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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. At this point I just cackle as it bounces more than double when I got into it and it was "high."
  2. Only if I get to play tambourine and keep half the money.
  3. I dunno. Even as a cynical tween there was a certain wonder to sitting in a ring of folding chairs and watch several women bust loose in outbursts of strange languages. Missed out on snakes though.
  4. [Fingers in ears]NA NA NA NA NA NA That part's not in it that part's not in it NA NA NA NA[/]
  5. I don't really know Greek, but I do know a bunch of intricate cusswords you can use back at her.
  6. Have memorized a paragraph in Gaelic describing the scam for Scottish Zoom class later today. Gonna knock em deed.
  7. So you're saying it's still available????
  8. And you were the communistical control-freaks trying to deny him his freedom.
  9. A'ight, SITREP as of now. Everything is bolted shut, I'll get my money back before long. Credit Union called me up, knew where their CU was located and knew how to say the funny street name, and walked me through the account-unfucking process. Then I called the cops to make a police report, and the desk person said she'd send one to my house. Immediate panic as I jumped up and got dressed, then 5 minutes later I met the dude outside in my driveway. No prob, he gets these reports every day. I walk him back down to the street. Neighbors come outside all bug-eyed, I slap my wrists together behind my back and yell "Call my lawyer! CALL MY LAWYER" while Cop cackles. Next stop hit the library to use their printer for the Affidavit of Forgery, because yeah, I could spend 90 dollars on ink cartridges for my home printer, or I could drive to the library. A librarian I know is also a notary. As she stands next to me I realize that I threw on clothes I'd worn to two shows this weekend in 90+ heat, and I am currently emitting a wino stress-sweat all up over her. Thanks, Scammers. Anyway, now I attached photos of everything and sent it to the credit union, basically swearing that I didn't steal my own money so I can get it back. I feel like I haven't slept right for days. And now my wife sends me a checklist of more stuff to secure. She's probably right. I am tired as hell.
  10. I ain't clickin a DAMN thing.
  11. I appreciate the sentiment. If all goes well I'll be inconvenienced for a few days, and a bunch of checks* will become obsolete. *Yes, checks. Many art shows collect local taxes it little envelopes, and prefer checks. Yes, you can also stuff the envelopes with bills and change. You cannot pull out your phone and go boop boop boop to pay. Not yet anyway. I am sure the in the near future there will be an app for that, as well as rogues from Calcutta pretending to work for that app.
  12. Argentina's been doomed since Rosas. I'd probably like it there.
  13. I need to adopt my Mom's technique from back in the 90s. They'd pester her on the phone, she'd tell everybody "Just mail me the info." It shut down land-slides of shit.
  14. Leaving my black 4Runner out in the rain cleaned it up lickety-split.
  15. ^^^Gospel Truth.
  16. If you don't answer the phone, how will I hire you to parachute into this scammer compound with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a rusty bayonet in the other?
  17. The real Elvis would care. And then he'd sing a song that brought everybody together.
  18. I didn't up my game as fast as they upped theirs. I've had credit cards hacked that we caught later, credit union's good at catching it before it goes crazy. But that was hacking. This is the first time I got talked into it. Guess it's time to subscribe to Franklin Mint collectible plates.
  19. 12 year old pickpocket says "Gor blimey Guvnah, sure I can play the drums" to the recruiting sergeant with the shiny shilling.
  20. Have you seen the ads for phone games where people sit around getting hundreds of dollars a day playing online solitaire?
  21. Thanks. Luckily this password was very different from my usual ones, which go--- Ha! Almost got me. You're good mannnn, real good.
  22. Are you my friend? How can I give you money? JSYK, I'll need a day or two to set up a new account.
  23. I worked assembly line in a pump factory. It was hot, sweaty, and naisty. But it didn't involve waking up at 2AM to go ram my arm up inside a cow's pussy to try to turn a calf around. I mean, I used to clean sump pumps in a sewage plant and [RDCanecutter pompously boasts of other dirty jobs turning sepia in his mind's eye] but none of em involved ramming my arm up inside a cow's pussy.
  24. Fooled. Pantsed. Suckered. I am used to flushing out the run of the mill Calcutta boiler room flunky. Guys who claim they're from my credit union but don't know which state it's in. But like Bama playing a year of Chattanoogas, I got punched in the gut coming up against real competition. They had texted me a couple of days ago from my credit union's number, as my credit union does any time I do an unusual transaction. Something about somebody trying to log in fron a second phone #. Type "No" if it's not you. "No." Forget about it. They'd laid the groundwork that they and I were working together, against crime. I shoulda called back to talk to a person, but I get this stuff a fair amount as I roam the land. Tonight I get a call about the same "infiltration" attempt. Person on the phone, vague American accent, slightly huffy. No doubt AI looking back. When I ask them where my credit union is, they misdirect and answer something else. Happens twice. Third time they tell me the town, Obvious now that they stalled and googled it. This is where I fumbled the ball, shoulda just hung up. At the very least, say bye and then call my credit union's number on my own. But for some reason thinking I just had a snitty employee on the phone that I had offended, I kept talking. After all, they were just trying to help me. For the rest of it I was a sheep led to slaughter. They texted me a log in to my account, me, brain turned off, signed in. Then (to howling laughter now) they explained how they'd be contacting the Feds as well as state authorities, so maybe don't log in for a day or two as they'd be looking for pings to hunt down the suspect and they didn't want me to muddy the trail. Even in my brain-washed state my instincts said "Wut th'FUCK" at that, while my rational brain said "No, stop that, they're trying to HELP us..." About 5 minutes later I get a call back from a very human, slightly frazzled person who says she's credit union security. She knows where my credit union is, she sounds like she lives there, and she knows how to pronounce the weird street name it's on, I'm still burnt but I wave her into the compound. Turns out the bastards were running transactions through my credit card into my checking, about 2,000 at a time, she put a hold on it before it got astronomical. Now my bank account is locked up. In the morning I'll call the credit union and we'll do the good ol' police report/start a new account thing. Got got gotdammit. I had a simple trick for sussing out scammers, they failed the test, and I let em in the door anyway.
  25. Ben bon, je me branle en l'écoutant.
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