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Posts posted by closetojumping
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I hope you guys have your pitchforks sharpened. My understanding is that the guy doing the steering towards ATM is @SydneyCarton’s redass aggie relative on the staff there at LJ’s school and I’m not even joking. Solid work, bud.
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I guess I’ll go ahead and say it: Chris Ash can lick our collective asshole, pack his shit, and head for the state border.
He was a fucking bum at Rutgers. Just complete trash in every way. He showed up here with his own brand of cronyism and mediocrity by imposing inexperienced trash on the program with the Valai hire. Valai immediately sprinted out and took a hogger-sized dump on the 50 yard line of the Texas program by being worthless as a coach and a nonentity in recruiting.
Ash delivered vanilla ice cream competence. Nothing special or unique, just gave the defense a vague hint of average. Outside of some time under Meyer while surrounded by other star coaches, Ash has amounted to sad comedy at worst and meh-relevance at best. Hit the fucking bricks, buddy, we’ll take our chances in the open market.
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This thread title needs an enhancement. All Bags, No Brakes is just sitting there waiting to be taken.
I plan on launching a 2024 thread with the tag line “Show Me Your Cause” or “Martinis, They’re What’s For Breakfast” soon.
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5 hours ago, Kurt Bowels said:Did Millwee turn down Butch Jones or did he get passed over? Aren't there reports coming out now that he got passed over? Yeah, it is probably unrealistic for him to take an analyst role for one more year. Just trying to make sense of everything.
A simple fucking google search reveals the press release links for Milwee being officially announced at Arkansas State. What more is needed for shit like that.
5 hours ago, canadianhorn21 said:It's been reported Milwee isn't a big recruiting guy as well. Just a thought.
This is just repeating a stupid fucking take from Eric Nahlin who doesn’t know shit about Milwee as a recruiter. No one tracked him as a recruiter at Akron. No one can now credibly report on him from his time at Akron. He was an analyst at Bama that everyone there thought highly of and was the first guy Butch Jones, and then Sarkisian, grabbed when leaving for a position coach role. No one gets to not be aggressive in recruiting at Bama.
I am going to start happily negging every post going forward that mentions Milwee as a weak recruiter. The truth is, he might wind up being a shitty recruiter, but that will only be discovered, same as if he’s awesome at it, at Texas.
5 hours ago, Teryor said:He wasn't recruiting because he was an analyst what the fuck are we even doing at this point suggesting our QB coach isn't going on the road
"Hey Quinn Ewers, you know the guy who would be working with you on a daily basis? He would love to be here to see you but can't because he's not allowed to recruit off-campus"
Agreed. The level of stupid and just pure bizarre ignorance on this thread today, after reading and catching up is just stunning, even for this site.
Golding has gone from pure fan fiction to the de facto, matter of fact guy that Sarkisian has hired at DC, in roughly 3 days. Further, Sirmon went from a joke on this thread that looked serious to someone that the fucking $9.95ers actually started reporting on.
Joseph and Milwee are apparently coming here to be analysts.
Joseph is also apparently an underwhelming hire?
I mean, get the fuck out of here with this shit.
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31 minutes ago, Getafix said:
Aaaarrrggghhhhh. I was quickly typing while waiting on the doc during an eye exam. That’s what I get for not getting to proofread.
29 minutes ago, Texas Wahoo said:May be nothing, but may suggest The LB coach is out (as suspected).
It could just be that he should have never been recruited at Texas and was one of the slowest LBs since Dusty Renfro.
28 minutes ago, Machinator said:Not sure about that. Dele was just never a fit for the style of football player these days unless you're in the Big Ten.
I remember on the recruiting board, at some point breaking the news that during practices right after he arrived that he was clearly the slowest non-lineman on the team. Had to have been on Shaggy. Can’t remember who, but there had to have been some howling from some of the regulars back then. The poor bastard would probably all-conference at Northwestern or Minnesota or something.
13 minutes ago, texifornia said:See excuse fed to @Getafix, sir.
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7 minutes ago, Handcruser said:
I don’t think it’s been “just here”. Several “sources” have hinted about a possible change at Bama which would mean Golding might be available.Yeah, that’s covered in the thread but it is moving fast. My point is why is Surly taking this Golding shit at face value. It’s come from idol speculation on the Bama boards and the Texas gurus who don’t know shit right now. There’s no substance to the rumor.
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47 minutes ago, Machinator said:
Mike Roach on Lupoi:
Not a ton of movement on that front, but I thought I'd share where things are.
I spoke to a source close to Lupoi. I was told he has had iniital conversations with Sarkisian but nothing formal at this point as far as this source knew. Another source I spoke with said that Tosh has several options he's looking at including several NFL jobs. What he wants is a fast track to being a head coach. If Lupoi were to come to Texas, it would have to be under the DC title according to this source. Lupoi was last a DC for Alabama in the 2018-2019 season before making the move to the NFL.
There is so much baggage with Tosh Lupoi that even if he was worth consideration somewhere as a HC, he couldn’t pass a rudimentary background check. This is either just stupidly bad information being fed to Roach or just an idiotic expectation from Lupoi.
9 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:No offer means they either already have the guy - or they are waiting on their number 1 to come available.
Did they make an offer to Freeman and are waiting a response?
Are they waiting on Golding until after the title game?
Quinn, Lupoi would be available today.
Ansley, if he is an option at DC, might be worth waiting a few weeks on given the situation at Tennessee.
1) I don’t think you guys are giving proper credit to the premise that Sarkisian might simply be waiting until after the NCG to interview a few guys with Muschamp falling through.
2) Why is this “Golding is being fired at Bama” concept taking off here? It doesn’t seem grounded and it appears to have just sprung up once people started looking at who Sarkisian might steal from Bama’s staff.
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Thanks. Yeah, I’m of the opinion that, in today’s CFB world, if you’re haven’t gotten it done by year 3, you’re not going to get it done. Might be some exceptions, but I’ll stick with that premise. National guys can talk to people around a program and get a feel. Either Galloway didn’t do his homework before that rant or he didn’t want what he knew getting in the way of a good rundown. Another year of Herman and we’re looking at a two class average of probably 50-ish.
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35 minutes ago, JPETERMAN said:
And this is why the outrage from the national media, i.e. Joey Galloway is completely stupid. Giving Herman more time to turn it around was never really an option. I'll take a 1-2 day hit in the headlines all day long for not being fair or giving him enough time to turn things around. Things would only have gotten worse by retaining him, as you all know. But seeing the above is still pretty shocking tbh.
I haven’t paid attention. Has there been some sort of media blowback about Herman? What’s the Galloway story?
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2 minutes ago, Machinator said:
Arnett and Freeman are on the same tier for me. Arnett gets the edge because there's no uncertainty about the head coach / DC dynamic that Freeman and Fickell have.
Dan Quinn
Chris Ash
People that really know the college coaching ranks seem to believe that Freeman is a bad ass. If he goes to LSU, there is suspicion that part of what they may value in him is that he could replace Orgeron under certain circumstances.
1 minute ago, GTX Horn said:If Wiggins stays at Bama, would Tee Martin still be on the table? That wouldn’t be a bad consolation at all IMO.
Martin is a known dirtbag when it comes to recruiting. I'm less excited about hiring a guy with his history while his current staff is under investigation and headed to some potentially ugly discoveries that could make it a problem to have him on UT's payroll. There are better choices to be made right now.
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11 hours ago, Vertigo said:
Wut? How can a young QB coach not be into recruiting?
4 hours ago, RGBIII said:Joe Brady. Some think they are above it
4 hours ago, texifornia said:Yeah. Recruiting chops are more of a nice-to-have there, as long as they can connect with their one big target every year.
21 minutes ago, dcar00 said:its gonna be on Sark to recruit the QB. Just have to make sure QB coach is liked by the recruit.
Like with all of the other shit flying all over the place right now regarding the new staff, we should be pretty open-minded about whether or not the Milwee guy can recruit, wants to recruit, can evaluate, wants to evaluate, etc. Nahlin says shit as a matter of fact when he quite often has no fucking clue.
How do I know? Because not anyone here, not Nahlin, not any of the other "gurus" has a fucking clue how this guy recruited at Akron. Not anyone, anywhere, besides people involved with Bama on the inside know whether or not he played any kind of role in recruiting, and how effectively to boot, while serving as an analyst at Bama. One thing I do know, for certain, is that eeeeeeeeveryfuckingbody on the Bama staff is required to be aggressive on the recruiting front, unless they're a clown like Mike Stoops.
Let's at least wait a bit before we turn "AJ Milwee doesn't give a shit about recruiting/can't recruit" into a board trope. There's zero merit in it until we witness his acumen, or lack thereof, firsthand. This is the first time in his career anyone will be able to assess what kind of recruiter he actually is.
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Regarding Milwee, Arkansas State PR'd his addition as the OC on 12/28/20. If you go to their site now, you can't find shit about him. He's been scrubbed from the site. Here's the link to the coaching page: https://astateredwolves.com/sports/football/coaches . Anyway, hadn't seen this mentioned, but it obviously makes it clear that he's going to be the QB Coach.
Another thing I haven't seen discussed is whether or not the open positions have been publicly filed yet? I know the HC role is exempt from that requirement, but I was assuming the lower roles still had to do it. It would be great if they don't, but that would be news, and if they still have to be posted, has anyone tracked that?
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22 hours ago, Machinator said:
Against which team was LSU bidding?
I heard Rick Neuheisel, who apparently knows Peetz well, do everything he could to say that this was a bizarre and terrible hire for LSU - without actually saying it. This was on Full Ride with Childers yesterday morning. He had a compelling argument for what he was *not* saying but saying.
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1 hour ago, quigley said:
I don't want to overstate the problem. OU's OL will still be among the best in the nation, and may be as good or better than 2020 despite losing two guys to NFL. They have depth, and options. But they don't project to be elite like the lines from 2015 (after UT game) to 2018. Two answers to the question of why. First, the facts:
Oh man, so good. I laugh hard every time I see shit like this from sooners. They do it with a straight face.
We've got a celebrity poster among us, boy and girls! Bob Stoops has joined the Surly $9.95-er board under the handle of "quigley". Welcome, sir, and enjoy the dicks.
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For Georgia to face anything real, they had to have really fucked something up somewhere. It's plausible. They haven't been nearly as thorough in their work as the competition, but I'm still a skeptic that anything real is going to cause a significant punishment from the NCAA.
I have to wonder what the OL was asking for from these schools. Was he funneling money to an arms deal or a human trafficking ring? Since when is anyone in the SEC giving a shit about a recruiting battle? It has to be a crazy story.
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6 minutes ago, closetohumping said:
That would mean it's likely Golding
It just means the guy hasn't interviewed his candidates yet, after his first option fell through. Golding has been Saban's golden boy. I'd like to see exactly where the "Bama is firing Golding after the NT game" bullshit started. Might it happen? Sure, Saban churns through staff. Is it going to? Where did the original thread of that notion start to get pulled? It comes across as bullshit and I haven't seen any smoke from Texas or Bama on it, but maybe there's something that I missed as this thread flies by here.
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3 minutes ago, Machinator said:Nahlin knows exactly what he's doing by saying Jeff Banks has the "pole position"
Ha, reread the whole section on Banks. It's even better than that.
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I hosted a company Christmas/holiday party a few years in a row and that has created quite the stash of embarrassing shit in my liquor cabinet.
-Fireball - my staff is mostly young female and they love this crap. I've done as many shots with them as they like and I am not sure there is actually liquor in the liquor. There's a giant handle of it, half full, that hasn't been touched in two years. But, hey, you never know when an army of strippers is going to come knocking and looking for a party, so I guess I'll hang on to it.
-Butterscotch Liquor - fairly certain buttery nipples were being made. I can't think of a moment in my future where I'm going to be perusing the liquor cabinet in order to make a drink for myself and think, "huh, yeah, I could go for a few buttery nipples right now."
-Banana Liquor - I have no fucking clue why this made an appearance. We weren't making daquiris. It's oddly only about a third full. I'm hanging onto it until Fredo Corleone shows up to visit, I guess.
-Smirnoff Vodka - I just need to dump this down the sink and clear space or give it to the teenager of my asshole next door neighbor. We catered with Tito's. I assume some woman's rube of a date brought this, so hopefully she's dumped him or she's since left the business.
-Baronjager - some sort of trash honey liquor that I tasted, trying to figure out what it was and who would have brought it. It turns out, that shit is delicious, especially when ice cold, so now, that shit is mine and I'll probably restock it.
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7 hours ago, RollLeft said:Dad is a prick, sure. He deserves what this board dishes and then some. That said I'd still take Tommy if he saw the err of his/dads ways.
No, his oft-injured ass shit-talked Texas and attempted to recruit UT commits in a UT commit text string to Bama as he talked up the SEC. He can fuck off too. I hope the players flame out and have to go play for daddy at SMU to finish their two shitty careers as eventual non-entities.
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5 minutes ago, Cashcar said:Are you this much of a pussy in real life? Jesus christ....fuck off with all the negativity
It's always fun to watch people experience sarvanaash for the first few times on the boards. He makes Eeyore look optimistic and has less resolve than a bowl of jello. I believe his current handle means "puddin'" in Swahili.
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46 minutes ago, closetohumping said:He's married to an African American woman.
Staff grades:
Charlie Strong - I had his initial staff as a C, if just OC an F
Herman - initial staff was a C-
Dude, Herman's first staff was a D at best. Watson made the entire Strong era an F. If Strong had done that one thing different and actually hired an OC worth a fuck, he would have probably been here for 5 years. Not saying any longer, but an OC worth a fuck probably buys him a couple of wins in each of the first few years. It's an alternative history worth 5 minutes of thought, but I stopped there.
35 minutes ago, Bevo14 said:The whole "it's billionaires wanting to coach the football team" trope about Texas from the uninformed never gets old. The billionaires have better shit to do. They'd like to see a winner just like the rest of us, and there's no fucking harm in having a bunch of them compared to poors like programs in shitholes like Starkville. Frankly, it is impossible for any reasonably informed college football fan to review the original Strong and Herman staffs and make a credible argument that either one was "impressive." Right.
8 minutes ago, NoName said:its AMAZING how focused they are in LR on Texas and how much they talk about Texas/results/team even though the team has played how many times in the last 10 years. the general Arky fan's hatred for Texas still burns white hot in case folks were not aware.
5 minutes ago, Tex Pete said:Their fans were pretty awful in Fayetteville in 2004. Most people here have no idea how much they think about Texas.
I have a BIL that went to Arkansas and lives up that way. I can go months without hearing from him, and then something happens for the better at Arkansas or just generally with Texas, and I'm getting texted a bunch of questions and thoughts. I never hardly notice when something happens at Arkansas, and would never care enough to reach for my phone to text about it. That said, my wife and I are headed to the game this year and going with his ass and tailgating with the pigs. I've always been told that Fayetteville is a pretty place. I guess we'll see.
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Somebody go wake this motherfucker up, tell him to pack his shit, and tell him to hit the fucking road for once, since his lazy ass never did it in recruiting.
Adios. Go quit on the job without telling anyone somewhere else.
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Just now, TexasFan21 said:
Could this be a situation where he get the Co-DC tag with someone like Arnett?
You’re on to something important. Guys like Lupoi and probably Raymond are not coming, should they come, without significant title inflation and the commensurate salaries. So, maybe that is what needs to be sorted with the actually-playcalling DC, the admin, Sarkisian and the candidates. The guys already announced wouldn’t be as relevant in that regard. If you’re keeping Hutzler and bringing on Gideon and Davis, all 3 are less complicated hires than some of the other names considered for roles.
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31 minutes ago, NTVTXN said:
First, let me preface that I am pretty much the furthest from an “insider” that has ever lurked on this site. Second, I respect and appreciate a lot of what you, Machinator, and many others bring to the site.
Now that I’m done kissing your collective asses; let me offer a counter point- from reading the contributions of many on this board, S&C Coaches have long been more than just that, Strength & Conditioning coaches- They’ve been babysitters, enforcers (of punishment) and even confidante to players. Maybe, just maybe, Saban is on to something here- Two of these HAS to be better than one; no? The more eyes on the Team, the lesser the chances of a major screw up.
Perhaps the dude with the PhD and no football acumen whatsoever is really a licensed psychiatrist/therapist? Or maybe one educated in straight EQ; like a Professionally Certified Leadership/Life Coach?
Hell, let’s go contract Tony Robbins, John Maxwell or Inyala Vanzant.
#whateverittakes#allgasnobrakes
I’m with you. I think if you read further in the thread you’ll see where that is clarified.
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Sark after dark COACHING STAFF thread
in Football
Posted
This post is like salted caramel ice cream. It’s a little bit sweet, and then a little bit salty.