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deadshank

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Posts posted by deadshank

  1. 7 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

    I don't know why I find her oddly attractive.  I guess it's the fact that she doesn't give a shit.  She's kinda dumpy, and isn't exactly blessed with a beautiful face, but she owns it all.  

     

    She's about 4 foot nuthin', too. 

    Saw her in the lobby of the St. Anthony in SA.  I'm 6'3" and we eyeballed each other as she was about belt buckle high to me.  I say, "what's up, Joan?  Why you in town?"  She says, "gotta show tonight."

    And like that.....she were gone.

    • Like 3
  2. 20 minutes ago, TornACL said:

    People who take half a donut. Come on, fatty mcgee, who are you trying to fool? Just take the whole fucking thing and throw half of it in the trash at your desk. No one else is going to want to eat the left behind half of that donut that you pawed all over while you were tearing it apart.

    The worst part about it is that most of these people like to make a big showy event out of the whole thing. "Ohh, goodness, I'm only going to take HALF of this jelly donut, I'm watching my weight for beach season, anyone want the other half?"

    Get the fuck out of here, you weigh two bucks and a quarter. If you go to the beach the beach will run out of sun.

     

     

    I'd eat the other half if its a sour cream cruller from HEB.   Not afeart at all.

  3. 1 minute ago, bolverk said:

    I decided to look up a list of the micropolitan statistical areas of Texas. There are 43 of them. The requirements for qualification is to 1) form an urban cluster of at least 10,000 and 2) NOT be a suburb of a major city as measured by commuting patterns (this is a legit Census Bureau designation).

    KsthdpPm_t.jpg

    I hope this image isn't too small. I'm still trying to figure out the imgbox thing.

    Given my same pay (or more) as now I’ll take Brownwood, El Campo, F’burg, Stephenville or Uvalde. 

  4. 20 minutes ago, elfenix said:

    that entire parking lot is a ginormous clusterfuck.  you shouldn't be allowed to exit at that traffic light on bunker hill, make it an exit only.  have the lane in front of the HEB run west only.  have the parking lot striped so that drivers come from the north only.  that eastern aisle you're talking about should be the one that gets you from the back of the lot to the front of the lot.  whole lot should just be a big counterclockwise circulating mass

     

    mspaint:

    firefox_2018_04_10_12_41_20.jpg

    MSpaint and no dicks?  Negged

  5. On 4/5/2018 at 1:30 PM, pearlandhorn said:

    I never have to worry about my wife's driving.  She was a Smith Driving Instructor? for her last job.  She's probably the safest person I know with regards to driving and knowing her way around.  I have to ask her for directions most of the time because I go to the same place every day (work) and she's out and about with the kid.

    Like I've said over on the shag, I feel bad for a lot of you guys.  My wife is intelligent, plays video games with me, drinks (not in excess), is a great mom, still has sex with me, is a good driver, takes care of her vehicle (has the oil changed or changes it herself someones), doesn't really bitch or nag at me.  I feel like I hit the jackpot.

    Is your wife married?  Asking for a friend. 

    • Like 1
    • Haha 2
  6. At the doc with wife so she can have a procedure done this morn.  

    Why do people bring their entire family to the doctor?  I’m not talking about a single mom with young children.  I’m talking mom, dad and 2 grown-assed kids in their 20’s.  

    And then they all get up together to go out into the elevator lobby and the reverse skate 1 minute later only to do it all again 6 more times in 10 minutes.  

    Sit down and quit going in and out the danged door.  

    (Daughter is pretty cute FWIW)

  7. 3 hours ago, wood said:

    This is the weirdest, most baffling shit, and I see it every time I get in my car. Some more subtle, & some just blatantly obvious, like the fucker in the right lane on sb Mopac the other day who decided that, for whatever reason, he just didn't want me passing him in the middle lane. Dude was just cruising about 65 by himself in the right lane as I approached in the middle lane going about 80. As soon as I got near him though, dude damn near wrecked himself trying to stay ahead of me or keep up. Changing lanes all over the place, cutting people off, etc. Fucking bizarre shit.

    Then you have the left lane blockers who'll speed up just a tad when they see you behind them, but won't move over even when they have plenty of room. They'll do anything but move the fuck over. Gotta have that left lane.

    I think he wanted your number.  

  8. 5 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

    Hendersonville is an Asheville suburb at this point.  

    Wife and I are looking at everything from Travelers Rest to Cashiers to Burnsville and even up toward the three Bs(Banner Elk, Blowing Rock, and Boone).  Trying to keep it within a 60-90 minute drive of Asheville or Greenville. Tourist towns help for restaurants available and meeting new people.

    Western NC is a nice part of the country.   I hope you find your spot.

  9. 27 minutes ago, tokamak said:

    Christ that is discouraging. We might have to rethink things if that is the case. We're not overly concerned with resale value because we plan to stay in this home for a long time, but I don't see a lot of sense in buying a house for $450k and spending $200k to renovate it.

    Thanks for all the answers so far.

    If you're not sawcutting slab to move plumbing, moving a bunch of walls and if you take it easy on appliances and lay off super expensive countertops you can get close to your number.  Really nice kitchens and bathrooms are expensive due to the trades involved and the stuff you put into them. 

    Re-skinning is less expensive than gut and do over.  Get a real clear picture of what you want and then get a contractor you can trust (they are out there).

     

  10. Two years ago we remodeled our kitchen, laundry room and master bathroom.  We switched out all base boards and crown mouldings to make them all the same throughout the house.  Put in new floor tile where applicable and re-sanded and stained the wood floors.  All new appliances, as well.  Walls were moved and plumbing was moved.

    $200K all in.  Of course, the work was in the most expensive "per square foot" rooms you can work in.

    A $100K budget is not going to get you real far in kitchens and bathrooms.

  11. 3 minutes ago, Post Oak said:

    I moved from Atx to Waco and absolutely love it minus the rape.  Now waco is 125k so not a small town

    CoL is considerably cheaper.  Traffic is non existent. I can take my wife and kids to do things on the weekend and theres not 10k other people there.  

    Friday night we can go downtown (i know downtown waco haha) but we go drink some of the best whiskey in the world at Balcones park for free and walk right in.  I enjoy going to a restaurant on the weekend and not having to wait 45 mins for a table.

    My wife lived in the metroplex and bay area.  I was concerned about how she liked it.  She loves it.

    Now Waco doesnt offer 1/10th of the nightlife, restaurants jobs that Atx does but we dont go out much anyway and when we do we sure as fuck werent going downtown and dealing with that bullshit. Its a poor community in parts but also has a little charm [a little].  There are good schools in and around Waco to send our kids

    I miss the radio stations and breakfast tacos.

    In a couple years we're buying land and moving out to the country. A farming community of about 1k people and i cant wait.  

    I've read Waco has great Christmas lights tours

    • Like 6
  12. Given the opportunity to make as much money as I do now (not saying its a lot of money) I would move to a small town in a heart beat.

    Hendersonville or Saluda, NC or another part of western North Carolina.

    Or I could stay in Texas and live around Uvalde or some other spot in that area.

  13. Just now, South Austin said:

    When we're on a road trip the wife and I talk about where we would go if we had to move to a small town.  Places like Llano, La Grange, Blanco and Boerne get thrown around (although the latter one is turning into a San Antonio suburb).  I say "if we had to move," because it's just fantasy talk and none of us has the urge to leave Austin, as we still love it here and everything a big town has to offer, even accepting the traffic and other bullshit of urban life. 

    I passed through Boerne on the way from Bergheim to Uvalde on Friday at 5 pm.

    HELL NO.  

    Nice town but way too many people and too much traffic on the main surface street (Hwy. 46).  It took me 45 minutes to get from one side of Boerne and over I-10 to the other side and on to Bandera. 

  14. Which leads me to long cell phone voice mail greetings.

    This is Cecil Sessums with Cecil Sessums Cesspool Services.

    I can't take your phone call right now because I'm up to my knees in a cesspool or I'm fishing or I'm cooking meth in a trailer out in the brush.

    Please leave me a voice mail or you for faster service you can call my office at 949-555-5555 and ask for Charlene.

    If you've reached this voice mail after hours or on a weekend or on the opening day of crappie season you can call 888-555-5555 for your emergency cesspool diving service.

    Or you can text me at this number or you can email me at cecilsessumsatcecilsessumscesspoolservice.com.  That's C E C I L S E S S U M S at C E C I L S E S S U M S C E S S P O O L S E R V I C E dot com (don't spell out the dot just use the little period button).

    Click

    (auto-loaded response instructions) To leave a voice mail press one; to leave a voice mail and send with urgency press two; to erase and start your voice mail over press three; to review your voice mail press four; if you are satisfied with your voice mail press 6 or simply hang up.

    And finally........

    The voice mailbox you have reached is full, good bye!

     

    • Like 2
    • Haha 2
  15. 5 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

    The alternative is longcat email signatures on every. fucking. response.

     

    Bob-send me a copy

    Best Regards,

    Richard Cranium

    Vice President, Human Trafficking

    Facebook link: Richard@facebook

    Linked in Link: Richard@ linkedIn

    Twitter Link: Richard@twittter

    Company email: Richard @ company.com

    Company website: TheCompany.com

    "Quote here that makes me seem like a decent human being despite the fact that I'm a piece of human garbage"

    You forgot "THIS EMAIL IS INTENDED ONLY FOR THE RECIPIENT.  ANY UNAUTHORIZED.......blah blah blah."

    • Like 1
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