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hobbs

Burnt Ends
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Posts posted by hobbs

  1. 1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

    So one of my Alabama buddies called this morning to cackle about this. We got to talking and I forgot about the ATM story he told me. 

    In Sumlin's last year, Banks and like 5 of the other coaches were all going through divorces or heading there. It was obviously a program and people in disarray. Fisher arrives in the aftermath and he had to "fix" a part of their offices. Apparently, Sumlin had contractors come in at some point and overhaul an area that was either extra space or conference rooms or some shit. They had shag carpeting brought in, a stripper pole installed, a bar, club lighting, and numerous partitioned areas with couches. 

    Yeah, Sumlin built a private strip club in the ATM athletic facilities. They began bussing in strippers from Houston and specifically, the main club of choice is the one up 290 towards the Highway 6 cutoff. I can't remember the name of it but one of you degenerates will know. 

    How did Banks and "Dani" meet and begin dating? You guessed it. She was regularly coming in to dance for major $$ at Club Kyle. Dude dumped his wife and 3-4 kids for her and promptly left them back in BCS when he got the call to go to Bama. 

    Fisher shows up and, numerous obvious jokes aside, looks around and says "what in the fuck?" and eventually had the area remodeled to normal office confines. 

    Another one - The Pole Assassin came to the family Christmas party held by the Sabans a few years ago dressed as a Slutty Stripper Elf. This is a family gathering for the team's players, families, and employees/spouses/kids held in the middle of the day shortly after the SEC title game and the playoffs. They have a Santa there. She proceeds to sit in Santa's lap by herself with numerous photos taken. Along with all of the other photos from the photographer that day, they were posted in the team admin's photo cloud for family members to download the ones of their own family. "Mrs. Terry", who I assume is Saban's wife, goes in to find all of the Pole Assassin photos and they were promptly deleted. 

    The Pole Assassin apparently had numerous monkey incidents while in Tuscaloosa that I don't think we realized because they're not referenced to her and Banks, but she's apparently the source for the monkey business. You can google "Bama Monkey" and get your fix. Below are a couple of links from there:

    https://www.cbs42.com/news/video-of-bama-monkey-in-tuscaloosa-goes-viral/

    https://www.al.com/life/2020/08/bama-monkey-video-just-might-make-you-say-roll-tide.html

     

     

    Wow, I would typically say there is no f'in way this is true...but, I would typically call bullshit on a story about a college football coach's stripper-girlfriend's monkey biting a trick-or-treater.  So, screw it, I'm assuming ctj's tale is fact.

    I used to often say "you can't make this shit up" with regard to inane stories about the Ags.  Sadly, it now applies to us as well and, coupled with the ultimate indignity of losing to tired-ass Baylor...well, I really have no words.

  2. 9 minutes ago, Hornbeliever said:

    Until Beard loses 2 games.  Then we will be criticizing every move and wish him death because he isn't immediately John Wooden.

    I get the sentiment, and I'm sure it will be true with regard to some, but it would take some extended next-level bed shitting to get me to the point I'm at with our football clownery right now.

    • Hook 'Em 1
  3. 18 minutes ago, Longboard Horn said:

    This! Baylor has a better record overall than us over the last dozen seasons because of their shit OOC. We don't pad our stats and wins with a bunch of FCS schools. A typical Baylor OOC is SFA, Lamar and Rice.... dog shit!

    Absolutely no disputing this...their OOC schedule is an abomination.

    That said, the fact that our conference records (over the last decade) are basically the same makes me throw up in my mouth.  Unacceptable, but the grim reality.  F'in Baylor?

    • Hook 'Em 3
  4. 4 hours ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

    You literally quoted my post looking at conference records only. 

    Baylor: 47-38
    Texas: 48-37

     

    Good grief, that is simply horrific to see in print.

    I despise Baylor. The fact that, during the last decade, we have merely one more conference win than those sorry lame-ass bastards makes me want to break shit.

  5. 5 minutes ago, immamac said:

    I don't get this either. Texas traveled extremely well to fayettnam and it didn't matter it was louder than DKR ever gets. Texas fans need to step it the fuck up and start coming early, being loud, and making DKR a fucking scary place to be.

    Yep, while watching the shitshow and getting abused by Arky fans around us, I kept thinking about how good their crowd was...it was rocking.  We rarely sniff an atmosphere like that, unless it's a BIG night game.  They were out for blood and we completely shit the bed.  Yes, it was a monster game for them, but their student section was berserk.

    Obviously, I don't expect a raucous crowd for Rice, but we gotta get it together on the crowd front.  It's always going to be a struggle because of the West side olds (I'm one of them), but we have major room for improvement, per usual.

    • Hook 'Em 1
  6. 14 hours ago, Lobo said:

    Well shit, rooms going fast. Looks like airport or Springdale it is.  Which works out fine, after we win, I've been told the best thing to do is just pickup pizza and beer and hunker down in your hotel room Ohio State '05 style.  Really don't want to mess with a rental car though either. 

    Anybody ever been to the Crystal Bridges Museum of Art up that way?  Buildings/grounds look absolutely stunning.  

    Anything on their campus worth seeing?  

    Crystal Bridges is great...definitely worth checking out.

    Campus is pretty and Old Main is a neat building. It's worth a walk around and then have a drink on the porch of the Inn at Carnall Hall.  We usually stay there, but rooms were gone in two seconds, so we got Airbnb.

    Best bar in town is Maxine's and it's not even close.  Good drinks and way better setting than the places on Dickson.

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