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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. So, what-- are you just gonna walk laps inside the mall barefoot?
  2. [Rant, possibly not purely artistic follows. Maybe skip. ] A few years ago I got tapped to be President of an art club of mostly retired women, my job is largely ceremonial as well as to get arrested if somebody runs off with the club money. They were happy having one over-wrought show a year with judges and prizes and various frippery. Cool. Nice hobby. So the past year I've been going chainsaw-murderer on weekend shows not connected to this club, where folks show up at various places (often big breweries) and sell art as if that were their job, because it is. I made friends with lots of good younger artists, which is what my Old Lady Club needs, and occasionally encourage someone to join. On the other hand, I talked the Old Lady Club into trying one of these brewery shows, stripped of extras, just show up and sell sell sell. They actually got into it, and we've attracted some younger people as well to become new members. So I wake up to a chain email of Old Lady Club Officers discussing the threat of Dark Powers and Witchcraft. I mean, the only people I know who act like a witches' coven are our club officers, but apparently a new woman, about 30, probably invited by me, has applied to join. She does animal prints and portraits and Dali-esque melting object paintings. But they have decided she is Dark and a Witch and maybe that goes against club policies I don't give a rat's ass what she believes. She shows art in one of those boring little shops full of incense and pentagrams, not exactly tied into anything deep. And the people critiquing her include some lying cheating bitches who believe any conspiracy that brushes their eardrums. My first reaction was TGTFOutta there. But my baby, the brewery show I talked them into doing, is Sept. 16th and I wanna go there and make some fuckin money. So I limited my response to "I can't believe y'all are scared of [alleged witch of Endor.]" Then I guess if September 17th comes and this batshittery is still bubbling by then, peace out. [/Rant]
  3. I haven't found anything that quite matched the soul-sickness of working in College Station, but a Travis Tritt concert in Macon Georgia might have a great shot at snatching the silver medal.
  4. It's actually pretty easy to get paid people to act enthusiastic; Chick-fil-A does it 6 days a week. Anybody with even average charisma could have said hello to that crowd, told em a short funny story, then split them into two teams competing for the certificate for Most Enthusiastic. The wet blanket here is Meatball, lacking even the leadership skills that a Kindergarten aide needs to get through hangover day. He probably beat whatever enthusiasm they had out of them.
  5. I wonder how they think that would work out for them? Probably with lots of other people obediently doing the dangerous parts. Well, maybe they'd command a Home Guard unit that would round up some Sociology Professors trying to infiltrate the Cracker Barrel mess hall by driving up in a VW van with poorly-disguised flower stickers. Then their likeness would go straight to the Franklin Mint chess set, probably as a rook or a bishop.
  6. I dunno, it's a good sized truck with a Punisher sticker. Whoever drives that must be like chicken-fried James Bond awesome.
  7. Hey, if the people in that pueblo didn't worship false gods, they would have understood.
  8. Oh it's gotta move otherwise it's like that awkward date down at the morgue.
  9. BWAHAHA, remember it well. When Saban successfully iced the kicker you could hear Tommy's chicken-neck snap. Local Aubies were getting weepy about Saban icing out that poor little baby boy kicker like it's church league ball or some shit. I'm "fuck it, he's a kicker, he probably actually went to class and has a fall-back plan like worming puppies or some shit."
  10. You've done enough talking already, Jack.
  11. She who controls the camera angles controls reality.
  12. If it was spotted in Georgia, that means it just flew past somebody's head in Mississippi while they were absorbed in their phone.
  13. I don't care how cheap it is, I don't want to see Brisket stick things in his butt.
  14. Ah, Vasil, you were doing so well, attaching those skimmers to gas pumps, and making the waitresses give you a kick-back from their tips... but you just had to go "Big Time, Cash Moneys," dintya, dintya?
  15. Is this Captain Jack Sparrow dressed up as a time-traveling cowboy?
  16. Dunno, but vehicles driven in the field rapidly become coated in dust and muck and I suspect anything sensitive would get stomped by a Private's boot anyway.
  17. Woulda been more than a decade but he was afraid o them chompers.
  18. Jug-Ears pulled two points worse than Trump, whatever that means. Probably nothing better than losing the potential Harvey-Updike-imitator vote. Though I do know one Goldwater Girl who flipped over to Jones because "he did a good job and I didn't want to vote for that football coach." Now that Tubs has been blamed for jacking up Space Force and the military in general, the Tech Warlords of Huntsville will probably raise up a get-things-done primary challenger. Might not matter unless Tubs smears more feces around or starts leching on 14-year-olds; Huntsville is a great place for getting an aerospace job, but for dominating state politics, not so much. In any case, we'll get to game it in entertaining fashion whenever he's in the next Republican primary.
  19. ^this. The rules are being gamed so even if Tubs comes around, there'll be another nut from somewhere else doing the same thing. I don't really care that he moved to Florida, I just wish he'd moved farther away than that.
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