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C-Man

Burnt Ends
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  1. https://variety.com/2024/film/news/megalopolis-craziest-moments-francis-ford-coppola-1236006842/

    WARNING -- the below includes spoilers.

    Quote

    SPOILER ALERT: This story contains spoilers for Francis Ford Coppola‘s “Megalopolis,” which premiered at Cannes Film Festival on May 16.

    The wait is over: Francis Ford Coppola’s sci-fi drama “Megalopolis” has finally premiered at Cannes Film Festival, shocking and dividing critics.

    The film, a $120 million epic starring Adam Driver, Aubrey Plaza, Giancarlo Esposito and Shia LaBeouf, was financed by Coppola himself — and has yet to secure a distributor in the United States. Regardless, the movie earned a 7-minute standing ovation from Cannes, as Coppola hugged Driver and Esposito and delivered an emotional speech dedicating the film to hope and family.

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    Variety chief film critic Peter Debruge wrote in his review that the film “is positively awe-inspiring in some places and an absolute eyesore in others, until you pull back and try to take it all in.” Though reactions have been mixed, the film was undoubtedly jam-packed with scenes that ranged from visionary to just plain puzzling.

    Popular on Variety

    02:41

    09:46

    Below, read about the five craziest moments in “Megalopolis.”

    MAGA LaBeouf

    In “Megalopolis,” LaBeouf plays Clodio Crassus, the enfant terrible of a banking dynasty — one who sleeps with his relatives, galvanizes the 99% with fear and takes pride in his superficiality. Imagine young Connor Roy with a rattail and Kendall’s love of drugs. In the end, the rebellious poor population of Coppola’s fictional city expose him for the false god he is. Literally strung up by his toes in his final moments on screen, an angry mob pelts him with anything they can find. The last object hits him in the gut. It’s a red baseball cap which reads “Make America Great Again.”

    City of Sisterly Love

    For some reason, the children of bank overlord Hamilton Crassus III (Jon Voight) have a penchant for incest. LaBeouf’s Clodio and his sisters, one of whom is played by Chloe Fineman, allude to having sexual relations with each other and even demonstrate some of this during their father’s wild circus-themed wedding to Wow Platinum (Aubrey Plaza). How this serves the plot remains unclear.

    Sexy Auntie Wow

    After Wow marries into the Crassus fortune, she makes it her goal to take over the bank and give it to her true love, Driver’s Cesar. But in order to do that, she seduces LaBeouf’s Clodio, insisting he call her “Auntie Wow” as they do the deed. This leads into a several minute scene in which Clodio performs cunnilingus on Auntie Wow as she cuts off his rattail. Romantic!

    Virgin Suicide

    Coppola grounds his mind-numbing plot with something any American relate to — a monolithic pop girlie. Viral “America’s Got Talent” winner Grace VanderWaal, who won that competition with sweet ukulele songs at age 12, plays Vesta Sweetwater. A culture-dominating singer who also plucks a small string instrument, this character is all grown up and has an insidious gimmick: she’s a virgin saving herself for marriage, and the nation gets behind her purity. Funny, because that’s the name of the hit single she performs at the “Megalopolis” version of ancient Rome’s Colosseum. The rich donate hundreds of millions on the spot to “help support her pledge.” Except after her performance of “Purity,” LaBeouf’s character arranges the broadcast of a deepfake sex tape starring VanderWaal and Driver’s character. She is shamed and ripped off stage as Driver’s character is arrested for statutory rape. Not the best era in her career.

    Hard Times for Jon Voight

    Variety previously reported that one of the most jaw-dropping moments at an early buyers screening was a scene involving Voight, Plaza, LaBeouf and a hospital bed erection. We can confidently report the same was true for the Cannes premiere. Clad in a leopard blanket, Voight indeed shows off what looks to be an unseemly “boner,” in his own words. It’s revealed to be a miniature bow and arrow, which has fatal consequences for one of his scene partners. The other gets an arrow in each ass cheek: Beware the side effects of Viagra in the Coppola Cinematic Universe.  

    • Drool 1
  2. 40 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

     

     

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    Perfectly normal response in situations like this to then fly the American Flag upside down, right?

    • Hook 'Em 3
  3. 1 hour ago, dcar00 said:

    I love the comment in the report about DETECTIVE Gillis being in "full LMPD protective rain jacket".

    Trying to put lipstick on a pig. This was a bullshit situation all the way around and gross over-reaction by the arresting cop(s).

  4. 1 hour ago, Macklemore said:

    In your haste to dunk on Elon, I guess you glossed over the following:

    “Technology products almost always improve over time; Arbaugh had talked with Bain about how he would be receiving what was probably the worst Neuralink implant that anyone would get. But Arbaugh had agreed to the trial precisely because these types of issues could occur. He wanted to be a means for helping other people by aiding Neuralink in its quest to root out any of the implant’s flaws. Still, that didn’t make the loss of his newfound abilities any less painful.”

    “Neuralink set to work trying to see what it could do to fix the issues. Its software engineers tweaked the algorithms that record data from Arbaugh’s neurons and made changes to the way that data gets analyzed and transferred to his computer. Arbaugh is now back to setting records.”

    The kid’s a fucking hero in my book and has more balls than any of us for willing to be a guinea pig to advance spinal cord research.

    Um, not sure my initial post was an attempt to "dunk on Elon." I mean of course he's setting records -- nobody else has done this yet. I still think Elon and Neuralink is probably acting reckless as hell but what really did Arbaugh have to lose? I guess Elon could lobotomize him or something.

    • Like 1
  5. First human to have Elon's Neuralink installed is, you guessed it, aggy.

    All jokes aside (and there's some low-hanging fruit in this article), this is an interesting read. The subject is 30 and a quadriplegic due to a lake accident while serving as a kids' camp counselor. Apparently, the thing "worked" great for a month after being implanted in January but isn't performing nearly as well now. A bit shocking for an Elon product, no? 

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2024-05-16/neuralink-s-first-patient-describes-living-with-brain-implant?accessToken=eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJzb3VyY2UiOiJTdWJzY3JpYmVyR2lmdGVkQXJ0aWNsZSIsImlhdCI6MTcxNTg1NzgxNSwiZXhwIjoxNzE2NDYyNjE1LCJhcnRpY2xlSWQiOiJTREtSV01UMEFGQjQwMCIsImJjb25uZWN0SWQiOiI5MTM4NzMzNDcyQkY0QjlGQTg0OTI3QTVBRjY1QzBCRiJ9.nW2vqsd38x6-nHJMMj-ZzTwKvPWoy6nDuKFl3ZsbTz0

  6. 7 hours ago, BigDHornfan said:

    Colorado busted their nut last night.  We dominate tomorrow night.

    I tend to agree.

     

    23 minutes ago, Longhorn_Fan68 said:

    yup, and even said they were surprised we didn't close it out. they've bought in. so has Messier

    Messier was all over praising the Stars after Game 4. It was clear he thought the Stars were the best team still playing after the G4 win.

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