BHMCruiser
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Posts posted by BHMCruiser
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4 hours ago, Brisketexan said:
You bacon wrap your dick?
NTTAWWTIt's the only way to get your fat wife to suck it
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If our LBs don't learn fast, we are in for a rough season.
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On 9/13/2019 at 10:58 PM, Walden Ponderer said:
Meanwhile, tapas sound like a good idea in the abstract, but every tapas place I've ever been to has been absolute rubbish.
Dali in Cambridge, MA, used to be the absolute bomb, but that was a long time ago.
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I used to take the train from Baltimore to DC and back every day. And women would ALWAYS be on their phones talking to people. The whole way there. The whole way back. Basically no man was on his phone. I would just wonder who the fuck these people were talking to? Were they just somewhere else in the train? Had I died and gone to hell? I was just surrounded by idiotic blathering from every angle. The only other option was the quiet car, where you could hear somebody forty feet away clinching in a fart.
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19 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:
I'm sure it happens to everyone on this thread, but it drives me crazy when my wife asks me a question, I answer, then she continues to ask/explain the question.
<I walk out of laundry room after grabbing some batteries>
Her: Are you using the washer?
Me: No
Her: Because I need to wash the sheets
Me: I said I'm not using it
Her: The sheets need to be washed because the dog jumped in the pool and I didn't notice and when I let him in he ran and jumped on the bed and now the <I walk out of room> sheets are all wet and I need to wash them. Do you think it's too hot for the dogs outside? Should I get them a fan for outside? I think there is a fan on sale at Target, I'll go tomorrow. Oh!, you'll never guess who I ran into at Target the other day......
Every married man endures this constantly. As far as I can tell, men mainly use language to CONVEY information, e.g. the house is THERE. So, once you have responded to her question with a decisive answer, in your mind there is nothing left to discuss and the jibber jabber that follows is like being dragged over hot coals. But women use language to PROCESS information, which has an emotional component. So talking about something, no matter how irrelevant, is part of their process of explaining how things are affecting them.
It is essentially an unbridgeable psychological divide and you just have to be patient. She has the same frustration on her end, which is that you are rude and never talk to her, from her perspective. Good luck. You will fail. We all will fail.
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2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:
You don't talk to hookers, Mrs. CL. That's a waste of money.
Everybody knows you pay to kiss them
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It was excellent.
His Anthony Bourdain/dude at Foot Locker set up was absolutely brilliant.
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6 hours ago, AM Wood said:
my step brother kenny is missing an entire arm and he broke out of prison for a day.
this is a good post
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22 hours ago, gsoda3 said:
largest deltas:
seafood (not the fried stuff)
smoked meats/centex bbq
xiao long baos
paella
scrambled eggs
you're the largest delta
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49 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:
Well sorry amigo, because bad pizza sucks ass thru a straw and is not OK. And nope, the best BBQ is not way better than the best pizza. BBQ has basically one main flavor, pizza can combine several at once, for a much more complex flavor experience, and I love BBQ. Of course its all personal choice, and your results may vary.
where do you live? because you sound like a yankee
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On 8/25/2019 at 10:57 AM, Lobo said:
They've always had time travel in the Star Wars series. It's called the Jump to Hyperspace via Lightspeed. You can go really fast to get from one end of the galaxy to the other in mere minutes. What will be introduced in this final installment will be a Lightspeed system so powerful, you can travel forward in time. I dunno. Poster does kick ass though.
Everybody is always traveling forward in time.
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4 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:
Pizza says Chiao......
Disagree. Even really bad pizza is usually okay. But bad barbecue is disgusting and infuriating. Furthermore, the best barbecue is WAY WAY WAY better than the best pizza. So the gap is wider.
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There is no wider gap than between "how good barbecue can be" and "how barbecue usually is."
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1 hour ago, Vic Mackey said:
Tattoos have been around waaaay before your "edgy" bikers or whatever else had them. Same as piercings. People don't get tattoos to look "edgy". It's a form of art they want on your body. If you think tattoos make someone edgy, then you seem pretty sheltered and a weird outlook.
And yes, face tats have been around waaaay before these people you are naming. Thousands of years ago cultured and tribes got tattoos all over their body, including their face and hands and it was the norm. They weren't trying to portray some image or look "hard" and "intimidating".
Yes and then Westerners showed up, killed them, and took their land.
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11 hours ago, Party_Taco said:
How long ago did you leave if you don’t mind me asking? I hear what you’re saying, and perhaps I’m just too optimistic because I’ve only been here a short time, but I have hope that this city will continue to improve.It's been about three years. You can get used to a lot of the problems quickly because the city is so historic, interesting and vibrant. But if you pay attention, you will find yourself getting accustomed to things that are not normal and not acceptable. Every time I think Baltimore turns in the right direction, they do something nuts and reset the meter.
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6 hours ago, mulletpelini said:
I buried the safe in the basement floor, she never goes in the basement. Problem solved.
Today was odd though. Must be something in the menstrual air. When I got home, the garage door was lifting and I could see her doing something with her car. I had picked up some lumber for our home office I'm working on so I didn't pull into the garage as normal. I get out and then see what she's doing. She's washing the car......inside the garage.
Now, the strangest part of this is, that I've never seen her wash a car.....EVER. Not by hand, not paying someone else, not automated, not even if it was free with a fill-up. NEVER.
So immediately, my mind goes into "ah shit what did she fuck up now" so I start asking questions about it and of course I'm an asshole for asking why she's washing her car in the garage. Apparently it was just a spur of the moment fleeting female thought that led to it, but I was still fucking irritated because I've got tvs, amps, speakers, computers, tools, etc. and I really don't want her in the garage at all to be quite honest, and it rarely is an issue. Much like the basement, she doesn't venture there much. I told her to wash the fucking car in the driveway and got the asshole tone stare but that's nothing new.
She is washing all the semen off
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This page is totally fucking awesome
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On 7/29/2019 at 10:43 PM, Uncle Boobs said:
Well this conversation is certainly pleasant.
It's like actually being in New York. Now I don't have to go.
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23 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:
The inflated cost of the magazine for Canadians is the best part.
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16 hours ago, crash_davis said:
37 mins?
is there a cliff notes version?
He meant "holy shit I just posted a 40 minute long movie"
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2 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:
Cold War Update: My son wanted to hang out with Mary's son yesterday so my wife eventually gave in and called her. She's unblocked now, apparently, and left her a message. Mary called back later in the afternoon as if none of this had ever happened. She then informed my wife that her family booked a beach trip at the same time as ours. Mary has it in her pea brained head that we were all going to hang out for 3 days together on the beach. My wife is like, WTF? That's not happening. How do you go from blocking somebody and going radio silent for two weeks to "we're all going on vacation together" with zero discussion or even acknowledgement of the situation? So insane.
Enjoy your extended family beach vacation.
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There is no such thing as "cauliflower steaks." Get out of here with that nonsense.
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11 hours ago, Party_Taco said:
Yeah I get ya - We’re right next to Butcher’s Hill and things are certainly turning up here. City on the whole is improving despite the crime statistics. It’ll honestly be really interesting to see where this place stands in 5 years.
The high speed rail to DC also has the potential to be a game changer, but I’ll settle for Top Golf on the harbor
We moved here from Southern California so it was a big adjustment, but I dig the people, food and cheap housing so I can’t complain.
There's not going to be high speed rail to DC. Besides, what are the estimates for high speed rail times? 25 minutes? Guess how long it would take a direct, no stop, regular amtrak from Penn Station? A little less than thirty minutes. And if they fixed the West Baltimore tunnel, it would be more like 25. And you could get more trains through. The infrastructure (including light rail access and parking) is already in place, and it would totally revitalize the Charles Street corridor to have several non stops to DC so people could work there and live in Baltimore.
They can't even agree on where to put parking for the proposed high speed line.
I took the train to DC every day for seven years. There are ways to do it and make it work.
Butchers Hill is nice. The problem with crime in Baltimore is the total randomness of it. There are no safe areas, just safer areas. That makes it different than Chicago. Nobody is getting shot in downtown Chicago in the middle of the week. But in the Inner Harbor? Who knows.
Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do
in Lulz
Posted
Why do you answer the phone? I never have conversations on the phone with my wife. I say "what's up?" and, if she starts to just talk, I cut her off and say "sorry but I've got to get this done, let's talk later." But usually I just don't answer.