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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. I've decided 2 things. #1: childhood concussions have no long-term effect. #2: I'll think of it in a minute.
  2. You haven't arrived until the Salvadorean lady working the gas station food cantina recognizes you from when you stopped at a different gas station where she used to work, and your "snack" turns into a stuffed box of free extras. [struts stage left, struts stage right, belches]
  3. Oh, and Cornish miners moved to Pachuca in the 1800s, revived the flooded Spanish silver mines, and introduced soccer. Every time you hear a Mexican announcer say "GOOOOOOOL," that goes back to dusty Cornishmen in Pachuca/factfortheday
  4. OK, turns out this crew was from Pachuca. They were going at it a man short for an 18-hour day then finished up early this morning. Looks good, heavy rain rolling in so I guess we'll see, but I like our odds. One time they took a break and I topped em up with Gatorade and found out about Pachuca, but did not feel it the moment to ask about DeSantis*. They went at it hammer-and-tongs and we were lucky to know them. *Because it was a perfectly nice day and Fuck DeSantis.
  5. When I was about 15, I went through a stretch where I didn't wash my hair. Nasty lil bastard. Got good n greazzzzy. Another kid made fun of me in class, and I gave in, went home, washed my hair, and developed better hygiene. I see that Paul Gosar is stronger willed than I was.
  6. That'd be like just giving the Sudetenland to Trump, maaaaan.
  7. I think she did do the quick nasty, it's running down her leg, and she can't think about anything else.
  8. Having trouble believing that even while sleeping, not one Page had a phone on.
  9. DeSantis dials up Jack Smith 3 times a day with hints and suggestions.
  10. 25 people? A common class size. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Hello Class, I'm Mr. DeSantis, you can call me Mr. D, and I need you all to listen up because I'm going to call the roll. After I call the roll, tell me if your name was not on the roll and we'll make a note to the office. After the roll we'll discuss the Woke Narra-- I mean The Narrative and you'll need to put your phones up and get ready to write some notes. Then we'll-- "Scuse me Mr. D." Can it wait til the roll? "I don't know, Mr. D." Well (sigh) what's your name? "wha-- Are you taking roll?" [long slow breath] Yes. Taking roll just for you. What's your name? "Jerry." OK, Jerry, what seems to be the problem. "Did you say your name was also Mr. Scott?" Mr. Scott? As in Tim Scott? Yes. Yes, you've got me. I am obviously he. "For real?" [head bobbles] No not for real, are you deaf? I said first thing that my name is DeSantis. "Well where is Mr. Scott's speech?" what- ah-eh I DON'T KNOW. Do I look like I run Tim Scott's campaign? Maybe check out in the hall, see what it says on the events bulletin board. "Mr. D?" YES [checks notes] Jerry. "Permission to be excused?" YES. YES. You are excused. Everybody's excused. Go. Go. [most of the crowd shuffles out except for Grammaw and Gum-Smacking Escort Who Follows Presidential Campaigns] Grammaw: This Tim Scott looks almost white, but he's shorter than I expected. Escort: Short or long, it's all a day at work. HEY GOVERNOR. [waves phone] I got me a Square reader that'll accept campaign expenses! Wanna come get some thigh food? [DeSantis' head bobbles, sweat trickling down forehead as camera slowly moves in and FADE]
  11. No info on the Pikes, but back in my day the Sigma Chi's were like Medici patrons of the arts in that they would commission cartoon banners and pay cash for them as well as invite the artist to eat and of course come drink beer at the party where the banner was unveiled. Usually an Otis Day and the Knights type band and lots of dudes standing around talking about what their dads did. Hi, my dad's a biker, yes I would like another beer.
  12. "Girding." Buncha Trump lawyers cinching up their Batman utility belts.
  13. Well, uh... go around to bars in quiet parts of towns in France and (twenty+ years ago) you would regularly encounter conspiracy nuts who could go toe-to-toe with our Qtards. And tons of "normal" people who, yes, may be walking past historical sites every day, but their knowledge of the world came from one or two tv shows. Also a bit of cynicism of the "You may fool ze ozzairs but you weel not fool ME!" Very Franch. Mexico runs in the same groove as France, with an extra scoop of knee-jerk cinicismo. I don't know about other countries but these two are where I lived, worked, and had byzantine theories trotted out to me. I don't think we've ever been non-dumb, but with conspiracies it's just now catching up to France.
  14. You could still go, without the bus or the other people.
  15. There's no kill shot in any of that. They need to go right to the nekkit pictures of Tubs with a greased-up Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
  16. If you try to think about something really boring while you're doing it it helps with that.
  17. So microwaving turtle bones would be a quitting-the-job power move.
  18. I see it as Guido Gov heard the Rocky Music in his head, and as Caesar he commanded the gladiators to entertain him, his Guidette Empress, and his little squirming Guido-lings.
  19. I don't give a damn about any of y'alls' sticky kids.
  20. These people are afraid to even drive downtown. And you know if they get passports that's just how the Deep State follows you like a chip in a dog. There'll be the occasional younger Lee Harvey Oswald type drifting around the Dr. Evil countries, but Ma and Pa aren't giving up that Sam's Club membership. Now where's my favorite scooter cart.
  21. Rookie. You never steal anything worth less than a year's salary.
  22. We are getting our roof redone tomorrow morning by gentlemen from all over Central America. They're supposed to be in and out fast before the oven really heats up, and I hate to distract dudes working 30' up, but I wonder how many of them GTFO of Florida.
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