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Everything posted by closetojumping
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@Mrs Whiggins @BurntOrange&White is a lunkhead, but he asked the right question about T&F, of course in the wrong forum on the wrong thread. Still, how does the T&F program get competitive again at Texas and how far behind, really, is Texas from the upper tier? How wide of a gap?
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Transfer Cycle 2025-2026 - Full Roster Weaponization
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
We'll obviously discuss this more later in the offseason, but the hyping of LSU for 2025 appears comical. On offense, they're replacing all but one OL. They didn't win big last year with a veteran OL that included 4! draft picks last month. They couldn't run the ball well with that group but surely that's gettig fixed now with underclassmen who have never played, right? They also lost their starting TE, and his blocking, in the second round. They return an overrated QB in Nussmeier. He's going to pitched by the national media as a Heisman candidate and proclaimed QB1 or QB2 in the 2026 draft without, apparently, most of the people doing it having watched this guy or his film. They will certainly have a strong WR corps including Barion Brown and Nic Anderson to go with Aaron Anderson and Zavion Thomas. The TE spot is fucking terrible. They took Bauer Sharp and Donovan Green in the portal and people actually lauded those takes. Durham is an excellent RB1. Offensively, they should be able to put up points, but there will be growing pains with 3 RS Sophomores and 2 RS Freshmen on the OL and a noob at TE as well. On defense, both Edges are gone to the draft, and they replaced one of them with the renowned loser, Patrick Peyton from FSU. Once crowned part of the greatest DL in the entire country by Thamel and other idiots ahead of 2024, if that guy was worth a shit, he'd have left for the draft. On the other side is Pyburn from Florida and he's decent. They're relying on a soft as pudding Dominick McKinley and a butterball whiny bitch trending towards 450 pounds in Sydir Mitchell at DT. Their DT situation is laughably bad. Strong work by Bo Davis there. Then you have Harold "I'm pretty good against Arkansas" Perkins Jr coming off of an ACL injury and being honked about again as some sort of wizard. The guy had 16 tackles, 0 sacks, 0 FFs, O INTs last season in 4 games before injury. He was really making his presence felt. Next to him is Weeks, coming off a fractured lower leg himself. They return most of their secondary, which I am not sure is a good thing. They added the UH Safety, maybe he helps. The LSU defense of 2024 was plain as grits. They didn't get a ton of pressure, they didn't stop the run well, they didn't stop the pass well, they didn't get a bunch of turnovers and they sucked in the red zone. But suddenly this season, they're going to be awesome and the SEC is shaking in its boots. Right. Regarding the schedule, they go: -@ Clemson 8/30 -La Tech 9/6 -Florida 9/13 -FCS 9/20 -@Ole Miss 9/27 off -SCar 10/11 -@ Vandy 10/18 -ATM 10/25 off -@ Bama 11/8 -Arkansas 11/15 -WKU 11/22 -@ OU 11/29 It's pretty easy to consider that depth chart, the lack of experience, and that schedule and see a ceiling of 9-3. GTFO on them as a playoff team in 2025, especially with Brian Kelly running things. Anyone talking about LSU being better than 9-3 or a playoff either hasn't critically reviewed the team at all, or they're inherently in the tank for LSU in the first place.- 194 replies
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This shit pisses me off. Saban is hailed as some sort of friendly grandpa who only wants what's good for the sport, yet we all know, with certainty, that the fucking guy was one of the biggest players in the competitively limited bag game. When he could no longer buy the best players and then stash them without mobility on his roster, he fucking quit. Fuck this shit. I hate this move from Trump and hate who he has involved. JFC.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2026: They Can't Keep Getting Away With This
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
None of us should feel good at this point. Nothing is complete or certain, either. -
Correct. Sharp exposed bone, group attacks aiming for the eyes and leg muscles, the silverback goes down eventually. If it were 100 posters from this board, I assume the dumbest gasbags go first. When the gorilla shreds spider2ybanana limb from limb and you all shriek in horror, I'm sprinting for that dude's exposed femur and then whittling that thing to a fine point while we send wave after wave of BO&W, Steamboat, futureman, and numerous other dipshits in as tiring fodder. Then we riot. I'd ride in on @SydneyCarton's shoulders in sort of a Master Blaster Thunderdome approach.
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Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
It's paywalled. Any shot you can c&p the content? -
He averaged 7.9 ypc, your mods hinted at him being reluctant to return to the field throughout all of October and most of November, and he had a long of 20 yards on the season. Prior to the season, from the spring of 2024, through magazine write-ups in June, through media days, and then through scoring his only 3 tds against an absolutely shitty Temple team, your talking heads and coaching staff told anyone and everyone how fucking great he was. What a steal he was! What was Purdue doing letting him get away!! Then? He got hurt against Tennessee and had to be begged back onto the field. Once injured again, he was done and talking of transferring. Your idiots running things with NIL overpaid to keep him. He's a pedestrian slot WR who can't handle the physicality of the SEC. He'll be an afterthought riding a bike by the Texas/OU game.
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Is Troy Tulowizki summering in Warsaw or some shit? These guys have been looking completely inept at the plate.
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And that has absolutely nothing to do with the Texas 2025 offseason. Nothing.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Yeah, we never mention Penn State's child rape scandal around here. That's a really poignant call out for the need for your unfunny shit up above. Also, quick quips that hit often enough are your forte. Sometimes they don't land, oh well. It's smart to stick with those, though. That cheap rhetorical shit insinuating that you've got some moral high ground and that I was cool with what went down at Sandusky U can go get yourself fucked. Or, fuck it, flesh it all out if you want and we can see how it turns out for each of us. -
Offense, and this one is hilarious: -They raided FCS to fill spots and now the writers are having to sound upbeat about it. They also brought in JAGs from various G5 schools. All the while, they had many OLs miss most or all of the spring, shortly after sucking hind tit all fall. -They're going to be starting a dude from Pittsburg State at TE. They whiffed on every big name they went after and they are straight up fucked here. -They're not willing to say it, but word is that Jaydon Gibson has left the program and might be hurt again. Javonnie Gibson, their super-hype spring candidate from UAPB, is likely out for the season after shattering his leg in some manner but Venables won't confirm or deny that. So now, they're hyping Deion Burks again, after his shit himself in SEC play and quit the team via "soft tissue injury". -Jadyn Ott's 2023 season is all anyone needs to look at for the standard. Never mind 2024. -Mateer was the balls at Washington State, so he's going to be far better than the 5 star they just ran off at QB. -The OL had two starters miss the whole spring.
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I'm going to post some depth chart articles in the next few posts from the Sooners Illustrated board. Highlights below and then spoilers after that. This one is defense: -They will be good to great on the front four. R Mason Thomas is too widely celebrated in my opinion, but he's a good player who will be drafted. They make him sound like a worldbeater, but he was neutralized or disappeared in a number of games. He played in 12 games last year, gaining 5 sacks between Tulane and Auburn, and 4.5 in the other 10 games. Not great, not bad. However, in 6 games, dude had 6 tackles total, with a .5 sack. Vanished. Damonic Williams/Jayden Jackson are a good DT pair and then they have bust central at the other Edge spot. -LB looks like hot garbage. I don't think a single LB on their roster plays at Texas and that includes the McKenzie dildo that was once committed to Texas. -Peyton Bowen missed the spring after a shitty 2024. His brother might end up being a really good CB, but he missed much of the spring too. -The other S and CB spots are middling or worse. -There's a running theme here where tons of the key guys on the OU roster missed all or parts of the spring because they were physically wrecked. Jerry Schmidt and Brent Venables thinks every single one of those guys sitting out are pussies and they're going to pay for it this summer and in fall camp.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
HAHAHAHAHA!!! You just made a child rape joke!!!! Outstanding. Hilarious. -
Transfer Cycle 2024-2025 - Stop Being Poor
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
Darius Terrell's connections to this football program are so tenuous that the premise of him having any sort of scoop is simply laughable. Is there a waterboy still working inside the AD from Terrell's time on campus 15 years ago? Who else? GTFO.- 8997 replies
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Boy, now I remember why I have the steamboat guy on ignore. He doesn’t seem to have a firm grip of the English language and, worse, is on here poopooing Ricky Williams and Vince Young, the best players in the sport during each of their tenures. No one gives a fuck if chronic wifebeater Jim Brown was also awesome. That shit is known. Beyond that, the other old guy shows up to stan for Eric Dickerson, a cheating piece of shit who continued his piece of shittery into the NFL and beyond. And … and the fucking guy has nothing to do with Texas, much less the fucking offseason. This thread has taken a really dumb fucking turn here.
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Correct. If House doesn’t pass, it’s safe to assume that many programs will not make payroll unless emergency funds flow in.
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They cannot wait to sprint onto here, quote one idiot or two lamenting something about Manning, and claim that “Texas ZOMG are such stupidz!?!!” The media will do the same shit with zero perspective, just quoting some of the dumbest Texas Twitter clowns they can find. Just a simple Ohio State loss and we’ll hear “there’s trouble brewing down in Austin” etc.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2026: They Can't Keep Getting Away With This
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
How is it funny? -
I faced Rupe in a non-district game in HS. Dude threw gas.
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Excuse you, sir? If a thoughtful pair of parents want to name their son after a legend with a career OPS of .828 and a leader of the breakers of Babe Ruth’s curse, who are we to question that?
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
closetojumping replied to texifornia's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
@SydneyCarton and I had the luck of playing a round of 18 yesterday with a true member of Old Army. We have a buddy, who is a 2%er if there ever was one, that we play with once every 6-8 weeks. We were short a 4th yesterday and he brought along an old boss of his that is also now his friend. So we started the day with redass older dude seeing my longhorn hat and SC’s longhorn polo and the old hits started early when he started talking shit to us about the 9-0 loss the night before in baseball to Arkansas. Living vicariously through other teams? Check. “We just swept y’all and you’re talking shit?” He tells us we barely won and they’d have won at home or neutral. Minimizing Texas achievements while claiming hypothetical wins? Check and check. Gems from the rest of the day: -“Marcel Reed is special” -“Klein knows football. “ -“Elko is going to get it done.” -“Wish we were gifted the schedule you guys had last year and yours this year. “ -“The OLine is going to carry us. “ I know I missed several. It was hard to keep up. The screenshots from this thread were jumping off of the Internet and into our real life and it was surreal. It helped that we kept baiting him with softball after softball. -
We don’t all have to love the same movies, gramps.
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Transfer Cycle 2025-2026 - Full Roster Weaponization
closetojumping replied to closetojumping's topic in 🤫$9.95🤫
That’s just IT people huffing their own farts. Not the guy. -
I don't give a shit about Twitter - the business. What I care about, and I think others the same, is the ability to click through, or see the whole post, or see old embeds when looking at something from the past, all of that. Just seeing links and no image, or an incomplete image or one that doesn't click through when looking for more, I feel like all of these thing happen now, along with dead image space on old pages.
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