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  1. At some point in your marriage, you need to give her something longer than 1/4” as a point of reference.
  2. ^^something something undefeated.
  3. I’ll play. TCU: NFL MVP: LaDanian Tomlinson, 2006 Superbowl MVP: Larry Brown, Super Bowl XXX Heisman Trophy: Davey O’Brien, 1938 #1 overall pick: Ki Aldrich, 1939 Oh, and TCU has multiple consecutive conference winning seasons, top 5 finishes in football, and CWS wins, all since WWII. How about aggy?
  4. If there are mice, there are snakes . . . And that little rubber sweep at the bottom of your garage door isn't a significant barrier to either mice OR snakes. Your best defense is a mean and hungry outside cat. Not the nice, fat lap cat, but the mangy, mean kind that would just as soon scratch you as rub up against your leg.
  5. He’s not old enough to remember the U being relevant. Recruiting pitch must’ve been him being placed in a lap dance room with “The U” 30 for 30 and Miami Vice playing on big screens in the background. Good luck with that. As others have pointed out, it’s not like he’s set up for success.
  6. Choke him out! Choke him out!
  7. Not in keeping with the “pic that makes you lol,” but on the small furry mammal topic... A friend of mine grew up in the country. One week the neighbors were going on vacation and had him look after their farm animals, etc. He dutifully went over there, fed and watered the stock, took care of the barn animals, etc. One evening he was in the barn doing whatever, and this freaky rat was way too friendly, coming up around him, behaving in ways that rats should not. So he took a shovel and dispatched the rat, disposing of the carcass in the trash. Went about his business. The property owners come back, all is well, they pay him, everybody goes about their business. About a week later, the owner sees my friend in town. Asks him, “say, we haven’t seen our ferret since we came back. He lives in the barn and takes care of mice. Did you happen to see the ferret while you were taking care of things?” My friend, without missing a beat, said “nope, didn’t see any ferret. Hope you find him!” End of ferret story.
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