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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. I rested all my hopes on your being a ham operator able to bang out morse code and warn the team bus about the washed out bridge when all other methods were down.
  2. No. All they had to pick from were scowling East Texas Box Facers draped in camo tarps. Or maybe those were jackets. For the purposes of this banter, East Texas is understood to extend to the Atlantic.
  3. There was a time when my wife, an occasional marathoner, felt down about her weight. I took her to a Bass Pro Shop.
  4. I like to think that there is a semi-liquid poop pool down at the asshole, so that farts percolate up through it like pot smoke through bong water, except maybe with different effects.
  5. We may dislike MTG now, but on some future day when she scoops up a baby from a flooded river and climbs to safety in a tree using only one arm and her toe-thumbs, then we will realize how lucky we are to have her.
  6. I'm waiting for Stormy to describe that her "sexual encounter" was wallowing around on top of Trump for 30 minutes in a vain attempt to get him hard.
  7. Even if they don't result in convictions, this trial and others work as wonderful suppressive fire on Trump. For the uninitiated, that'd be something like a burst of machinegun fire on the general area of the enemy, where even if its unlikely to hit anything, it makes it harder for them to do anything back to you, and leaves you able to move easier. die mothafucka die.
  8. Former Seal sporting a Black Watch waistcoat? He's one claymore away from splitting Gaetz'z brain-pan.
  9. Sounds like a missed opportunity to make the teen mom a teen mom again and then get eighteen years of child support garnished from your checks, Though yes, you shoulda woulda coulda rolled the dice.
  10. He's been holding it in so long there's no telling how much will spurt out.
  11. Do you remembah when little Timmy had leg braces? New Hampshah remembahs. Or maybe they don't.
  12. Well, she's not. She's the ventriloquist dummy. Whoever's got their hand up her butt is making her say that. Left alone, she'd be sharing Q themes on FB and yelling at a clerk.
  13. OK, say your name is La Tourniere or some shit, and you're tired of spelling it for people. What's wrong with just "Turner?" It's not like La Turner is going to France and people say, HAwN HAWN HAWN, look 'ow 'e kept ze LA, mozzerfuck we loves zat fellow French bastard!" Keep La Tourniere, or go full Turner, you wishy-washy chipmunk. Prolly fixin to quit, aren't you?
  14. I'm OK with being from a different country than MTG. But I was born before they decanted her, and in Georgia. I call dibs on America. Let her squat in her rotten borough. She's good for ten new Democrat votes elsewhere every time she barks.
  15. Most likely because people had big families, and it would cost another Union soldier for every Second-Try-Confederate they had to hunt down. Andrew Johnson offered amnesty (probably Lincoln would have done the same,) they accepted their pardons and swore oaths of loyalty, then ranged from Acting Right to Being Insanely Violent Dickheads in the following years. Jeff Davis did a little time, but never got the trial he wanted so he could weasel out of a wee bit of treason. Feds were probably like "pound sand and eat your prison food, Mr. Imaginary President." About those former Confederates who went to Mexico, Brazil, Central America, and who knows where else, I imagine they knew what happened to failed rebellions, and they didn't know that the hang-em-high faction up north wouldn't prevail. Also, there was a fair amount of war-criming depending on when and where they fought. It'd be just their luck to go back to Old Kentucky and run into some guys who Knew What You Did Last Summer.
  16. We both know I don't have that power. More likely to imitate you than oppose you.
  17. Say what you will, but kudos to her for rocking a Philosoraptor-background dress.
  18. Eh. Clunky joke, but not a felony. The real knee-slapper is that everybody gets to deal with their own personal cancer, unless they croak of something else first.
  19. Reporting from Western North Carolina where we are currently visiting family. Googled "coin shops" and they appear to be almost as common as drug stores around here. I'm talking every 5 or 10 miles especially as you get near Asheville. Asheville, while growing, is still far from huge. I suppose it's all the retiree money. I doubt I'll have time to explore this trip, and metal is high anyway, but on a future visit I'd definitely be down for a store-to-store crawl. Maybe a lurking Surlster who lives here can take up the banner and pull it off.
  20. Imagine what he could do if he would just wake up.
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