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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Driving through backwoods Normandy with a French friend, I saw a hulk of an ancient castle. Asked him "why is that here?" He said "To keep YOU out!" The French still see the British and Americans as the same annoying longbowmen. Surely it's no stretch for the Chinese to throw all red-hair barbarians in the same wok.
  2. So when Elon drove Cybertruck around Austin, did he zig here and zag there, yknow, seeing the sights, or did he drive AROUND Austin, as in encircle it strategically like unto J.E.B. Stuart riding around the entire Union Army? And did he wear a plume while he was driving? And is Cybertruck known as Cybertruck with no "the" or "a", indicating that it is a real person the same as Bonfire?
  3. MAGA-chatter indicates that RFK is a favorite if they can't have Trump. The shared religion of conspiracies must wash away the sin of being a Democrat.
  4. Maybe his parents have two million dollars?
  5. Huhuh... I am about as expert as a freshman smoking the whole blunt so I can loosen up for that exam in the morning. I was a Private with an idea, and a Lieutenant with a map.
  6. I saw a Marker today, he was a strong Communist, a big Marker Communist, tough guy, he walked up, tears in his eyes, he walks up to me, and he said "Sir, Sir, Mr. Canecutter Sir, I don't know what I'll do. Trump denied all us Markers access to the cunny and now I'm afraid I'll get hairy palms and go blind, Sir, I don't know..." So I cut him off: "Hey you crybaby snowflake Marker, first off, that's TWO-TERM PRESIDENT Trump, and your foreign-ass Marker bitch-self should be used to your monobrow hairy women so what's the problem with you growing hairy palms? Scared you're going to get stuck to one o' those gals like velcro? Well good because if you can't use your hands because they're stuck to your mamacita's hairy back then you won't be able to steal the roofing jobs that Real Americans went to grad school so they could do them LEGALLY." "OH, and another thing, if you go blind, I hate to see anybody go blind, because it's SAD like some blind guy in the subway I have to step around because he's slow, SO SAD, but going blind in YOUR CASE might actually give you a chance to TRULY SEE, freed from your lying Marker eyes. You should crawl to the President and thank him, crawl, LIKE A DOG."
  7. Both the Russians and the Ukrainians seem fond of sending unsupported lone tanks to bang around in close terrain where a real army's infantry would bite them. The Ukrainians are now a real army, but even in the early days they were crazybrave with the anti-tank weapons so we saw all those videos of the Russian tanks not getting away with it. The Ukrainians tanks appear to get away with it vs poorly-motivated Russians.
  8. Back in the 90s I was in a Natl Guard summer drill observing people doing stuff that even my rookie eyes thought looked untactical. I said to my buddy, Johnnie Mack who'd been a door-gunner in Viet-Nam, "Johnnie Mack, what do you think would happen to these fuckers in a real war?" Johnnie Mack, who could have been a stunt-double voice actor for Johnnie Cash, said "I reckon half of em would get killed, and the other half would start learnin." Now these are Russians, so I reckon 3/4 get killed before anybody starts learnin, but my point is we should expect the casualty rate to slow for no other reason than the the most foolhardy tankers are gone.
  9. The banned chapter of "Goldilocks."
  10. Just going off the culture being equal parts lying, drinking, and stealing, I'd say they put everything that runs in Ukraine, and every day they have less of it. If their NATO borders are like their own borders with Ukraine, tanks oughta be thin on the ground. They didn't have tanks close to the border of a country they're in a shooting war with, allowing the Rebel Russians to Romp for a few days. Far as I know, no tanks confronted Wagner when they loped halfway to Moscow. Maybe they've got some tanks down south to keep the Chechens in control. As to the Chinese border, who knows? I wonder if the Chinese army's stuff is more real than Chinese apartment buildings in Ghost cities.
  11. If you are a surviving Russian tanker at this point, either you're a genius, God loves you, or you need to desert and go straight to Vegas. Wonder if they could have puzzled out some re-invention of wet stowage. Probably just short of boom-boom ammo like you said.
  12. He doesn't have to learn Polish or Ukrainian. He gets to learn Polish or Ukrainian. From some kindly local who has legs that walk up multiple flights of stairs several times a day, and who appears capable of nursing little Nathan Arizona.
  13. Seems like keeping the money for not getting a penis surgery and using it to make your wallet bigger would solve a lot of bedroom issues.
  14. I'd take an AI-generated Joe Biden over whatever the Violent Clown Brigade rallies behind. Hell, I'd take an old shoe. I'm talkin an abandoned pair-less single 1970s buckskin hippy shoe left out in the rain so the leather turned into stiff cardboard, and the crepe sole is all unglued and flapping open at the toe, so it'd trip you if you walked in it but you can't because you only have one. You can't even convert it into a dog chewtoy because you're afraid it would poison the dog. That shoe. That's who I'd vote for. Because that shoe wouldn't make anything worse.
  15. Way too big. Need something indistinguishable from a finger.
  16. Dion DiMucci, aka the male twin of Casey DeSantis.
  17. Why is Mike Pence hanging out with people from the CiCi's Pizza buffet?
  18. Latest scan shows no changes, knock on forehead. Only thing I did different was not be as slack as I was with taking the Inlyta. Before, I'd skipped it whenever it gave me the shits, which it will that's a whole new level from a Mexican vacation. But this time I tightened up and popped those cancer-killin pills, and lived life knowing where the bathroom was at all times. Still managed not to make it onto the shart thread again. Went by and gave the infusion nurses a hug, it's been almost half a year now since I last got juiced up.
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