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  1. https://tenor.com/view/midnight-staley-pain-prediction-rocky-clubber-lang-gif-20894998
  2. you know that fat fuck picks up anything inside of 15 feet.
  3. Had the same thought. He'd be facing Putin's ankles---upside down.
  4. Thanks for the kind word, Jack, and best of luck in your senior year.
  5. This is dangerous for me to know. I have bags of dog shit to dispose of everyday and that's a three minute drive. Meanwhile, in my subsconscious...
  6. Well, those chicken fucking bastards can insert it into every part of their scabies encrusted rectums. That made me feel better. Thanks for listening.
  7. Jesus, Junior you're to bed. Go the fuck drunk.
  8. See, that's the thing; if they ever summoned the emotional wherewithal to adopt an attitude of "Fuck it, let's go.", they'd be well on the way to culturally and institutionally un-fucking themselves. The biggest problem with aggy is that they are never who they constantly and loudly profess themselves to be. I'm sure it has been said before, but the Wake Forest(?) bowl game they chickened out of is a great example. How cool would it have been if aggy had tried to live up to their 12th Man legend and showed up to play the game even though they were short-handed. They could have actually played walk-ons, tried running the wing-T, put in an offensive lineman at QB, I don't know...any kind of crazy shit to try to be competitive. Sure they would have lost, but if they truly left had it all out on the field and took their ass-kicking with dignity and grace, then they could be rightfully proud about how they dealt with a challenge under tough circumstances. If they acted that way on a consistent basis, maybe people would capitalize the A in aggy. PS: there is a short story called "You Can't Kill the Rooster" written by David Sedaris about his foul-mouthed but loveable little brother. The Rooster is the type of little brother they ought to try to be.
  9. They only did that because USC was on a a huge winning streak with two Heisman winners and playing in their home stadium. Aggy thought there was no way the Horns would win, so they pretended to be magnanimous, all the while fantasizing about they would offer consoling words to their Longhorn acquaintances with barely concealed shadenfreude after the inevitable loss, while reinforcing their sense of moral superiority. Then, our beloved Horns went and won arguably the best college football game of all time, and their dream turned to shit and they were forced to face the probability that their own school will likely never experience a moment like that in their lifetime. All of those shirts were burned immediately after the game and zero aggy made a congratulatory call. TLDR? I said "Fuck those putos".
  10. Yes, that's right Clem. It WAS completely unfair that the rankings were set up from "year before" where (checks notes),,,let's see here...the Longhorns finished the season with an 11-1 record and a last second victory over Michigan in the Rose Bowl, with Vince Young returning for another year...Yep, totally unfair that the sips were highly ranked and didn't deserve all they achieved after.
  11. Thanks @TwiceHorn, inmaterubbinghandsinanticipation.gif.
  12. So, talk to me like I have serious mental deficits and have been making my way through life on a combination of false bravado and glib humor. Did Trump fuck himself royally in his own prolapsed rectum by renewing the defamation out of office?? It seems like he may have... <littlegirlcrossingherfingerssohard.gif>.
  13. Jesus, that unathletic fuck, or maybe they don't play catch on his home planet. Catch that thing, pop the top, down it, crush it, can flip...President Cruz. But, then again, if Rafael possessed those abilities or instincts, he might be the type of guy that a young daughter would be happy to see when he gets home from a week on the campaign trail. Edit: not that catching beer cans and chugging are qualities a daughter needs to see in father in order to love him. More that maybe if he was able to do things like that, he might not have become such a weasle-ey preening asshole. PS: The guy next to him must be his progeny. Not even close and actually helps Ted get beaned.
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