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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Maybe use a photo from before she started melting.
  2. Back in the 80s a bunch of the drill sergeants at Ft Knox drove cars with cheap Mississippi plates. I doubt half of them had ever been there. There may have been actual laws against it, but would would happen was, one Drill Sergeant with Mississippi plates would give a court house phone # to another Drill Sergeant, and there'd be a nice lady on the other end willing to write down whatever fictional address he gave, he'd send the check, they'd send the plates to where he was at Ft. Knox. I don't know which Mississippi county they were getting them from. Maybe all of them. I like to imagine that there were entire ghost villages in the countryside full of made-up mamas and aunties, waiting for their boys to come home for Christmas.
  3. Geometry and Philosophy, one would assume. OP is a gentleman of antiquitarian refinement with a delicate Pyloric valve. And, in return, you all harass him with babble, like that emanating from that Mynkoff minx when she sits of the floors of coffee houses and argues with bongo players and folk singers.
  4. From my recon (glancing at a map while on the shitter) it doesn't look like road maintenance is a huge item in the Guyanese budget, or that there are enough towns and farms for an invader to live off the land. So how are a mob of Venezoluchos even supposed to move or eat, especially once all the unknown spiders and insects and trained monkeys with poison dart blowguns start swarming? I predict they grab a couple of oil wells walking distance from their own border, then it stalls out. And for the umpteenth time, it's sad-funny when military juntas try to grab land because Spain once claimed it. Bitch you ain't part of Spain.
  5. Saying "sore-y, sore-y" as they thrash about covered in fire ants, scorpions, and grackles.
  6. Texas has already seceded from Mexico and from the US. The only artistically viable remaining secession is from Canada. This will of course require a stealthy unification with Canada first, otherwise secession would be chest-thumping play-action. But my people inform me that it has been underway and is nearly complete. I almost feel sorry for those Canadians, but they are fools, such trusting fools.
  7. If we were so lucky as to have the same brains as people 80,000 years ago, we'd be some bad-ass quick thinkers. Instead, we have mushy extra-food lay-around-and-get-fed anyway brains. It's like comparing wolves to puppy videos. We've relapsed to something that would have been left on the ice back then.
  8. I took the mock-up LSAT and did fine, but when I saw actual lawyers they were all getting drunk, but not fun-drunk, like, way-too-tight-tie-cinched-up drunk, and the young ones were mechanically, seriously drinking, trying not to slip up in front of their drunk elders. So I said fuck it and went for the $$$ of t-shirt design.
  9. Is it really a bet when we both know the answer? She don't need shoes noways.
  10. It's the UK innit. They don't have the sperm freedoms like we do. Plus they assume everybody's going on the dole (pronounced Doe-oo) and this will mess up Form QBX1234xy and the poor kid will starve like Marvin won't he.
  11. Forgot to take any. I was there to visit my brother's girlfriend, not to talk to Daddy Inbreed.
  12. An X for the first one? Missed opportunity. Talk her into letting you tie her up, then you take a shit in the MAGA bag. Go down to the bar, have a beer, charge it to her room.
  13. First time I was in the Conroe area, I met a dude who confided that he was donging his own daughter-in-law. Nothing coming out of Conroe has since changed my initial impression.
  14. And his costar Tom Wopat, born in Lodi Wisconsin. Which is cool. Lots of northerners ditch the snow, even if most of them don't film Necksploitation TV. But you'd think there'd be some internal editor, for such a good ol' boy.
  15. You and everything you own would look like a wool sweater left out at a moth farm.
  16. Big deputies, strong deputies, tears in their eyes as they move those tables, those beautiful perfect tables.
  17. CSB: Back in olden days when I was a Lieutenant and we still used M60 machineguns, I was in charge of running our guys through an M60 range on some half-deserted post. Which meant I got to climb up in the control tower and fiddle with all the switches that popped the targets up and down. I tried to inflict madness on my troops by using non-Euclidian math, making the targets pop up without repeating patterns. My favorite thing to do was the over-long pause, where guys would relax and look around, wondering if we were done, then BANZAI have all the targets jump up. Anyway, there was long dead grass that would occasionally spark up, so a couple of times we had to stop firing, send dudes out there to stomp it out. Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. About the third shift to come through, the guys are chopping up targets, when there's a WHOOMP and soil flies up halfway down range. The Sergeants look up at me. "You do that, LT?" "No. No I did not." We called an audible that M60 shooting was done for the day. As y'all have already figured out, that M60 range used to be something else. An M203 grenade launcher range, so I was told. So yeah, that area where my guys had been stomping out fires is where a bullet dinged an old dud. Probably a practice round, but the way it blew up I wouldn't have wanted to be stomping on it. /CSB
  18. It's no michelada, but we must survive on what the land provides.
  19. Something has happened to his speech, like he's wearing a partial plate. Pronounces his "s"s like a Dutchman. Found it very dishtracting to lishten to shome damn Dutchman.
  20. If you're built to argue every point, it probably feels like popping bubble wrap.
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