Your funny personal stories... Please add...

[Knoxtnhorn 5906]

One of the great joys I've had in moving from (was it?) 360 to Longhorn Bob's site to Hornfans to Shaggy to Surly has been reading some of the hilarious personal stories submitted over the years.  A A couple of my favs:

Christmas lights in Waco.

Drunk fest day w/ the Big 12 Championship and Texas basketball.

My submission is far from the greatest, but I thought I'd get it started.  WARNING: Probably a "You had to be there" story.

While at UT, I had a girlfriend that attended another college several hours away.  She was a wonderful girl, so I feel a tad guilty in using her for laughs, but here goes.  One weekend, I get shitfaced and fool around with another girl visiting with friends from Tech.  It was stupid and she was far inferior to the girl I already had.  

Flash forward a few months.  Girl and incident forgotten.  I decide to jump into a car with some friends going to visit the same group of girls from Tech.  As we get to Lubbock, a friend asks me what I'm going to do if Cat is all over me.  Nothing.  It was a stupid mistake.  Not interested.

About 15 beers later, the group heads back to the hotel at which we're staying.  One guy passes out on a twin, one guy passes out on another twin, two guys and two girls go outside to hang out, I'm on the floor in my sleeping back with Cat all over me.  I'm still not really that interested, but I'm also a 19 year-old guy.  Both guys in the room seem to be asleep, and Cat is throwing herself all over me.  Fuck it.  Let's go.  

Just as it starts to get good, she stops, looks up at me, and says, "We're doing this behind a girlfriend's back aren't we?"

My dumb drunk ass can't compute what she's hinting at so, after about 10 awkward seconds I reply, "Holy shit!  You've got a girlfriend!?"  Both guys, who I assumed were asleep, completely lose it.  Girl gets pissed and stomps out.

Again, not proud of cheating and do realize it'll fall near the bottom of possible future submissions on this thread, but... I really want to laugh.  Been a tough week at school.  Help me out.

 

 

 

[futureman 22324]

10 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

She was a wonderful girl

sorry for your loss. when did she pass?

[SHOOTER12 8766]

20 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

. I really want to laugh.  Been a tough week at school.  Help me out.

 

 

 

So... you want me to send you a dick pic?

[CHIEF 5035]

Went to the bar in college, this was so long ago, that Miller Genuine Draft had just come out. Shotgunned a shitload beers with my buddies, they all weigh 200+ lbs., I weigh 150 soaking wet. All that carbonation meant some of that beer needed to come back up. I dashed towards the door, but knew I wouldn't make it. There was a table full of hot girls with about a six pack of empty Genuine Draft bottles in the middle. I proceeded to pick up two bottles and puked in them and never got one drop outside of the two bottles. I set the bottles back down on the table, gave them a wink, and walked my smashed ass out of there and back to the apartment. Shaved off facial hair, and got a haircut before I went back. One of those buddies tells that story to EVERYONE anytime we get together. I would say that's all I got, but I would be wrong.

CHIEF

Oh, and I'm about to go hang out at the bar with Jill Kennedy's mom and stepdad, look her up on PornHub. I mean Jill, not her Mom.

Edited October 23, 2020 by CHIEF
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