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Spaceman Spiff

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  1. On the bright side, remember all the handwringing last season about the fact that the Astros couldn’t win at home even though we dominated on the road? Well thanks to the sweep in Chicago, we are officially better at home than away!
  2. "I better not see anyone loaf," said the man stocking the shelves with bread.
  3. ...but enough about your sister. We're here to talk recruiting.
  4. Should have brought Dusty a lineup card showing Chas and Yainer starting. "Sign it, Dusty! Sign it just to prove you know how!"
  5. So, Nebraska? They are in the B1G. Their recruiting base is fertile farmland. Their fans are quite robust. They had a history of winning at one point. And they are not aggy.
  6. He may be high maintenance, but he's also known for maintaining a high.
  7. Speaking of welcoming Bisontits back with open arms, if Elko comes in for a hug, is Bisontits even able to get his dinosaur arms around Elko's ample frame?
  8. Jarrod Hufford went to Licking Valley High School. In other words, he graduated from Pussy Academy, probably with honors.
  9. Then: "We money whipped a sitting championship head coach." Now: "We are paying a loser head coach to sit."
  10. But I was told none of the portal departures last off-season were major losses. But I was told Petrino was a heist and he and Jimbo were creating a revolutionary offense.
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