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closetojumping

Burnt Ends
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Everything posted by closetojumping

  1. I don't see any "tell me about MSU" type of threads, but I have some unpleasant thoughts to put out into the ether. I've also spoilered some content that gets more voluminous on the banality of Mississippi State as an institution for tl;dr imbeciles. Mississippi State is perhaps the most boring brand in the entirety of major college athletics. Someone lamented on the game week thread that "no one is excited for this game". I doubt I'm the only person who read that and thought, "who in the fuck gets excited to play Mississippi State?" Even if they were good, who would be excited to play MSU? "Dude, we've got Mississippi State this week!" Right. Does Ole Miss get excited to play them? Alabama? I guess, having watched 20+ Egg Bowls, I can agree that Ole Miss actually gives a shit but that's about it. This is a brand and school that is as plain as grits and as competitive as a hippie commune. Starkville is as appealing as a destination as visiting a tire-making factory. I've tried thinking about who else rivals the Mississippi State melancholy as an opponent for anyone out there. Who can do it? -Baylor? They are in Waco. But they've managed to institutionalize rape and murder cover-up. They have better colors, also. They're not completely boring. -Indiana? Bloomington is supposed to be a great place to visit and they used to be a blue blood in men's basketball. Way better academically as well. -Iowa State? A case can be made here. They're marginally better academically. Their colors and uniforms are better and they've had some hot meme girls. I don't know anything about Ames. I don't know, maybe ISU is an analog. -Wake Forest? They've been good before in other sports and Winston-Salem is a great town with some history. Way better academically as well. -The best candidate is probably Texas Tech. The only thing saving Lubbock from being as shitty as Starkville is the fact that Lubbock is at least inside the state of Texas. Tech's academic ranking is just 10 rungs up above MSU's, coming in at 198 in the US News & World Report rankings. Also, Tech is about as futile as MSU when it comes to athletic performance. Maybe Tech really is an analog, and Texas just traded one shitty conference affiliate for another. P4-wise, I am not sure who else could objectively be considered on par with being as moribund as Mississippi State, but I'm interested in other suggestions. This is a really boring, uninspiring pack of mouthbreathing gypsies with whom Texas has moored itself. It's grim. Mississippi State's academics are on par with a third world country's. As pathetic as Mississippi State's academics are, their historical athletic performance might be worse than the academics.
  2. Excited? No. I doubt I could be excited to be playing a shitty Mississippi State team in any universe. I don't think I could be excited to be playing a great Mississippi State team in any universe, either, if I'm being totally honest. I find that school and program to be abysmally boring. They're the SEC version of Iowa State or Indiana or Wake Forest. Indiana is great this year and who is excited to play them? Mississippi State probably would be, I bet. I am, however, anxiously looking forward to the game, for the reasoning you mentioned. There is nothing better than CFB season. I watched Teh Major get win #2 for the year last night against a Georgia State team that is now 1-7. A clash of 1-6 teams, and it was a great game to watch, especially while drinking homemade rye Manhattans.
  3. I know you huffed too much spray paint as a child to likely fathom this, but what the hell - I didn't call for your negging. I'm not a moderator and I don't mind if someone, even you, liked some idea of mine and made something out of it. I didn't even neg you, doofus. You could have attributed the source, at least, but my expectations of what you're capable of are so low that I can't even be annoyed about that. I'm just kind of amazed you figured out how to start your own thread.
  4. Helobious is the human version of the 2025 Texas Longhorn Offense.
  5. Hahahaha. @Lerka Lerka here is an example of someone putting in way too much effort. This dude's original post was one sentence long. He apparently went back and looked through posts of mine in order to find subjects he could attempt to poke holes. He edited his post 30+ minutes later. And BO&W, the "we all remember" notion is comical coming from you, given that your use of the royal "we" on this board implies that you're working within some sort of peer set. I thought one of the central tenets of being an incel was always approaching circumstances as an outsider and living without alliances?
  6. What I wrote took virtually no effort. I'm usually posting to avoid actual effort in some form. "nattering nabobs of negativity" is a famous line from Spiro Agnew from when, I believe, he was being pressured to resign from the vice presidency during the Nixon regime. Again, I'm guessing that took no real effort. If you want effort, we should have a real alliteration or metaphor contest as it relates to this season and our varying levels of despondence.
  7. There are plenty of examples of guys who were valued for their work as OCs or DCs who eventually gave up the playcalling role as an HC. Saban, Drinkwitz and Mack Brown are easy examples to recall either due to proximity or recency. There are many examples of guys who refused to drop being a playcaller and it cost them their jobs. Will Muschamp and Billy Napier are easy examples for this board. Now, name the guys who called plays and won national titles, real quick. Spurrier is one. Who else? Sir Edward Beauregard Orgeron, Esq., certainly didn't. Meyer? Nope. Smart? Nope. Swinney? Nope. Carroll? Stoops? Nope. I guess Jimbo Fisher, somewhat hilariously, is another. Point is, you can find one about every dozen years or so who did it. The rest of the guys dating back to the early 90's were all very involved with their sides of the ball, but they recognized what needed to happen in order for them to truly win. There is a boneyard full of HC tenures in which the guy couldn't let go of his shiny object and cost himself, his program, his players, and the program's fans a shot at greatness. It's just selfishness. We've already pointed out that the results for Sarkisian are visibly short of elite and the trend is decidedly negative, and the sample size is not small. His case for continuing down this path is paper thin.
  8. We've all noted your fatalistic certitude, as you've been spraying this board and the recruiting forum with it, one shitty post after another. Do the rest of us a favor and work on some new material or shut the fuck up. You're trending towards being a spammer with your whiny bemoaning and it's adding zero value to each thread.
  9. Sarkisian as a CEO has been close to elite. That cannot be said for his performance, ever, as an OC while also the HC. Sorry. You cannot find data and cite it to support a counter to the notion that the OC role is not a strength for Sarkisian while also head coaching. As to the rest, a lot of you guys are chiming in about how this will be handled before the season outcome is even known. If Texas somehow goes 9-3, no one here has a fucking clue what will or won’t be done in public or private. 5-7 to 7-5, sure. Above that, we have no idea. I want Sarkisian to work out and win titles at Texas and I think he can, which isn’t how I saw the hire on 1/2/21. That said, I feel like him failing ahead of 2028 is a reasonable hedge to my outlook, based on what I’ve seen this year. If you’re taking bets from anyone, I’ll take the counter to your position for $500.
  10. ST was in reference to Special Teams, not Becton. Also, whoever told you that CDC played a role in hiring Becton seems super informed. I keep hearing this shit about Flood and Sarkisian “beefing” from you guys that like to sniff some the farts of some of the more idiotic $9.95ers in Texas’ orbit. I’ve asked about it to several folks and it sounds like this is bullshit or story-inflation. Beyond that, I just fucking typed out that Flood isn’t calling the shots with approach to how the line needs to be blocking. Sarkisian has always run a soft offense, long before Flood was involved.
  11. This is a different Tim Beck. Shitty Tim Beck is the HC at Coastal Carolina.
  12. Regarding the assistant coaching discussion, here are some thoughts from my end: -Flood's not guy driving the bus regarding the approach to OL blocking, according to those familiar with the practices. He didn't forget how to coach overnight, either. So firing him is probably something Sarkisian does in order to save face after the season. -Sarkisian is a poor OC as a HC. The numbers bear out that he's generally done a mediocre to shitty job and that isn't going to change with a new OLC. One of the biggest issues with Sarkisian's offensive approach is that it is finesse-oriented. That's just not going to fly in the SEC against the athletes they're facing on everyone's front 7s. With the most talented OL Texas has had in decades last year, they often struggled to run the ball against good defenses. Point is, for the OL to really improve, Sarkisian's approach needs to change as much as anything. Seems unlikely. -Milwee needs to go. Sarkisian needs to hire an independent QB coach with actual skins on the wall. No QB has gotten better at Texas during the Sarkisian era. Not one. 2 of the highest rated QBs of all time have gotten to campus and not improved. One got drafted as an afterthought in the 7th round. The other has become a laughingstock and an accidental meme generator and he's embarrassing himself on a weekly basis. That's all on Sarkisian in some form, but he's not going to fire himself. He needs to fire his buddy and hire someone who can call him on his bullshit and coach the QB room. -What are we seeing and learning from Chris Jackson? Do we see WRs getting better? It's somewhat hard to discern with the OL being historically terrible while the QB is constantly either running for his life, shitting himself or doing both. -Too early on Huff. -I don't see anything happening with Banks and the TEs actually seem like they're improving with reps.
  13. You are pig wrestling, which is fruitless, unless you're the pig. All you get is muddy, as there is no winning. Meanwhile, the pig enjoys it.
  14. Lewis in Charleston is fucking great. Can compete with anywhere in Texas.
  15. Hahahaha. It is to laugh. … This is year 5. Steve Sarkisian has been given everything. EVERYTHING he has ever asked for or needed with this program. Many people have spent real money to support this fucking dipshit. He’s coaching a soft offense with a shit run game. Maybe you’re too dumb to grasp all of this, but the only pussies involved with this program are those coaching the offense, the finesse bitches on the OL and the QB who shrieks every time he hears footsteps.
  16. My dad was raised a Texas fan and then was recruited by DKR. Tore his knee up his senior year as a CB and had offers pulled from everywhere. Ended up choosing Rice over Tulane. He raised his boys to be Texas fans and has been as big a diehard as any person I’ve ever known who actually went to Texas, me included. The t-shirt whines have simply never passed muster for me.
  17. Oh man. The Spider2Y clown is negging Sydney Thomas? That is the most on brand shit ever. It’s fucking perfect. Hahahhahahaha. What an ultra-maroon.
  18. Also, no carnies. Small hands and smell like cabbage and such.
  19. I hate to derail someone working on shouting that mouthbreathing imbecile back into a corner, but the t-shirt fan shaming is bullshit. Texas has one of the biggest t-shirt fan followings in the world and Texas benefits mightily from it. You're excluding a lot of fans when you start down that path, and it's a silly position.
  20. I find myself watching other teams during the week with three things making me regularly envious: 1) teams in the red zone not running slowly developing dogshit runs up the middle. 2) offensive lines that can actually move an LOS on a running play. 3) QBs hitting wide open WRs roughly 5-15 yards down the field. The last one probably makes me the most ragey. Texas hasn't had a competent RZ approach in years and good OLs in the running game might as well be a myth at this point. But having a QB who cannot hit the broadside of a barn? That's new bullshit.
  21. Sure, I guess. It feels like a fall from grace, but I've lived long enough to know that there are far more disappointing outcomes than 8-4. That Georgia game is going to be like Fayetteville in 2021, with the offense and defense trading roles. It really doesn't take much on the road for a game against quality talent in a hostile environment to get out of hand, irrespective of how good someone's defense is. Why would I take 8-4? Because I prefer it to 5-7. You've made it clear in multiple threads that you don't really see how 5-7 could happen and then you start extolling the virtues of a likely 9-3 playoff team or some such, and, hey, you do you. For me? I remember 2021, 2010, 1997, 2014-2016. Some things I learned from those years include key insights like "winning poorly sure still beats the fuck out of losing" and "I enjoy watching a sport I love a lot more when Texas wins its game on Saturdays" and "offseasons suck a lot less coming off of decent seasons versus asshole-flavored seasons". I am not living in some fantasy realm that 10-2 will happen or that 9-3 gets Texas to the playoffs and if those things don't happen, then change needs to happen and that will only come after a 6-6 type season. I don't think a certain record is going to be the impetus for Sarkisian making some changes. He's either honestly introspective, which I think he is, or he's an idiot. There's no way he's looking at the offensive woes this season and not considering various changes. This team's beta is too massive to expect consistency and competency all of a sudden. Arch Knoblauch is a below average college QB who fails to get the basics right on a weekly basis. His coach goes into what the coach himself has labeled "playcallers block" at least once a game and often for entire halves. That's also indicative of poor prep and planning during the week, btw. Beyond all of that, this offensive line is dogshit and we're back to DJ Monroe World in which we might have one playmaker every now and then and that's mostly on special teams. Fuck me, fuck you and fuck Seven Win Steve for this. I feel like I need a cigarette. You can live with this approach and choose to be completely disappointed in the year. If this team finishes 10-2, I will kiss your bare ass in front of the tower and give you 30 minutes to draw a crowd. I, and clearly others, am choosing a path of far less disappointment. Give me some ugly wins and I've reset my expectations outside of 2-3 of those accordingly.
  22. October 21, 2023. Mississippi State beat Arkansas in Fayetteville, 7-3. That was MSU's last SEC win. They've lost 15 SEC games in a row. That will be heralded throughout the CFB media world and on social media when they break the streak two years later, this coming Saturday night. I hope that isn't the case, but I've been a Texas fan for a long time and that just kind of feels like some Texas football bullshit. This pretty much me exactly. I was stunned and pissed after that 1991 MSU game, but I'd only been watching games since the loss to Georgia in the Cotton Bowl 7 years earlier and didn't fully understand things just yet.
  23. If you could be guaranteed an 8-4 finish to the regular season, yet you do not get to pick the wins and losses, would you take that record, right now? I would take 8-4 if I could, without hesitation. 2 of the last 3 games involved one of the worst Texas offenses I have ever seen and one of those games also included a lackluster defense. I feel like the chances of seeing more abysmally shitty offensive performances over the next 5 games are really high and there's a solid chance that the defense plays like asshole again as well. A blowout loss to Georgia feels inevitable and an embarrassment in Starkville feels very plausible. 5-7 is more likely than 10-2. Hell, 9-3 would fucking stun me. My biggest problem with all of this is that there is no excuse for it. This is year 5 and Sarkisian has been given every resource. This is his doing and the offense is his bailiwick, yet the offense looks like an FCS unit. Also, name a QB that has been on a Texas roster and actually gotten better during their time on campus while Sarkisian and Milwee have been running that room. Like, name a single one.
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