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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. Fuck that fuckin shit. Nuke the shit out of it.
  2. Army. So if I could think up a clever come-back, I would.
  3. Work it out with a Magic Missile/ Fireball duel at dawn.
  4. Whoever got royalties for the SEC sticker must have been starving to death before Aggy showed up. Now they and their kids are driving around in lifted Bentleys with gold-plated toilets inside. Aggy luv SEC sticker.
  5. Good to see that Michael Jackson's old nose doctor is still getting work. In her case maybe he actually added flesh to make her human form more believable.
  6. If you're going to snark about my family, sir, do try to get it right.
  7. Glad to see that the neighborhood is no longer black and white like it was in January.
  8. Suits make sense if you're piddling down to the pub in Wales or some shit. Down Mexico-way (and I am including all the Mexican bits like DR or Costa Rica etc) the only guy in a suit I remember seeing was cranking an old-timey music box.
  9. Glancing through this thread, it occurs to me that we aren't even giving this Trump person a chance.
  10. Where in Alabama are you two from? We might be kin.
  11. Gold is squeakingly close to 3,000. Completely arbitrary number, but I bet many of Those Who Want To Sell will do so if it bumps it. Me, I'll just lay low.
  12. Yep. Once he got to a certain level in high school we had him study with a trumpet professor from granddad's college. He also picked up a bunch of paid gigs at churches that way.
  13. I don't want to burn fossil fuels, so I just order them from DoorDash.
  14. First you make a roux. Then you have the maternal grandfather be a music professor and skilled trumpet player himself. Other than that, he pretty much did the regular band type stuff, except he was really good at it, with a wolf-like killer instinct compared to the other puppies. As in, if he missed one note in a recital, he'd go off to an empty room and redo the piece as many times as it took to get it right, even if nobody else was listening. It came from inside him.
  15. What you do is double everybody's Social Security check. This will keep them from noticing that you've Argentina'd the dollar down to a 1/4 of its 2024 value.
  16. I've had a soft spot for Guadalajara ever since I got busted spectacularly for lying about having a hotel reservation when all the places were packed, and instead of making us go sleep in the park, the clerk found us a suite at the hotel next to the train that runs to Tequila. She apologized that it would run us 30+ bucks.
  17. Send a long letter, get back a post card, Times are hard.
  18. I used to be pretty good at scales on a trombone. I should have been-- I practiced them at least a half-dozen times.
  19. Lean in, and make your own fun. Start talking about Federal overreach, and when they start nodding, point out that slavery is mentioned multiple times as a normal thing in the Bible.
  20. My son just auditioned at Julliard today. He already got accepted at a couple of other good places. This was his "swing for the fences" moment. 4 years ago he had stopped playing music.
  21. We here at The Canecutter School do not lower ourselves to discussions of tuition, salary, or curriculum. You know your child is a little monster. We know he's a little monster. The difference is, we are willing to put up with him, possibly. Simply send what you feel is a reasonable gift to The Canecutter School. Allow 4-6 weeks for the cheque to clear, and for our private detectives to conduct background investigations into your particular Faulknerian House of Horrors. If all works out for your child's acceptance, you will realize that when you find the little darling's chambers empty in the morning, possibly with signs of a struggle depending on how spirited the lad is. For the next few blessed years you will know peace, with regular Christmas cards adorned in cursive that we beat into the little savage. He will also learn horseback riding, fencing, and Latin. More importantly, he'll be gone. When you do see him again, you shall behold a creature transformed. You may espy him torturing a mouse, or pushing a beggar off the sidewalk, but it's a small price to pay for the impression he makes at the club. Perhaps you think back to when you were writing the gift cheque, how for a moment you felt cheap, and almost left two zeroes off the sum. Ah, how fortunate that you did not.
  22. Considering that it made you blurry about which month you were there, I believe you.
  23. Donald Trump is a character from 1700s Britain. Imagine a syphilitic rake ensconced in a rotten borough, mixed up in schemes designed to stay ahead of gambling debts, clearing off yeoman farmers from land he never visits so he can cheat the shepherds, as a last resort he joins a regiment but hires a replacement when they leave London. If by bad luck he has to command troops, the sergeants get them to form square while he lolls drunk in the saddle.
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