low water crossing was dry for the first time in over a month yesterday afternoon. Back to 6-8" over the road again this morning.
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Headed to Northern Minnesota next week for a four-day work trip. High for the duration of the trip is forecasted at 25. My employees are freaking out and acting like we're going to Antarctica for a month. I reassured them our meetings are not outdoors and they'll be just fine.
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If you don't mind driving back westward when it's ready, check out Granzin's in New Braunfels. Been my go-to for the last 20+ years. Dried smoked sausage is like crack. If I have enough meat, I'll usually get 20 lb dried smoked sausage (60/40 hot), 20 lb smoked link sausage (50/50 hot), 20 lb pan sausage (50/05 hot), and the rest hamburger (50/50). Take the straps out in the field (unless you're going to cape it). And swing by Dripping Springs on your way to give me the tenders so I can properly dispose of those for you.
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Bama Fan Dies After Saturdy Night Barfight
Spaulding Smails replied to Vic Mackey's topic in Daily Texan
I believe it's called the, "I have a fat neck I'm trying to hide" beard.
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