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Ignatius Reilly

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Everything posted by Ignatius Reilly

  1. This is sketchy, most people I know use the clock on their phone I bet he's lying because of his wife
  2. unless it was regular non frozen yogurt, and somebody was mad because what kind of place serves that. it's a pretty good idea though because there is little competition. less now that that one has closed
  3. We can wait for the Facts to come out. it is probably harder to play basketball with a gun on your leg. because it is heavy
  4. the one at mcdonalds is broken often and they get murdered all the time
  5. maybe the frozen yogurt machine was broken and some buddy got mad. that's probably what happened because of occam's razor
  6. or a knife, maybe someone at a concession stand hates him or is in an opposition Gang
  7. the student was probably defending himself there are lots of reasons to have a gun. What if he had a Gang chasing him
  8. I heard we were using birds for it can you confirm
  9. This is possible the work of Satan, what do you think
  10. I had a very good Mexican waiter at the Gristmill last week i also have diabetes so i need to have my foot looked at
  11. Very sorry for your loss. It's hard to make friends as an adult, but try finding a facebook group that does regular meetups. There's one for every niche. I'm in a barbecue group with a few hundred people, we do a meetup (meatup) once a month. Grows every month, lots of guys bring buddies from their III percenter and Blue Flag groups (police and army wives) so we often get free stuff added on because we have a lot of cops. They're all generally cool guys, some short fuses (mostly the cosplay guys who have never seen urban combat) but most of us are retired and don't get too rowdy anymore. (I'm not retired, I just get lonely sometimes!) My wife is also dead
  12. I am allowed to select a variety. I am currently leaning toward the Roma. It's thicker skin has a higher tensile strength which I believe should more effectively keep them from bursting and collapsing. If i choose a purée, it will be Campari.
  13. Not naked. I will be nude. This is not a condition of the will, however.
  14. I assure you I am in perfect health
  15. I considered this but my attorney explains that the terms stipulate that the tomatoes be of a common consistency. My hands are tied.
  16. Hello. Recently, a distant family member passed away. He was a tomato farmer, and owned quite a substantial number of tomatoes. In his will, he bequeathed to me the entire tomato farm, to be transferred from his estate to mine, at such a time when I have carried out the stipulation within. My predicament is such that My Benefactor has requested that I am to be placed in a swimming pool of such size as to encompass my body fully; I am then allowed to choose having a full pool's amount of tomato placed on top of me, at which time I may vacate the pool using only the means provided to me upon entering the pool--there are ladders at each end. The deepest part of the pool reaches eight feet. I am, however, allowed to choose the form the tomatoes take, and herein lies the dilemma; Should I choose a purée, I assume I could swim as one might in a pot of bolognese, but as there are no air pockets, I would be forced to surface quickly should I become winded. Because the thickness of the purée has not been determined, I am concerned with its density and consequently my buoyancy. I also assume it will be very heavy, but I believe I can mitigate this depending on the density of the purée. I can also choose to have whole tomatoes placed gently atop me, instead of in a purée. This would seem to have two advantages--as tomatoes are not equally sized, even among varieties, there should be enough room for air to enter, making my struggles to stay alive much less labor intensive. I would be allowed to eat or sell the leftover tomatoes after this process complete. While whole tomatoes could be washed and processed, a purée would likely be soiled by close contact with the various crests and valleys of my body, which, despite my best efforts, can be sour and unappetizing at times. Which is the answer to my dilemma? I must know by Tuesday
  17. and by "interview" i mean plow, and by "her" i mean oprah
  18. I'd like to "interview" her, if you know what I mean
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