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closetojumping

Burnt Ends
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Everything posted by closetojumping

  1. Which is more obvious and simple to anyone but a mouthbreathing rube: a) recruit is told that they have a limited time to lock in a spot with the team they want to play for, so they move up their timeline and commit or b) schools are paying guys not to visit Texas A&M and their juggernauted sleeping giant fucklion of a program out of fear of A&M’s rise? Also, ATM is one of the only schools still actively dropping bags when they get a chance to do it. They did it with Sanders and Sims last cycle at DT. Every single fucking time these clowns accuse other programs of something nefarious, they should be pointing their sausage fingers back at themselves.
  2. Why are you squashing our excitement with your logic?
  3. Hope you stick with it. Posting’s a source. Change your life. Swear to God.
  4. I was at the game. So, no shit? That does nothing to invalidate the point.
  5. I guess I am a little surprised. You know they don’t like to go to a location hosting Big Noon and the game being played on Fox at noon. It’s not like the weekend is bereft of other big games. That said, I’m all for it.
  6. Is Flores the most overrated player in recent UT baseball history? He’s slow, chokes, and looked like an idiot at the plate for what feels like the entire second half of the season. Please go pro.
  7. BTW, am I the only person who read the update from Wulaw about Danny Devito being his biological father and thought “well, of course.”?
  8. I got Nolan’s autograph once before a local HS baseball game we played against one of his sons. I then hit a bomb off of his kid and fervently hid away the autograph deep in my bat bag for fear that he’d demand it back as an act of vengeance. Not sure which of the kids it was, but I like to think it was the one who was later president of the Astros and eventually fired for insolence.
  9. We’re going here now? I served Lady Bird multiple times at Pappasito’s and Earl and his wife once as well. Lady Bird was a regular and her SS guys were very nice.
  10. When I am interested in role playing, I usually just text your wife.
  11. Mary Hardin-Baylor has won 3 national titles in football in the last decade.
  12. I think I am going to start making up my own write-ups with a ton of negative shit about the team and players to balance out the koolaid. Not all of that shit can be true, can it? “Things are coming unhinged in the running back room. I can’t name names, but one of the backups tried to buttfuck Wisner in public in an effort to assert dominance. An unnamed transfer LB hasn’t been able to practice due to community service requirements after being found guilty this spring of acts of moral turpitude. Trey Owens has taken to mocking Steve Sarkisian’s play calls from the 2024 season during film reviews. Calling him ‘Sideways Steve’ for his view on playcalls inside the red zone, Owens is finding the likelihood of being the #2 for 2025 getting slimmer and slimmer by the day. Travis Shaw is likely to be out early in the season after suffering complications during liposuction surgery. “ Shit like that.
  13. I used to frequent the Texas Chili Parlor while in town on business. Interesting folks working and hanging out there. Not sure I met Zoob, but I found interactions with folks there to be “creative”, I guess. Anyway, that all came to an end when my hotel, the DoubleTree on 15th, allowed a drug dealer to enter their valet area and steal my car at 4am one night. Strong work, guys.
  14. The tandem of Kohen Brown and Parker Livingstone will form the greatest WR tandem at Texas since Brock Fitzhenry and Greg Timmons were crushing it together some 15+ years ago. Hell. Yes.
  15. In the dead of night, my mother gave my father’s used 1983 Ford LTD to my older brother. He drove to Austin in it and went to Texas. My father was furious for the next 4 years. My brother came back to town to attend medical school and gave the car back to my father since he’d bought a used Corolla. That LTD personified Haggard’s lamentation about a Ford and a Chevy no longer lasting 10 years like they should. The fuel gauge didn’t work, the upholstery was hanging down and had to be put behind your head to see, the radio was broken, no A/C, and rolling the windows down meant you’d be driving through rain, sleet or snow right in your face, because they weren’t coming back up without an act of God intervening. Bald tires, like really bald, and, the chef’s kiss, the paint would come off on clothes or hands if you touched the outside of the vehicle. For whatever reason, my father decided we needed to take it to Earl Scheib. Forget not having an A/C in Houston summers or us having to push the vehicle through intersections when it ran out of gas randomly. No, this thing needed a new $50 paint job. Earl Scheib’s people refused us service. After that, my father drove it to the plant for work until the car literally lost a major part of its engine pulling into our parking space. The Red Sled sat in that spot until it was towed away, years after my parents moved out of the complex. RIP Red Sled.
  16. That kills me every time I see it. Radical Larry is clearly the star here, but I’ve always loved the Dirk write up.
  17. Remember in next year’s thread when “does it matter how many pitches a pitcher throws in softball?” comes up that, yes, it actually does eventually fucking matter.
  18. I am going to post a reverse jinx for every team before their season from here forward.
  19. Am I the only person that read this post a couple of times and then went and looked at BO&W’s profile? I assumed this little guy was perpetually hanging by a thread from being crowdsourced. That dude has 47k+ rep points? Wow.
  20. When they talk about Elko being something other than possibly above average, it’s usually based on the superficial review of his record for two years at Duke. If folks dug deeper on that performance, they’d see that Duke beat like one team with a winning record each season. His performance last season was dogshit. They started out ranked and climbed over time against a bunch of dogshit opponents and then fell apart and finished unranked. The analytics supported mediocre results. They underperformed expectations. Their roster this year is worse. No one besides our board is giving it a critical review. The national idiots just do what they always do - talk about ATM realistically directly after the season and then let Liucci and the rest of the ATM clowns hype the program into preseason rankings.
  21. You know that NIL has become completely unhinged when this fucking guy is making it rain.
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