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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by RDCanecutter

  1. I am not happy when I hear about Trump fans putting all their savings into DJT.*

    Because for every goateed warrior mumbling in his phone out in the truck, there's probably a wife getting no damn help at all, and maybe a couple of OK kids who don't understand what the hell Dad is so mad about. Now their dumbass Dad put them all into poverty for no fault of their own.

    *Unless it's Jenna the Insurrection Realtor

    • Hook 'Em 5
    • Rage+1 1
  2. 47 minutes ago, GenXer said:

    This analogy isn’t quite right. Thirty seconds after you met said beautiful woman, aggy would’ve been screaming that he went to a&m to get your attention because aggy can’t stand getting zero attention.

    My Texas existence was mainly in cities up and down I-35, and I somehow avoided learning about the depths of Aggy weirdness. Until I worked there. The day after I finished that contract, I was in Mexico, trying to heal a shattered mind.

    • Like 1
    • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
  3. 53 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

    Good to see that TexAgs is full of Christians that care about adultery, lying, etc.

    The state of Texas is a beautiful woman that you fall in love with, then you wake up next to her, and she rolls over and the back of her head has this hideous attached fetal twin, and it's alive and spitting blood, pus, piss, the runny shits, and jism all at the same time while clacking its stunted limbs like a crab, and on one grotesquely misshapen finger you see a ring. An Aggy ring.

    "Don't mind him, hon," she purrs, "that's just Aggy."

    • Haha 7
    • Drool 2
  4. Geezer Radio is deeply concerned about protestors blocking bridges. Only mention of Trump's trial is that one end of the Brooklyn Bridge is not too far from the courthouse.

    • Haha 2
  5. 55 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

    According to various tweets, Trump fell asleep and was drooling during the trial this morning.  According to others, he does not look good.

     



     

    Those All-Caps All-Nighters don't come for free.

    • Hook 'Em 2
  6. 1 minute ago, YGIFS said:

    We've have some pretty damn solid ideas.  Forgive my pride of authorship, but I've had a few decent ones-one of which would actually work---the Presidential Library Exploratory Committee.  I could get away with it for at least 90 days, it not longer and easily clear six figures before anybody knew anything about it.  I can handle myself, trouble is---I realized my wife and children would be looking over their shoulder for the next ten years.  I'm not smart enough to leave no digital trace behind of what we did/how we did it.  I can easily setup the finance/payments mechanism but somewhere, somehow, even with these rubes-one of them will trace it back the "concept" borne by me online and get my real identity.  

    We can't do anything in person because these people film this shit constantly to share with friends about how they got invited for $250/person to this cool conference to discuss possibly being on the Presidentjial Library Planning Committee.  

    There's a sweet-spot in there though that the trading cards, coins, bibles, and now stock has proven.  They won't admit they've been fleeced, then even also kinda like it.  All it takes is one guy though out of millions who does realize he's been wronged and knows how to digital sleuth and comes heavy.  Even if we pay somebody overseas to build out the website and merge it into the depository platform I can setup in my sleep with a reputable 50-state chartered bank (that's still small and unknown), we still have pay those developers somehow.  Or I guess just let them skim off the top before the money hits our ACH/Stripes system here in the States.  Shit, now I'm starting to go down a rabbit hole.  

    ^^^Exhibit A in my case that Surly Talks, Surly Don't Grift.

    I am not a lawyer but when I put own this heah gumbo accent, Y'Honah, ain't nuddin a jury gonholaginmenohow. HYAH.

    • Hook 'Em 2
  7. 26 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

    Help? Is dealing 3-card monte not something a person can do by themselves? 

    My friend was part of a three-man operation.

    Dealer: has the never-ending patter, keeps the cards going.

    Muscle: stands off to the side, comes in if needed.

    Shill (my buddy): pretends to play, "wins" some money, whispers to drunk sailors that he noticed that one card has a bent corner.

    Works like a vacuum cleaner for money.

    • Hook 'Em 1
    • Drool 2
  8. 2 hours ago, immamac said:

    Why would jury selection take weeks? 

    So all those potential jurors can get paid pimp-rolls of jury duty money.

    • Haha 2
  9. 4 hours ago, SubliminalHorn said:

    I hope that moron loses everything and has to rely on government assistance to survive his retirement. I hear your 70s is the best time to have your entire life savings wiped out 

    "People get greedy, they get stupid" --my buddy who used to help run a 3-card Monte game.

    • Drool 1
    • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
  10. 1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

    We're talking about the burbs.  No DQ.  Just Applebees, as far as the eye can see......

    Reminds me of one time I took an outer ring road around the Atlanta metro. It was the same pie-slice of suburbia on repeat every 5 miles, Bed Bath and Beyond and all the chains flashing past like the repeating background when the Flintstones drive somewhere.

    7 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said:


    plenty of empty buildings to move into and great tex mex 

    Art colony. But then you've got artists.

    • Haha 2
  11. 17 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

    Bingo.  They'll move to a burb, get a dead-end job, finance an $80k lifted truck they really can't afford, slap a "Fuck Joe Biden" sticker on the back of it, and keep on keeping on.

    If you throw in a Dairy Queen it actually sounds like a fulfilling life. Too bad these voices in my head hold me back from it.

    • Drool 1
  12. 12 minutes ago, Biff Tannen said:

    I’d rather sleep at night. God dammit. I wish I could be that person. But it’s better I’m not. 

    Seeing as how it's been 8 years of "we oughta do x y z to grift them," with no actual grift, I'd say nobody on here is that person.

    • Like 1
    • Haha 1
  13. 10 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

    Their corpses will be useful as temporary substitutes for sand bags.

    That smell is just fear leaving the body. And maybe cadaverine and putrescine.

    • Like 1
  14. 5 hours ago, Dnaguy said:

    I thought this too….. but here I am seemingly 20 years later and it’s just keeps getting worse / crueler.

     

    My theory is that in the past 20 years 49 other states have been sending their crueler inhabitants to Texas. So no matter what the locals do, there's always another dollop of assholes moving in, buying hats and lone star decor. Howdy you guyss.

    • Hook 'Em 3
    • Like 1
    • Drool 1
  15. 6 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

    It’s completely on-brand for them to have to take lessons on being a man.

    Instead of imitation boot camps, they could swing by a recruiter and find out about a real one.

    If they've got bone spurs or some other condition, they could still volunteer for Civil Air Patrol or similar, make themselves useful.

    • Hook 'Em 3
  16. 52 minutes ago, SubliminalHorn said:

    “We’re not stupid”

     

    …yeah 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

    We laugh, but that ol' boy is the one you want by your side when Santa Anna's lancers come galloping up on the flank. Y'all just load em and pass em up to the palisade, he'll do the rest.

    Not his fault the world changed.

    • Hook 'Em 1
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