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RDCanecutter

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by RDCanecutter

  1. So you mean the Texians were winning, but then George and Jesus led an unstoppable bayonet charge screaming "Viva Santa Anna!"?
  2. Hey, since AI can and will do everything we used to have to study for, what do y'all think about just redefining college away from anything practical, just a social class bump where 19-year-olds can mingle and share a tribal identity? I'd still include a few courses just so they have to try to function after closing the bar. My choices are Latin, Fencing, and Horseback Riding. Discuss.
  3. Hey, I may be ignunt, but I'm damn good-lookin.
  4. Oh, and apparently this Dexamethasone they gave me to keep the tumor from dropping me in a conniption fit, plus the tumor itself, have leaned onto my body to make me a fully-functional diabetic in the past few days. I got this news while I was sitting out on the deck scarfing down a huge slice of home-made bread. I pitched it over the garage, maybe into our neighbor's back yard. Cole slaw, meat, fish and water, and maybe a nice glucometer from the drug store after I exercise my diabetic ass off walking there.
  5. Something you do for one, you have to do for the next thousand who ask. Another thing a rookie teacher will learn is that students you helped will Stab You In The Back by telling other professors or admin, often in an aggressive way, that you bent a rule so why won't they. Wormy little fuckers. I did allow one student from my French class to disappear with full credit, because she was going to France for a month with her mom and daughter after her husband had moved in with his mistress. It was Mexico, and I felt that she needed a break. Veterans, especially combat veterans get extra slack in my classes. They seldom need it, but if they do, screw the rules. Also, I think every SLO (Student Learning Outcome) I ever wrote has been an obvious fake. But they all made Admin happy.
  6. They're cheating the fuck away no matter what, giving one exam just makes it easy. Check into Chegg, it's full of everybody's tests. Mrs. Canecutter uses a program that spits out similar chemistry problems but they all have different variables. She dances on their academic graves when they copy answers from the wrong test. Once, early in my first Hell Job (teaching 9th graders with no training) I laid a whammy on their cheating ways. I gave them a multiple-choice test that appeared to be two versions- one had a cartoon dog at the top, the other had a cartoon flower. There were actually 4 versions that I had collated so when I handed them out, nobody had the same version as anybody near them. All answers were similar length. Told em not to copy. BWAHAHAHAHAH Got back A's, B's, and a shit-load of low F's. "Why did I get it wrong when Derek got it right?" "You had two different answers. Let's go over why this answer was the one." Did the same thing a couple of times more until they learned that Mr. Canecutter was evil and crazy. Then I would just make one version, but with 4 different pictures at the top. Maybe somebody clued in. But that's OK, they were thinking.
  7. Got me an appointment with the brain zapper tomorrow. I am ready to go, I'd push the button myself if I could. Bolt me in, fire up the Saturn V. In more mundane activities, I got some free pills from CVS this morning. I always have them print out that long receipt full of Confederate money, and I hit a lucky streak and won 10 free Payday fun-size bars at not even a one cent cost to me. So I gave half of them to the pharmacy crew. You never know if they can hit that thing just right to make it happen again.
  8. I did that with a couple of third-year language classes. If you are going to make Spanish boring, I'll just go study Arabic on my own in the library. My worst case was some Spanish Lit class taught by a Cuban Gentleman who'd been knocked down in the world getting away from Castro. I actually liked the dude, but it was early in the morning, the room was cold, the girls were unattractive, and we just took down notes and I didn't fucking FEEL like it, OK? So I disappeared. Dude thought I had died when I showed up for the Midterm. There was no attendance policy, I had checked. I had done a color-coded study guide that let me ace it. Next class, even though I made an A, he informed me that he couldn't give me better than a B when all these soggy dumbasses (my words not his) had been dragging in regularly. IDReallyGAF, B's get degrees, and I had busted the code. So I dragged in a few more times, all about respect yo. Maybe got a B after all. But I asked myself, Señor Cubanismo de Habana, I show up for you, doing an excellent imitation of how Cubans do School, and you're gonna go all Anglo-Saxon on me? I wake up screamin like I'm back over there.
  9. And they'll come back with their hot teacher and some baguettes on the back.
  10. May I suggest leaving school-age children in Europe for their education? They'll be able to skip all the want, it all comes down to one big exam instead of constant busy work. Plus, they'll learn how to fight.
  11. Professor Taco Bell kicks ass and takes names.
  12. White Supremacist, huh? He got some bad branding advice-- he could have been a big deal in the Vampire cosplay world.
  13. My NSF course, by the end they had us riding around like trained circus animals doing circus tricks. Except for the dudes who didn't listen. They got let go. One of their techniques saved me from a bingle the very day after the course.
  14. If she's really rich, why doesn't she have live-in servants to prepare her something better than Instacart ground-beef Tex-Mex? #30000DollarHeiress
  15. Mama take de live crawdad, th'ow it in a pot o' bawlin wawta.
  16. Missed a great opportunity to give it a Millennium Falcon dash-board rap.
  17. I do. They seem quite competent, unlike Hero Driver of story. Go hold him, comfort him, whisper words of managerial wisdom a hair's breath away from his sweaty ear-lobe.
  18. We don't order shitty food from guys who can't get real jobs, Pussy McPussins.
  19. What makes you think the guy is a rapper? Maybe he just naturally rhymes.
  20. I'm mission-oriented but I'm gonna need more meth.
  21. What if they feel that they cannot raise their sword against their fellow Californians?
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