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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Roy Moore, sorry to dox you but never in a million years would I have guessed this was you. Gil, your friend is a quitter. He could have tried a couple more times and found a young woman who liked doing the shit y'all like. But he quit. Quitty quitty McQuitty pants. And sure why not get a nice 40-year-old girlfriend too.
  2. It's a set-up. Next they ask to borrow 100 grand seed money for a pro-Harris tshirt company, and they'll double your money. But they'll really buy a Trump boat and cruise up and down the lake, laughing.
  3. Forget his party or his couch-fucking. He just treated the volunteers like shit who laid all those snacks out for his pudge ass.
  4. "You ain't a soldier until you get an Article 15," my drill sgt at the Kentucky Home for Wayward Youth
  5. He looks like a pudgy staff officer who roots through the men's packages from home to protect them from contraband cookies.
  6. I want more Democrats in positions of power because I've heard good things about the 90s, and would like to have my home state move forward to that era.
  7. Plus, he's letting the dog get a taste first, before he himself finishes the rest. Leadership.
  8. DeSantis could camp out at Tuberville's empty house in Alabama.
  9. Gotdamn. He'd have Maga low-crawlin across HIS parking lot cleanin it with toothbrushes.
  10. When I'm wearing any tshirt, the "White Dude for" part is pretty obvious.
  11. It was a perfect injury, a beautiful injury. Everybody is saying so.
  12. One of the funniest days in Basic Training was when they measured everybody's height while we were standing in socks. Much mental trauma, I don't know how the former football players found the strength to carry on. My first teaching job, my male students (mostly 14-15 year olds) went into meltdown when I told them I was 6' 3" (in socks.) Half of them believed they were 6' 3", when it was more like 5' 10" in shoes. They declared that I was 6' 5" and to keep the peace we left it at that. Now I am 6' 3" in shoes and I claim the hell out of it.
  13. Buy your own Trump flag. Cut it into 4" wide strips. Wrap it around a toilet paper roll. When you get there, high five everybody, then sneak into the bathroom right before everybody finishes eating. Replace the TP with your Trump roll. Hide all the rest of the TP and/or pour water on it.
  14. About that... We have a bottom step on the staircase that in low light pulls the optical illusion of being the floor. Years ago I learned to hold the banister and assume the steps were trying to kill me. But the other day I was in Lala Land as I skipped down the stairs carrying a Macbook Pro and various crap, then next I knew I was back-flipping onto steps and clumping down them on my butt and backbone. Just laid at the bottom for a sec crumpled up between my wife's newest vacuum machine, Tupperware tubs of Art Show shit, and blood from a right elbow possibly due to smashing the face plate on a light switch. Macbook Pro held up great after flying in the air and hitting the floor. A childhood of jumping bikes over ditches saw me through as well. No cyborg spider-body replacement yet.
  15. I was curious. Watched it long enough to ID the teacher. Whoa. If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. HOWWWW can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat.
  16. Georgia Repubs still sore that a rank amateur like Trump tried to butt into their vote-cookin kitchen.
  17. Usha, with family roots in thousands-of-years-old caste-based civilization, deeply concerned about fairness.
  18. Say you really need some change, and there sits JD Vance's unsearched couch, do you or don't you?
  19. All ye who touch yourselves stand tall in your false pride as ye condemn another man. Yet JD did not touch himself. The couch did.
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