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deadshank

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Posts posted by deadshank

  1. 22 minutes ago, Rex Kramer said:

    Latinos incessant need to call me “boss” when clearly I never am; I just want some brisket tacos and want you to mix it up with a “man” or “dude” every now and then. Mexican crutch word. 

    The corollary to that is the incessant use of "Mr." and your first name, especially when done by call center employees that are not all the way comfortable with the English language.  

    Very awkward and annoying.

    Meester Larry.  OK, Meester Larry? Can I get the last four of your social, Meester Larry? So I can  re-verify your account information, Meester Larry?

  2. On 4/9/2018 at 9:15 PM, Iowa Horn said:

    When I was 12, a golf pro-am - the Amana VIP (any olds remember that one?) in 1982, the newly-minted Masters champ, Craig Stadler, hit an errant tee shot way into a grove of trees into a deserted area without any gallery ropes.  My Mom and I were cutting through that area as a shortcut, and stopped to watch his him try to hit some kind of heroic swooping cut shot first under a branch, then over a grove of trees.  Right in his backswing, my clueless Mom blurted out, "Heyyy, is that Craig Stadler??"  He flubbed his shot and glared at my Mom, and I was equally embarrassed so all I could do was mutter a "sorry Mr Stadler"

    Stadler wasn't pissed at your ma.  He took it out on her ass later that night.

  3. 2 minutes ago, TornACL said:

    It's fun when your dad gets to the age that he simply does not give a fuck about anything he says out loud or who the audience is.

    I was visiting them at Christmas and talking to my parents and my sisters about my upcoming trip to Vietnam. I was talking about what I cities I was going to be visiting, my flights, etc.

    My dad is just sitting there listening, and then just says "That's a damn long way to fly just for some poontang." 

    Well....it is.

  4. There can be some humor, too.  My granddad was quite a character.  Played on SMU natty champ team back in '35, modeled for a while, made plenty of money, heck of a golfer and went through 3 wives.

    When he died, his longtime live-in maid confided to my uncle and me that he "treated her very well."  Right up to around the time of his death, the DOB was giving the high hard one to her.  She liked him (40 years younger and pretty good looking Hispanic woman) and she thought it was a shame that granddad's wife number 3 didn't give up the poontang to the old man anymore.  They would get together a few times a week and go at it.

    We asked here how an 80+ year old sumbitch could, well...you know...perform at such an advanced age.  

    She said he was great in bed and just needed a little help from his friend.  We asked her what "his friend" was and she pulled out an Austin Powers penis pump that she kept in her room.

    My uncle (his son) about had a heart attack and I laughed so hard a got cramps in my gut.  My uncle and I still laugh about that to this day.

    Moral:  they can be quite entertaining.

    • Like 4
    • Haha 1
  5. My dad has been gone 14 years.  I was a real shithead with him.  He got all jacked up in Vietnam and never was right emotionally or physically. Agent Orange wound up eating him alive.

    He was a pain in the ass and I realized I was too hard-headed to accept that and enjoy him while I could.

    Take it easy on your aging parents and deal with it best you can.  Being pissed off at the ever-accelerating world is a gloroius endeavor that is a right oldsters should enjoy.  They've earned it. 

    You'll be in their velcro strap on shoes soon enough

    • Like 1
  6. One of my all-time favorite movies.  About the real story of Bill Miner.  The scene where he decides to go back to his old ways by first contemplating and then deciding to steal a horse is great acting through just the look on his face.   Kind of hard to come by nowadays but if you can find the film it is well worth the watch.

     

    Image result for the grey fox

    • Like 1
  7. Smoke your nails by an open window, for now  

    Youre checking for "smells" with a CO2 detector and getting negative results but then CO2 is odorless?

    When is the last time your HVAC system was serviced?   Now that we are headed to summer you may be using the AC soon. Have a HVAC service company come check it all at once. Need it done anyway. 

  8. 4 hours ago, BayouBill said:

    the Come and Take It would look bad ass as an alternate helmet decal.

    Unless someone come and took it and whipped thy ass by 4 touchdowns

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