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BHMCruiser

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Posts posted by BHMCruiser

  1. 22 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

    Agreed, but what's worrisome is that she said later the reason that they thought the transfer tank contained gas was that she thought it was a gasoline tractor for some reason. It could have easily been worse had she ever decided she was entitled to drive the tractor someday. Luckily she has said more than once that she's too scared to try that. 

    Sounds like you need to hide the tractor keys

  2. On 9/20/2019 at 10:57 PM, NorthLoop said:

    When you're flying SW, look for the big fat guy or the 6'7 guy flying alone near the front of the line. Get behind that guy in line (trust me it doesn't matter what your boarding group number is, the gate chick doesn't care). When that guy grabs an aisle seat, grab the window seat with him. If there is one single empty seat on that plane by the time it boards, it will be the one between you two. 

    Terrible game theory! You are rolling the dice, big time, with that maneuver. You are betting the chance that you MIGHT be more comfortable against the CERTAINTY that you will be unbelievably uncomfortable if the flight is full, or if people are stupid (and you never win if you bet on the average person to do something not stupid). 

    Your approach is facially attractive (unlike your mom), but in actually is likely to result in extreme discomfort (like your mom). 

     

    The real way to play this out is to stand next to a hot, petite girl and sit next to her. At a minimum you will be comfortable and then go from there.

    • Like 2
  3. 22 minutes ago, HouTex said:


    Yep. What a nerd. I’ve never seen “genuine issue of material fact” used outside of a summary judgment motion/response.

    Obviously he just learned it and wrote that screed while drunk

    Which makes him a first year, and not a very smart one

  4. 1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

    I don’t drink wine though. She doesn’t mind, ‘cause more for her.

    I don’t drink Scotch either (nor does she, and I don’t know anyone who does), but bought a bottle of The Glenlivet 15 recently because it was on sale. Should I be posting in the dumb things husbands do thread?

    You bought something you don't want and can't use because it was on sale?

     

    The jokes write themselves.

    • Like 1
  5. 3 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

    @BHMCruiser is on to something profound. If you don’t want to deal with a wife, don’t get married. It’s brilliant in its simplicity. 

    No, I am very tolerant of her, and she of me. But I don't want to waste my time on shit that is irritating so we have an understanding. It's reciprocal. 

  6. 12 hours ago, Brothahorn said:

     


    Because when I get home, she whines for 29 minutes about why didn’t I answer? What if it was an emergency? How she can never depend on me in her time of need? And all she needed to tell me that she was getting a haircut.

     

    Then turn around and walk out

    • Haha 1
  7. On 9/17/2019 at 11:27 AM, Kennythetiger said:

    Dude, no sauce needed- first you eat the steak, then the tomatoes, then you use the garlic toast to mop up the sauce and steak juices.  

    Man, sometimes this place is like playing cards with my brother's kids.  

    I was mocking the multiple sauces

    • Like 1
  8. 35 minutes ago, Lobo said:

    The people who have that Einstein poster that says, “imagination is more important than knowledge” almost categorically possess neither.  

    Who has posters? WTF are you talking about?

  9. 13 hours ago, Brothahorn said:

     


    Wife will sometimes call on the way home and tell me about her whole day. Shit that she could tell me when she gets home in 20 minutes.

    Of course, she then gets home and tells me the same shit.

     

    Why do you answer the phone? I never have conversations on the phone with my wife. I say "what's up?" and, if she starts to just talk, I cut her off and say "sorry but I've got to get this done, let's talk later." But usually I just don't answer. 

  10. I used to take the train from Baltimore to DC and back every day. And women would ALWAYS be on their phones talking to people. The whole way there. The whole way back. Basically no man was on his phone. I would just wonder who the fuck these people were talking to? Were they just somewhere else in the train? Had I died and gone to hell? I was just surrounded by idiotic blathering from every angle. The only other option was the quiet car, where you could hear somebody forty feet away clinching in a fart.

  11. 19 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

    I'm sure it happens to everyone on this thread, but it drives me crazy when my wife asks me a question, I answer, then she continues to ask/explain the question.

    <I walk out of laundry room after grabbing some batteries>
    Her:  Are you using the washer?
    Me:  No
    Her:  Because I need to wash the sheets
    Me:  I said I'm not using it
    Her:  The sheets need to be washed because the dog jumped in the pool and I didn't notice and when I let him in he ran and jumped on the bed and now the <I walk out of room> sheets are all wet and I need to wash them.  Do you think it's too hot for the dogs outside?  Should I get them a fan for outside?  I think there is a fan on sale at Target, I'll go tomorrow.  Oh!, you'll never guess who I ran into at Target the other day......
     

    Every married man endures this constantly. As far as I can tell, men mainly use language to CONVEY information, e.g. the house is THERE. So, once you have responded to her question with a decisive answer, in your mind there is nothing left to discuss and the jibber jabber that follows is like being dragged over hot coals. But women use language to PROCESS information, which has an emotional component. So talking about something, no matter how irrelevant, is part of their process of explaining how things are affecting them.

    It is essentially an unbridgeable psychological divide and you just have to be patient. She has the same frustration on her end, which is that you are rude and never talk to her, from her perspective. Good luck. You will fail. We all will fail. 

    • Like 7
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