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Posts posted by RDCanecutter
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18 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:
Makes sense. But still I don't understand the entire idea of turning over your DNA to a company for some laughs.
I did it because a nice lady showed up who thought she was my half-sister. Her high school photos looked like a better-looking female me. Turned out we're cousins, so I don't know if we're supposed to get married now, or just shack up.
My test confirmed that I am a Big White Dude, which will be helpful for anybody who is picking me up from the airport and is looking for the Big White Dude.
If it helps catch a 4th cousin who's running around killin and rapin, fine by me. He should have upped his game.
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2 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:
I really don't understand why one sibling would ask their sibling to take the DNA unless you want to find out your mom strayed at some point. Wouldn't two siblings have the same ancestry? Or why a mom and dad, who've taken the dna test, then ask their kids to do so. Why not just burn a $100 bill instead.
You get half from mom and half from dad, but it probably won't be the exact same half from each. Entire sections of your ancestry could be missing in your dna, but show up in siblings, and vice-versa.
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7 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:
Does no one talk to their old relatives any more?
You mean, like, look up from the phone?
I had a great aunt and a gramama who could freestyle family stories of amazing detail. long after their deaths, I got holt of old photos that basically confirm everything. But they wouldn't have made much sense without the background stories.
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2 hours ago, South Austin said:
We're going to my wife's family in East Texas for Christmas and taking our dog. It's about a 4.5 hour trip, and every time she throws up on the way. Even if we don't feed her before we hit the road she still vomits. We always end up stopping at Buc-cee's in Madisonville and buying a new towel for the inside of her crate. Would a mild sedative help? I've read that benadryl might also make them sleepy and calm. Tips?
On these road trips, which variety of shitty music do you blast through the car?
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32 minutes ago, longhornmatt said:
I mean, I wouldn’t start a thread about this woman, but this is nowhere close to a low for him. Perhaps a high, even.
S'wut I'm saying. Softball girl has athletic ability, social skills, accomplishments. No children crawling on the linoleum covered in dried mac n cheese.
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5 hours ago, slorch said:
Pork patty was the best freaking meal during that time.
It's a dire indictment of the entire catalog.
I say it was the safest. The pork patty was like the surface of the moon. No E Coli could live there.
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Glitters fine, and all, but it'd be cooler if it sprayed out a couple thousand baby ticks.
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1 minute ago, TwiceHorn said:
Exactly. Let's paint an organization made up of hundreds of units and thousands of individuals based in two anecdotes.
Counterpoint: Charles Whitman was a Floridian.
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1 hour ago, Asithappens said:
What?
My god, was that guy retarded? I would have had a difficult time not laughing in his face and asking if he went to a&m.
Did he honestly believe that or was it just some motivational tool?
He was from a different world. Probably played with lumps of coal during the Blitz, and here he is shepherding a pack of whiny little Yanks down a perfectly good road in nice weather, and they're complaining, again.
I doubt he literally believed any of it. Looking back on some of the routes we hiked, he most likely wanted us to finish the last quarter mile so he could turn us back over to our parents, go home, and slam a beer.
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1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:
Nobody ever molested me, though. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
Here's a nice mixed drink I made for you.
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Colonoscopy
in Lulz
27 minutes ago, Hate said:I've got my consult scheduled in a couple of hours, so I will be up for my first colonoscopy in the next couple of weeks. I'm dreading the prep and procedure, but I am looking forward to peace of mind that I'm all clear for now.
I had my first one done a month ago. Wasn't bad at all. The Prep Shits are thorough, but not as bad as food poisoning in Mexico. Not getting to eat was a downer.
They knocked me out, and then I woke up with a nice blanket and no pain. They had taken out three small benign polyps.
First place I had my wife drive me was Whataburger. Best damn Whataburger I ever had.
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[OldManStory]Cub scouts in the 60s was fun for artsy-crafty stuff. Webelos was a complete waste, sitting around a church basement getting yelled at to shut up. Boy Scouts was pretty awesome because I caught the tail-end of when it was paramilitary, we had knives and hatchets and made spears and might have thrown them at each other way out in the woods.
Our scoutmaster was from Scotland, had been in the British Army, and occasionally slipped back into that world. 20-mile-hikes up and down crags in the rain and muck, "Step it oot, lads, ye'll get more tired if ye stop and rest."
Then he left, and at the same time the BSA started some pacifist trend, going from Jonny Quest to H.R. Puffnstuff. Little girly berets. Shiny 1970s artwork on clinky little belt thingies to augment manly merit badges. Sitting around inside.
Last time I paid attention, two of my friends were forging their parents' signatures to shoot up the ranks, to the admiration of the scoutmaster. I had quit getting rank, maaaaan. But I did show the punk-ass new kids how to set up tents and build fires. I like fire.[/OMS]
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2 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:
On a more serious note. Part of scouting is that kids get out with other kids, away from their parents, and learn how to deal wIth shit on theIr own or in a team, not under the constant, watchful eye of their parents.
I went on lots of overnight trips with our son during his scouting days, but didn't go on all purposefully to allow him that time away to experience life on his own a bit more. We've become helicopter parents. Some parents go to all their precious snowflakes team practices. Jeebus get a life, let kids have their time to grow on their own a bit.
Fer sure. I'm just going worst-case, say it dies, seems like it could be resurrected on a local level, unofficially and without all the scout-branded gear.
Punk Rock Scouting.
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1 minute ago, Onboard 2.0 said:
The kids parents schedules ....... of course.
I meant parents who loved their kids.
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So say BSA goes belly-up. What would stop a group of parents from buying a few old scout manuals, and working through the projects with the kids, taking them on a hike or camp-out?
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He was right about Walmart.
I think he'll do just fine, eventually heading some edgy non-profit, or as a shock-jock DJ, or (my favorite), as personal fixer for some wheelchair-bound Daddy Warbucks who has had it with the string of bloodless MBAs he's run through, and just needs a feisty kid with a pair, who can jump walls, jimmy gates, and get things done.
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The 1980s MRE Pork Patty meal.
For those of you who did not experience it, At Ease, I'll Be On The Planet All Day. Now men, imagine giving a hobo some saltines to chew up and spit into a pot of hot lard. Now stir in some vacuum-cleaner lint, and when it boils down semi-solid, form it into a square patty, then pray to some Sumerian Demon to come zap all the moisture out of it until it squeaks like styrofoam when you bite into it.
That was the MRE Pork Patty.
The trick was to grab some other MRE than the Pork Patty, didn't matter which. You'll know who got stuck with the Pork Patty MRE because they will warble their woe. That's when you offer to trade. Not a straight-up trade, because c'mon, Pork Patty. With a little diplomacy you would get the entire Pork Patty, plus extra candy, poguey bait, whatever there was to be had. You'd get two meals worth.
I guess you could have thrown away the actual Pork Patty and still eaten well with the winnings, but not me, I loved that Pork Patty. Hit it with that mini-Tabasco bottle. Like eating a scab off a mummy's asshole. MMM.
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5 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:
But to stay on topic I'd agree whole heartedly w/ the OP's offering of The Doors. Jim Morrison reminds me of that guy you meet for the first time at a party. After he's had one drink he says something that catches your attention & makes you think "gee, that's a unique take." After his second a crowd's gathering around him as he prattles on nonsensically. An hour later he's vomiting on the rug & speaking pure gibberish, yelling at anyone who's still listening to open up their mind. Ray Manzarek deserved better.
Now see, I'd probably like the Doors if they'd stuck to pure gibberish vomiting.
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Dontcha just love when they wake you up once an hour to ask if you're OK?
Hope you have a nice boring time (unless it turns into porn time with nurse or possessed girl or both) and that your brain proceeds in normal fashion.
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Go outside and pick your own switch.
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13 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:
Whenever I hear anything by REO Speedwagon, I feel like I am a small-town girl from Kansas who married the guy who knocked me up, and he joined the Air Force, and now we live in Enlisted Quarters Housing at some base, that if not in Kansas, also looks like Kansas, and my entire life feels as if I'm standing here in the base laundromat, forever folding clothes in a cloud of laundry detergent smell, looking out the window at the brown fields.
And seemingly overnight my legs got fat as hell.
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Just now, Cheeseweasel said:
Aunt Judy?
Skylor Reece Aulthauer, is that you?
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Whenever I hear anything by REO Speedwagon, I feel like I am a small-town girl from Kansas who married the guy who knocked me up, and he joined the Air Force, and now we live in Enlisted Quarters Housing at some base, that if not in Kansas, also looks like Kansas, and my entire life feels as if I'm standing here in the base laundromat, forever folding clothes in a cloud of laundry detergent smell, looking out the window at the brown fields.
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Is anyone playing ancestor roulette for Christmas?
in Daily Texan
Posted
He is a bit wordy.