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Hayduke

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Everything posted by Hayduke

  1. Beowulf -- that's a name from the old Austin 360 board (and maybe before -- what was the predecessor?) that I hadn't thought of for a while. He was one of the most prolific of all over there.
  2. Son and daughter are a bit different about hanging out with people IRL instead of virtually, although son has grown into more real-life visiting. He and his core group, even when they get together, often game, but they need to get together less. I think it's one of the reasons a big state school has worked out well for him; the greater anonymity and potential isolation are no big deal. His core group has been together forever, though. Four guys who've been buddies since 4K and early elementary school. Two other dads and me have become part of our weekly happy hour that's been going five years now, and the young men have all aged into occasional happy hour visits together with the dads. It's pretty cool stuff. They were all home for Thanksgiving two years ago and ended up gravitating onto our patio for a firepit session with the adults on Wednesday night, including a couple of their girlfriends. One of my favorite holiday memories. His sister's only named choice so far is following him to the Twin Cities (we're still not sure she knows he won't even be there if she arrives), but I suspect a smaller school is going to be one where she thrives. Her in-person friend time is so much more important, but it's also changed a lot more. There are more young women passing in and out of the various friend alliances. Part of my efforts with her is to get her really thinking about where she finds a sense of community and togetherness, but without being overt about it, during this process. It's why I am really prioritizing school visits and relying on my son to talk a lot with her about those things.
  3. I ran across a blast from the past in my home office recently -- a lengthy 9-year-old list of our punishments and stipulations for our son from the time when we disconnected the Playstation and I hauled it to work and stuck it in a filing cabinet for several weeks. He's in the kitchen now on a short hiatus between internship and senior year. After breakfast and coffee while listening to a political podcast, he'll return to editing press releases for one employer and news stories for the other, as he did yesterday between workouts and errands. We've tended to mostly leave our kids alone and occasionally conduct the miserable process of trying to teach. So far, both have turned out well despite the missteps -- both theirs and ours. It's a miracle, or maybe just completely natural, but most of our kids turn out great despite us.
  4. Or maybe parenting stuff is the core of the process. A lot of these replies support that idea. And the last point is important. Things will turn out. One out of three won't finish where they start anyway, and nothing wrong with that, either. A college degree, especially from elite colleges, is clearly not the only route to success, happiness and contributions to the world. But gaming all day when they need to write instead is generally not the way. Thus, parenting. Also, @troph, I hope you said, "Good seeing you all at the game, too."
  5. I would never accuse a dairy farmer of being unaware. They're just too practical to attend to it.
  6. Eh, we all know how that goes, despite all the great resort advice Surly gives everybody for free. This has probably been suggested multiple times, but we could make said advice contingent upon following the rules.
  7. Yep. But y'all are in Texas. A little more laissez-faire. Up here, they just want to be sure everyone is in agreement -- school knows what's going on, parents OK with it. Of course, nobody on the dairy farms pays any attention.
  8. Good bump. Hadn't seen this thread but sent that second Gothsicle link on @CooterBrown's original post to my 22-year-old, who probably already added it to a Spotify list. First thing that comes to mind for my guilty pleasures is Christmas stuff. Too early for that, though. So here's some dance remixes.
  9. Agreed. That's impressive at 16 or 17. It's amazing at 14. Up here, we need permission from schools and parents to have someone younger than 16 employed at a place like Chick-fil-a. My daughter did that and quickly found out she was one of only a couple of school-aged coworkers at a local restaurant who pulled their weight. Now she's an apprentice at a major company and finding the same thing relative to her fellow students. At least a few of her friends still haven't worked. Doesn't quite follow through the same way at home, but we're a little more accepting of that because she's built a decent little savings account for school. She's done great stuff, but your son is doing more. Worth being proud of, and probably deserving of a little mush time on his end, I'd venture.
  10. Well, @Bozo_Casanova just sent me down a rabbit hole. Somehow I have missed an introduction to "elite overproduction." Thinking I could have waited another two or three years for that. Pulled the mail today and there was a hand-addressed envelope for my daughter from the one place I was able to drag her to last Monday, on the school's last organized visit day of the summer. No idea what's in it or who it could be from -- the sophomore cheerleader who led our three-student group tour, the VP for admissions who we briefly met as she visited with folks before things got underway, the recruiting coordinator for our region, our assigned financial aid advisor, or the assistant coach who came to find her within five minutes of our checking in (this after my last-minute question to the admissions office on the final afternoon before the event -- "Would a coach possibly be available?"). Folks at this school's admissions office are highly organized and good at what they do. They told everyone in attendance that applicants get a four-year, $1,000 annual scholarship just for showing up at recruiting day. That leaves everyone with about $69K to go, but I could see that everything they did and said was quite purposeful. My daughter will get into this school if she wants, but it's a private in Seligson's "buyers" list. The question is how affordable they'll make it and whether my daughter wants to take advantage of some possibilities. We won't dictate what she does in school, whether it's sports (she's not sure) or her current employer (which has an office near this university). But that's why our son is her current "consultant" -- he has really taken advantage of opportunities in his path. Now I've got to figure out whether to tell her I'm one of the disenfranchised not-really-elites who have been overproduced and how that affects the bottom line for her next four years. I'll probably skip the theory and just show her the numbers. 😁
  11. Hayduke

    "Bring it" songs

    I'm bummed that nobody has posted any Dropkick Murphys yet.
  12. Feel for you, @troph. Every parent's story is sorta different, sorta the same. What burns me is my daughter's distance, unwillingness to talk, and a substantial amount of disrespectful expression. Still, she's gone through a breakup that puts everything out of whack. We're trying to get her to move on from that -- a great young man, but from where I sit probably not right for her long-term and the breakup probably came at a fortuitous time (hell, no, haven't said that to her). She needs to think about growing up and finding her own place in the world that's not shaped too much by him. It tell myself that she acts toward me as she does because she's comfortable enough to, so I'll put up with that behavior to a certain extent. At the same time, we need her to focus on opportunities she could let slip away if she doesn't take advantage of them in the next 3-4 crucial months. That's why all these different experiences people share on Surly become so valuable. Lots of good advice worth considering. Even in his book, Seligson briefly touches on admissions officers' dealings with how young adults present their failures and mentions the value of parents giving kids safe places to fail. Sometimes that's all we can do, I think. I think this may be hardest for me to get through. As a professional communicator, I've joked with my daughter about how her test scores hurt me ... lower on writing and reading, high on math and science. She's headstrong, and the one time she asked for help on a school paper, I was absolutely none because I first tried to show that the writing style she used was unnecessarily difficult to understand and not straightforward. She answered, truthfully, that it was what her teacher wanted. Even knowing that, I couldn't get her to consider simple ways to mitigate that and she shut down. In the end it's probably fine -- she did great in the class, and for college apps, her grades/test scores and some possibilities as an athlete will probably be the main drivers. At least I hope. I'm not sure I've got the energy to help with her essays, as the determination she shows as an athlete works just as strongly with avoidance of dad talk.
  13. What do you mean by "off the rails," @troph? According to what I'm reading in the Selingo book, the admissions committees want to see an essay that demonstrates traits like passion, compassion, leadership and whatnot. Lots of discussion in the book about applicants who aren't just checking off the extracurricular boxes, but really taking part, demonstrating positive traits and skills, and able to articulate that in an authentic manner -- their own voice. Sounds like he's got a lot of that covered. Hard to tell about the voice, of course, but it sounds like he's on the right track.
  14. Usually feels like everything is a shot in the dark, and you know you can't keep spraying those bullets around. Both tough love and sympathy seem like crap shoots, but when your kid knows you care, things are usually registering more than you think at the time. In this case, even if our son doesn't have a lot of luck with his sister, he deserves the money anyway because he has needed very little from us. He's basically paid his own way and has had some really cool experiences. He's smart with his money. Our daughter is very money-driven, and she knows he's probably going to roll over his 529 into an IRA when he's done. When she gets the advance bottom-line figures from us, she'll listen to him very carefully ... And if I don't have to be in charge of a couple of the campus visits, it's the best money I've spent all summer. I've survived one. Good visit, but outsourcing is my new best friend.
  15. Both a waste and the best money you can spend, IMO. Had our son not come home this weekend, I wouldn't have thought of hiring him. Wife and I just agreed to pay him $1,000 to be his sister's admission consultant and we're giving him an additional $1,500 to play with as bonus money to get her to visit three schools while he's here for a week or two (and he'll be in charge of taking her). He can use the money to bribe her to go if needed, so we'll see how the capitalistic aspect of that works. (Aside: son just came home a little early from his D.C. internship; will continue doing some agency work remotely while also doing a remote campus job that's pretty high in managerial responsibility, but he said he was going to work at the country club with a buddy as a fry cook to have something else to do while at home. Part of his duties are to read the Selingo book, which will be of help to him in his campus job.) Me: "Do you know if Jane is around this summer?" (not her real name: goes to MIT, is on an intercollegiate team in a common sport with my daughter) Daughter: "No." Dad messages Jane's mom, asks if she's around. Mom says she'll have Jane reach out. Me: "I know you're probably not going to like this, but I contacted Jane's mom to see if she's here this summer ..." Daughter: "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!??!!?!! I see her every day in summer team gatherings!" Yep. I hear variants of your story over and over and over, @troph. We've got a family meeting coming up this week with some laying down of the law. Counting on son to be the moderating influence.
  16. Bumping this after perusing various college-related threads and tracking down the book I believe @CooterBrown referred to a couple of pages back, which is Jeffrey Selingo's "Who Gets In and Why." Was only $1.99 on Kindle and that's two bucks very well spent, although his new book is coming out soon and the spreadsheet he puts together on various colleges is free for download on his web site. That spreadsheet is very useful. Couple of questions: anybody hired a coach or other consultant? Would be interested in hearing your experiences, as others on this thread probably would. We decided to hire one on the cheap ... our son, who's graduating in May and who probably has his younger sister's ear a lot better than I do. She listens, but she doesn't talk, and that's what we need right now from her. She'll get into either of the two flagships closest to us, but she has other good options that she simply refuses to talk about right now. Teenagers ... The other question: has anyone had good success using Selingo's tips, especially the "buyers/sellers" approach? I did "persuade" my daughter to take one visit this summer but only stumbled onto Selingo's book afterward because of this thread. Turns out I was pretty much following his approach in choosing this particular visit and I feel good about the school's potential. But getting my daughter to wake up to a few things is our biggest struggle now.
  17. Somebody's gonna say somethin', so I'll just get it out of the way for you. You're not taking her to Columbus for her 50th?
  18. Second-worst wildfire season in Canadian history, apparently. Chicago had the worst AQI among major world cities yesterday until Kinshasa passed it sometime in the afternoon, but Chicago was 15 points or so better on the scale than much of Wisconsin. It's more than noticeable. My throat's scratchy and most of the time the air smells like a campfire that's been doused. A shame, because it's otherwise cloudless and 68 outside today. But now we are in the month of Livingstone's first collegiate touchdown, so things can't be so bad, right? 😁
  19. Air quality index hit 184 where I am yesterday -- had to stay inside and read Surly. Watched the video of Jaggy McJacksonJr's sick catch. Looked at the AQI and noticed it had gone down. Rewatched the video. Noticed the AQI had dropped again. Watched it a couple more times and AQI went all the way down to 121. Got skeered the air might improve so much we'd all get oxygen poisoning, so I quickly closed Surly and went upstairs to hide under the bed.
  20. I've seen lots of mango habanero and had a few, and I've really liked a couple. But that's the first I've heard of a strawberry habanero. You'd think that if it was a natural flavor combo, it would be seen in a few more cocktails -- especially margaritas. Seen lots of pineapple-pepper and mango-pepper margaritas, but don't think I've ever seen the strawberry. Anyway, good flavor in the Bent River product. I've had a few pepper beers and most just have more bite. This had actual taste.
  21. Will have to keep an eye out for De La Vega, but I suspect it's hard to come by up here. Just looked up the brewery and I guess I'm going to have to take a Route 66 tour to pick one up. Good-lookin' label, too. I've had the 512 Pecan Porter and Shiner's Holiday Cheer (with peach and pecan) and liked them both alright. Pecan seems like a more natural fit than peanut, which is kinda overwhelming. Have you had that Green Chile Cerveza from Sierra Blanca, @Iceman? That reminds me to post my beers from the other night, from Bent River Brewing in Moline, IL. A coffee stout, an IPA, a pepper ale and a wheaty blonde. The jalapeño ale had the best pepper flavor I've had in a beer so far, without any overwhelming heat. Definitely my favorite of the bunch.
  22. Higher than it already has, or do you mean that 8.0 is about right? Peanut is, along with dill pickle, one of the two flavors of beer I've been consciously avoiding. I do like white stouts. And if you keep making those IPA efforts you've shared lately, @Iceman, I might try one of the peanut beers out of commitment to trying new beers.
  23. A standalone condom? That sounds like something an A&M engineering post-doc might invent.
  24. I've got faculty friends who have told their kids to consider these options -- and who lament that they can't switch to a trade or craft now that their knees and backs are going. Many, if not most, college degrees aren't the ticket they were when many Surly posters were in school. Our weekly happy hour has three professors (one retired), a retired school superintendent, a couple of IT guys, and an electrician as its most regular members. Guess who's got the biggest damn house out of that bunch?
  25. Why you wanna bring North Korea into this? Oh, never mind. I see them now.
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