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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. You'll be singing a different tune when I convince the mummy to spare us.
  2. I doubled-majored plus took a ton of extra stuff on top of that, and I will out-waste any single-major person every day and twice on Sunday, good sir.
  3. I would have to look at her sisters. Oh wait-- she was born in New Hampshire. Probably married into the Morrows. Anyway, with 23andMe "You've got new relatives," I have no need for her.
  4. A North Carolina Morrow. No doubt a distant cousin. Yet I feel no urge to make sweet sweet love to her.
  5. I once read a statute that you can't stick anything in a mailbox without a stamp. Something like $7,500 fine for an individual and $15,000 for an organization. Judging from the amount of crap I get I doubt it's enforced. But still, unless the first guy's flyer was stamped, they're both a couple of law-breaking dorks. Seems like thievery in or near a mail box would be a little worse.
  6. OK, this morning I woke up to the lovely Mrs. Canecutter bringing me coffee. I had just been dreaming something about being in Costa Rica feeding kibble to monkeys, so I told her about it. She came back with a long detailed dream that she just had, where something big had happened, and she and I were crossing the country headed west to California, on scooters. Mine was a Ruckus covered in saddlebags. We were financing the trip by selling off our silver to MAGA types with ashtray voices who were mocking us, saying "Y'all used to look down on us for buyin REAL money, now you wish you'd bought more yourself." We still had a handful of gold two-peso coins stashed away. We were on scooters because by the time of the dream they no longer needed registration. We were on county highways because the US ones have cameras. We were going to California because it was affordable. All the jobs had gone. Except for one Chemistry job that she was going to take. Unrelated, she thinks some of her East European ethnic Magyar crew might have been Gypsies who changed to something else in America.
  7. He'd go after that granny just like the Black and Tans he would.
  8. No doubt. That trend has been going for a good 60 years now. I remember "helping" my Dad work on our Impala back in the early 70s and it looked like there was space enough to crawl in next to the engine and take a nap. Then 80s Toyotas were simple to work on, but you had to subcontract a 5-year-old to reach some of the bolts. 90s saw widespread reliability with a last gasp of simplicity.
  9. The only person who deliberately tried to scam me of eBay was a Christian musician. I know because I looked his ass up on social media. Fucker tried to blame the church secretary for not mailing the (nonexistent) package. He mighta had the Church on his side, but he didn't have a tracking number. Win one refund for the heathens.
  10. Be kinda funny if she won, and every opportunistic valet/dancer/bartender tries to romance her for the loot like something out of a 1930s detective story.
  11. I am befuddled why people would want to save money on the gas instead of the car. But yeah, German engineering, love it or don't, do NOT play games with it.
  12. So hubs wasn't getting it done and she was looking for a sugar daddy? Did you take her to Applebee's and let her pick any dessert? Pics? Did she leave crazy voice mails?
  13. On Days of Sloth I'll turn on the app just to preserve my streak as I sit on my ass drinking coffee. Without me moving, it will give me credit for 4 or 5 hexes as it zones in on me. Sometimes I can stretch my arm out and claim yet another one. Exercise.
  14. Get together with the other helicopter moms, and all agree to just shove your kids out into the yard and tell them to play. Like, make up a game or some shit.
  15. I think my son was about 9 when he stopped wanting to go to McDonalds. Maybe 10, I dunno. Anyway, too bad 8 year-olds can't vote, they'd love that McD Trump photo op.
  16. You didn't tell me we were fightin in a basement.
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