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closetojumping

Burnt Ends
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Posts posted by closetojumping

  1. 6 minutes ago, texifornia said:

    Bobby and the snowglobe on my desk have approximately the same chance of successfully making it through medical school and becoming a "brain surgeon"

    I will shit a golden snowglobe and set sarvanaash's keyboard on fire if Bobby Wolfe is anything but a bust by the time his loudmouthed, low impact college football career is finished. 

  2. 7 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

    I posted the link to the SPLC article.  It has numerous embedded links sourcing everything, including the Instagram post.

    Y'all aren't even trying anymore, you're just mindless trolls, supine to receive your Lord's orange cock in whatever orifice he chooses.

    I’ve found myself thinking and saying this a lot lately, but it bears saying again - you need to seek some help, man. I’ve read you for long enough to know that something isn’t right with you these days. I think your estrogen levels are off the charts or maybe you have an undiagnosed brain tumor? I don’t know. I’m not a doctor, but I can spot an unhinged, emotional fruit loop when I see one, and, well, you fit the description these days. 

    A guy cannot even aspire to visit the news board here without you fucking mewling, maudlin political fucksticks just shitting all over the current events topic with an agenda. It’s pathetic. 

    • Like 5
    • Fuck You 1
  3. 6 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

    Any ideas on the "good news" Orangebloods is hinting at? Per Floss, it's not Caldwell. 

    This was discussed earlier in the thread and the consensus was that your mom was getting ready to do a live cam show wearing a strap-on with a drugged-up and tied-down Geoff Ketchum. Fud was really excited.

    • Like 6
    • Haha 1
  4. 3 hours ago, satyanash said:

    The Eyes: Texas' offensive outlook, latest on facility upgrades

     

      Hide contents

    Texas football is nearly two months out from the beginning of Year 2 of the Tom Herman era. The Longhorns are preparing for what is hoped to be a better season on the field, but a lot of the success will ride on the offense. Herman arrived at Texas with high hopes after he coached some of the best offensive units in the country during his time spent as OC under Urban Meyer and as head coach at Houston. That was not the case during the head coach’s first season at Texas when his offense put up disappointing numbers that ultimately hindered the success of the team. But there is reason for added optimism heading into 2018 as the Longhorns have a more experienced unit, and added some key graduate transfers who are expected to see early playing time this year. Horns247 insiders have the latest on the inner workings behind the scenes at Texas, including the progress being made during offseason conditioning, and much more. Welcome to The Eyes of Texas.

    Let’s Talk Some Texas Offense

    I had a good conversation with a team source about the hope in 2018 for the Texas offense. At quarterback, the expectation is Sam Ehlinger takes the next step in maturity and decision making and isn’t trying to make THE play, every play, but instead knows when to throw it away and live to play another down. Make no mistake, the job is Ehlinger’s to lose, and he’s the guy Herman, who was the first to offer Ehlinger a scholarship while coaching at Houston, is counting on to elevate the Texas offense in Year 2 of the Herman era. Shane Buechele is respected by the staff and could very well be counted on if Ehlinger struggles or gets injured. And the coaches know Buechele becomes a much better quarterback if his offensive line can create holes for a running game, thus creating play-action pass. When Buechele has play-action (a fake handoff to suck the defense in) before setting his feet and throwing down field, he’s at his accurate best throwing deep.

    There are high hopes for both early enrollee freshmen quarterbacks Cameron Rising and Casey Thompson, both of whom the coaches feel improved significantly in the spring and are on an accelerated growth rate. “The quarterback situation is light-years from where it was a year ago,” the source said. “Light years. And the depth and future of the position is in good hands. A year from now, you could have four guys really going at it. And that’s what you want.”

    At running back, there is increasing faith in Cal graduate transfer Tre Watson to possibly emerge as the No. 1 back (in large part because of his versatility) until true freshman Keaontay Ingram has adjusted to the speed and demands (blitz pickup) of the college game. There are enough carries to go around if Daniel Young and Toneil Carter take big steps as sophomores, or if four-year junior Kirk Johnson pulls off the comeback of the year following off-season ankle surgery. Johnson should be cleared to return to full action in July on the 'One Final Shot Tour.' “We’re about to find out just how talented Tre Watson is,” the source said. “He’s confident, and he’s looking at this year as a contract year, which is just fine. If he plays that way, it very well could be.”

    If Ingram is the future at running back, then Watson might be the now in terms of his experience and ability to help show the rest of the running back room what focus, work ethic and intensity are all about (are you listening Toneil Carter?). No one is anointing Watson yet, but his technique and awareness are further along than the rest of the running back room. Now, Watson just needs to show it all translates to the field.

    At receiver, the source said, “The ball is going to go to 84 and 9 a lot. Those guys have been challenged and started taking it to another level in spring ball. Their size (Lil'Jordan Humphrey is 6-foot-5 and Collin Johnson is 6-6) with Devin Duvernay’s speed should be a solid combination.” The sense is Humphrey’s got more dog in him than the rest of the receiving corps, and that’s something the coaches have challenged Johnson about. In the spring, coaches saw more fire out of Johnson, and want to see it continue and carry over to the field. In short, coaches want to see Johnson carry himself like one of, if not the best, receiver in the Big 12, and then play like it. Johnson has done a better job of leading, something sorely needed on an offense that’s been leadership-starved in recent years. “Nothing should hold him (Johnson) back this season,” the source said. “It’s his time.”

    A lot of you have asked about early enrollee freshman Brennan Eagles and his progress. I’m being told to be patient with Eagles, who may be pressing/overthinking things instead of just jumping in and grinding. Physically, Eagles looks like something out of Muscle & Fitness. Mentally, the game still needs to slow down … a lot. And Eagles needs to play as physical as he looks. (Sound familiar a year ago? … Collin Johnson?) As I reported last week in The Eyes, there is a great appreciation for the leadership of senior quarterback-turned-receiver Jerrod Heard. Heard is a guy who grinds at his craft but also isn’t afraid to take younger guys under his wing or take on other veterans when he thinks the intensity of a summer workout needs to be ramped up. Heard, who broke Vince Young’s single-game total offense record with 527 yards against Cal in 2015, is someone you want to cheer for to have some success, because he truly puts the interest of the team ahead of his own.

    At tight end, there is a sense the depth and talent could be a significant difference-maker to this year’s offense—and not just adding a gap the defense has to defend in the running game. I’ve had my doubts about Andrew Beck’s ultimate contribution to any Texas offense. To me, he seemed like he was still fighting to adjust and/or convince himself he was a tight end instead of a linebacker. And then when Beck went down with a season-ending foot injury in fall camp, Herman made it sound like the team had lost Jason Witten. But when you talk to teammates, it’s clear Beck’s toughness, blocking and leadership are seen as important elements of the offense’s attitude and personality this season. You cannot fake toughness, and Beck, a former linebacker, has the across-the-board respect of the best players on defense, including wild man Breckyn Hager.

    So, I’m no longer selling the importance of Beck to the offense—I’m buying—although I still think Cade Brewer is the next David Thomas. And Reese Leitao’s behavior on and off the field (3.7 GPA) his redshirt freshman year, while on probation for selling Xanax at Tulsa Jenks High School, was stellar. The sense is Leitao is an emerging star at tight end.

    You may be thinking: But, Chip, none of this skill position stuff means anything if the offensive line jumps out of the way like those fools running from the bulls in Pamplona, Spain (which has opening ceremonies July 5). The early word on Rice grad transfer Calvin Anderson, who is vying to replace All-American Connor Williamsat left tackle, is he has much better feet and technique than anyone UT was considering there this season (Denzel Okafor, Samuel Cosmi, etc.). So, barring unforeseen circumstances, go ahead and pencil Anderson into that left tackle role. Patrick Vahe has always been in the category of a better guy than a football player for me. But Herman swears Herb Hand is cleaning up Vahe’s technique and effectiveness. Let’s hope so. Otherwise, watching Vahe in pass protection at left guard one last season could be the definition of insanity.

    Texas will have an answer at center—either Zach Shackelford or Derek Kerstetter—as well as at right guard—either Elijah Rodriguez, Tope Imade or maybe even dark horse Junior Angilau—as well as right tackle in Okafor, Cosmi or Kerstetter. Herman is all in on Hand and believes Hand’s ability to teach technique and details such as combination blocking will lead to success in the running game, which should then lead to success in the passing game. You got all that? (Chip Brown)

    It was Only a Matter of Time

    Got a text from a source close to the situation on Monday that read, “Jalen Green is the real deal.” If you thought Caden Sterns, B.J. Foster and Anthony Cook had good springs as early enrollee freshmen, then feel free to add freshman corner Jalen Green to the list of those not backing down from any challenge and making plays against veteran receivers. It was just a matter of time, in my opinion. Green has 2001 Miami Hurricane fluidity to his hips and ability to turn and run. He needs to develop physically for sure. Green may have the longest way to go in that department. But Green can turn and run, has great makeup speed and defends the ball in the air as if it’s personal. And that’s all you ask of any stud football player at Texas or anywhere else — take personal pride in what you’re doing. Make it matter. And, ultimately, do it for your teammates.

    Green is a star in the making and is going to push for playing time as a true freshman. Mark my words on that one. Texas is trying to cement its claim as DBU. With guys like Sterns, Foster, Cook and Green coming on, Texas will be making its argument in the next couple years. (Chip Brown)

     

    I clicked on this because I thought the facilities stuff might be a collectible data point. And then I don't see any facilities info. Did I miss it in my skimming of this turd pile of an article?

  5. 1 hour ago, ousux said:

    I took a peek at the schedule, can't do it..

    Incidentally, I love how every 9.95er write up I've seen lately fails to mention Kyle Porter when talking about the RB's...as if he's no longer on the team or something. There's no question he's not our best back, but he was actually starting to tote the ball pretty well towards the end of last season, and he's probably our best at blitz pick up. Like it or not, he'll see some play time next year even with our Freshman stud coming in.

    No, man, just ... no. Porter was terrible last year and he didn't improve. He was a fucking train wreck in the MIssouri game to end the season. He averaged 2.7 ypc in the bowl and missed a couple of holes that literally could have had an 18-wheeler driven through them without anyone touching it. He's not a good player who needs to graduate and join the work force. 

  6. 23 minutes ago, texifornia said:

    Shepherd or is @FartingMonk a prophet?

     

    12 minutes ago, Casual Encounter said:

    Oh, he’s a prophet alright. Just hope he’s not a false one or we’ll crucify his ass.

    I'm cheering for the guy to be right for the following reasons:

    1) I'd like to land Rian Davis.

    2) He provided info as best he could that actually was a better feed than damn near anything the $9.95ers ever bring to the table.

    3) The boards are always tough on people who pass on info as best as they can and it is pretty thankless. Not really any upside, and it's a beating when something shifts under you on the landscape and your prior position winds up being incorrect. 

     

    I'm rooting against him for the following reason:

    A) It's usually hilarious watching grown men pummel other grown men on the Internet over the whims of teenagers and the false hope they often create.

     

    • Like 9
  7. 1 hour ago, Machinator said:

     

    Listen, I appreciate the updates, but what the fuck on no one putting the actual players' names in this stuff? Not the poster and the dumbfuck at Rivals. Most of us don't follow all of these teenagers on Twitter. Who the fuck are we looking at right here? Is it the North Shore running back? Or is it some other 2020 5 star RB we're supposed to know about? 

  8. 13 minutes ago, Scholz said:

    Interesting.  Had written Major and Houston off.  So is Houston a Z-receiver (speedster on the outside)?  I only ask because he's listed at 6'0" and we already have 2 top notch slots.

    Correct. If there's any substance to this, he'd be an outside guy who can fly. If there's substance to it, I have to assume there's traction with Major too. I'm from Missouri on this one, though.

    • Like 2
  9. 9 minutes ago, Goodman said:

    True but the sec west could be argued to be down. arkie, msu and olemiss have new(er) coaches, have not recruited like they were a few years ago. lsu is led by Ogre. Auburn is what they always are, inconsistent and play down to its competition. bama is rolling. Not much in the West, add in a good East draw with esce & uk, plus 3/4 easy games in ooc. Clemson, Bama & maybe auburn roll but outside of that its a bunch of below average teams equal to aggie.

    I’m regularly surprised that people think Miss State and South Carolina are going to be anything worse than they usually are, and that’s good enough to beat ATM. UK is a bowl team and LSU has owned them and has more talent. They are one Arkansas jihad declaration away from looking at a losing record. 

    • Like 2
  10. 2 hours ago, Eggo said:

    You realize you don't have to burn the stuff in the dumpster, right? Someone will come, you know, take it away for you. 

    ousux can get rid of murder evidence the way he wants to, and Eggo, you, alternatively, can get rid of murder evidence however damn well you please as well. There's room here for multiple methodologies. 

  11. 3 hours ago, Homesickhorn said:

    Not me, and here’s why.  I’ll preface this by saying to anyone who doesn’t know me, that I played baseball in the SEC. I really wanted a State win, because even though we were better than them, they brought the fuck you fight-back pain, and dropped it down on their opponents when it counted most. My alma mater shit the bed, giving Texas their own Super. State’s gone, so it’s pig vs beaver. I fucking hate Arkansas, it’s been bred into my soul. But I love baseball. Because of what it is, and what it did to me when I found it at age five.

    There’s an awesome metaphor, that compares baseball to life, and it’s been labeled a cliche lately.

    I played most sports, football being my favorite, but baseball being what I was best at. It’s an “individual” team sport (if that makes sense).

    I don’t know if anyone noticed, but that India piece of shit was in the dugout checking his cellphone while his team was down to FAU. The majority of his team were cheering on their teammates at the plate, but not him. That immediately caused me to hate Florida, solely due to a piece of shit who couldn’t get up for his teammates, but was too concerned for himself.

    I loved it when Tech beat them, hated watching them beat Texas, but last night, when pig kicked their asses, I was happy. Because, fuck Florida, and their coach for letting that go on in his dugout.

    I’m going to cheer for pig (gulp), because they’ve never been there before. My in state rival, just lost to Oregon State tonight, and I was cheering for them. I love the sport of baseball. I like underdogs, probably because I was one, 95% of the time. I got lucky to have guys around me that could do the job when I couldn’t, but knew I’d die trying to do the job when they couldn’t as well.

    This will be the only time I probably ever cheer for pig, but they deserve theirs.

     

    TL/dr:

    Cheering for piggy because they beat Florida who had a fucktard entitled player on their team. And that bugs me.

     

     

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

     

     

     

     

     

    I like you, man, but you can go fuck yourself on this one. Give me OSU without caveat. 

    • Like 6
    • Fuck You 1
  12. 8 hours ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

    If he's really being recruited as a Safety then I wont lose any sleep over him with potentially getting Thompson and Washington.

    It’s a little early to be writing off 5 stars in Texas for the 2020 class. 

    • Like 1
  13. 3 hours ago, Fud said:

    I think a 1-2-1-2 pattern makes sense in an offense like Herman's where the QB is counted on to run the ball, with the caveat that if you're able to land a 5* in a 2 QB year, you only need to take one, with the expectation that after 2-3 years, the lesser QB in a two QB year transfers 

    I’ll argue that it is an imperfect game (from a game theory perspective) and that you’re simply obligated to take at least one every year, and any year in which two want to sign and you happen to like both, for whatever reason, you take them. If you have a can’t miss guy ready to sign, and he doesn’t want anyone else with him, fine, fuck it, take him and close it out. Guys on this thread mocking the aggies for taking what they can every year, they should focus on mocking the takes and not the numbers. The only time I think a program is butchering QB depth is when they don’t take anyone, irrespective of reasons. 

    • Like 1
  14. 5 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

    Perhaps, but almost everything I'm relaying is second hand.  I've seen a screen cap or two.  They're unsettling.  On their own?  Maybe not too bad, but she didn't capture everything and has told me what else he said.

    APD came by my house within an hour or so of AISD notifying them.  They were supposed to get in touch with me first, but didn't, and I was at work, so they spoke with my son who hadn't the foggiest what was going on.  I'm sure that was helpful.  Obviously, law enforcement thinks it's worth exploring.  I'm still trying to get back in touch with APD, which . . . well, that's not surprising.

     

    Just to make sure I’m making sense to you, I wasn’t disputing anything you said about the circumstances. My hopes and prayers are with your family, the troubled person and the community. I just meant that he’s showing signs of naricissism without necessarily being a narcissist or someone who’s just got problems, rather than seeming like a sociopath. That said, I’m not a psychiatrist and the notes here are limited, so who knows? If it is remotely interesting, there’s a ton of good info out there on personality disorders, geniuses included, that a dude like you might find as interesting reading once this is behind you. 

  15. On 6/20/2018 at 1:46 PM, jimmyjazz said:

    We don't know the family.

    I expected these responses, and they are in line with my gut feelings.  For one thing, I can't in good conscience tell my kids to pay attention to troubled peers and say something if they are concerned, and then not do anything when a kid actually reaches out.  I've learned that hypocrisy is a bad parenting tool.  That said, the idea of getting on the bad side of a potential sociopath is discomforting to say the least.

    If it helps at all, this person doesn’t sound like a sociopath, based on what you’ve said here, at least. 

  16.  

    I like Jeff Howe. I don’t know him well, but we’ve bullshitter a few times. We have mutual friends who know the game and respect him a bunch. That said, he’s not above being a shill for the program or flat out being lost in UT bullshit. He once posted an article, after Swoopes committed and after he fucking knew Mack Brown was purposefully passing on JT Barrett in which he dismissed passing on Barrett and simultaneously compared Tyrone fucking Swoopes to Vince Young as a recruit. So with that in mind, fuck him on this:

    “What keeps me up at night is teaching them how to handle adversity because things have been so positive around here and probably will continue to be throughout the course of the offseason,” Herman said. “I would imagine, at some point, whether it’s in the first game or somewhere we stub our toe in-season, it’s going to be adversity. Can we block out all of the noise and all of the sky is falling people? Can we rally around each other in that locker room? Just a continual emphasis on building that bunker mentality.”

    You don’t coach into adversity. You coach out of it. Herman needs to go in expecting his team to win. If they struggle, teach. Otherwise, everyone shut the fuck up and go 2-0 until they face USC and find out what they’re made of as a team. If they can’t beat Maryland and/or Tulsa without coaches handwringing about knowing how to win, then we have the wrong motherfucker for the job. 

  17. 8 hours ago, bularry1 said:

    How many years ago was that?  Do you recall every petty internet football argument you ever participated in?  because arguing about great college TE's is pretty high on the "petty" scale.

    Far be it for me to ever take a position even vaguely supportive of something hpslugga is doing, but what’s wrong with being petty? I thought this was the Internet, and a college football board, to boot. If we can’t be petty, what is left, sir?

  18.  

    I was at a lunch bunch in Houston right after college and Jerry Scarborough was there talking. I found him useless in the age of the Internet as a recruiting guy, but he was always Mack’s mouthpiece, so there were nuggets in the crap to pull out sometimes. Anyway, someone asked something about ATM and he went on this long diatribe about RC Slocum, who was the HC at the time, being Sherrill’s bagman and what a piece of trash he was offline. It was entertaining and enlightening. JS did not care at all for him, and neither did any of the older donors in the room. At a personal level. So yeah, fuck that revisionist history writing piece of shit and every aggie shrugging off cheating along with him. 

  19. 1 minute ago, Bevo said:

    This is where I think you jump the shark. Herman is a pretty fucking good coach. He might have made a mistake making too many comfort hires that he felt would work as part of a team. However, I don't feel like he has any problems getting rid of the dead weight. When he fires 2 guys this winter and brings in 2 new people, I guess everyone will move on to Beck and Giles. That is fair enough, but remember a staff in continuous turnover won't really get us anywhere.

    He hasn’t done it yet. He literally has chronic underperformers on his staff that he chose to bring back for another year, jeopardizing the rebuild and making us beholden to them. How the fuck have I jumped the shark by pointing something legitimate out and you predicting the future ? 

    I’m fine with whatever shit people want to sling at me, so long as it is legitimate or at least just violent or funny. You brought none of that to the table. Please put more effort into your posts or ask the orderlies to take your keyboard away for the good of everyone. 

  20. 2 minutes ago, lemonandaturd said:

    Good for you.  You are one know it all son of a bitch.  When we have a nice WR haul on both signing days, you can kiss my raunchy ass.  Hook'em!

    We’ll have another nice signing day at WR. You’ll be crowing about the prowess of Drew Mehringer as he’s sent packing. You’ll point to his “promotion” to offensive coordinator at Pittsburg State as the Gorillas’ new wunderkind offensive coordinator  as validation for your faith. echeese and cdt23 will be right there with you. The rest of us will be crossing our fingers that Herman is out of bros to hire and actually brings in the best candidate for the job. 

    There. Now I’ve earned the “know it all son of a bitch” title. 

    • Like 2
  21. 2 minutes ago, lemonandaturd said:

    Do all of the insiders really know who is in charge of recruiting whom or is this all recycled info from the 9.95ers.  We got Woodward and Eagles last year and we are in it for Wright and Washington this year.  Why all the fucking pussy rubbing?  aggy has some real tuff,  real stuff like Kam Brown.  What the fuck do I know.  

    I can help you here on the “what the fuck do I know?” question. You appear to not know a fucking thing. 

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