I'd echo @TwiceHorn in that it wouldn't be a bad idea for you to seek some help. I know how overwhelming that first step can be so please don't hesitate to PM anyone here if we can help point you in the right direction.
It might sound cheesy or soft but I'd also add that raising your hand for help isn't a sign of weakness or that you're broken.
Just from what you mentioned with your dad and sister it is apparent you've been through some pretty heavy trauma and there is probably a lot to unpack. If anything, it is normal / expected for you to feel shitty after having to go through those things. I personally went through similar things and I know that if left untreated or unaddressed, especially over long periods of time, those shitty experiences can really snowball into a heavy burden that you have to carry. The good news is that it absolutely can get better and that there are several ways to make that burden lighter.
Hang in there.