-
Posts
9661 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Store
Downloads
Recruiting - 2020
2019-2020 Football Season
Football
Entertainment
Sports
News and Business
Cloak Room
Transfer Portal
Recruiting
Events
Posts posted by SHOOTER12
-
-
12 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:
My wife has 7 or 8 different shampoo bottles in the shower & probably 5 or 6 of them have less than 1% of product in them.
Take off the cap, run some water in there, use the dregs & recycle the bottle.
Done.
ButNoooo.Belushi.gif
Same here except all of them are damned near full.
- 1
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
8 hours ago, Crapinon said:Breakfast conversation this morning:
Me: How did you sleep last night?
Her : Fine but I had a disheartening dream that you divorced me.
Me: How did we split up the cats? (I knew where this was going so I tried to derail it)
Her: You got the good ones. It was very disheartening.
Me: Why did I leave you and who did I leave you for? Was it Taylor Swift? She's not my type but she's rich and I'd try to be a good gigolo.
Her: I'm not sure who it was. Maybe because you got better sex?
Me: You do realize this was YOUR dream, right?
Her: I know, but it was disheartening.
If she brings it up again, I'm just going to say it will be for someone with bigger tits and leave it at that. At least she'll have a real reason to be upset.
Jesus man never discuss or ask about dreams. Some years back I dreamed that my wife was best friends with Cameron Diaz. We were all out at some kind of outdoor festival or gathering of some kind with thousands of people when we somehow got separated. My wife freaked out because Cameron was nowhere to be found and had me looking high and low for her. I guess in my sleep I was calling out trying to find her. My wife woke up and asked me if I was having a nightmare or what. I gave her a brief sleepy rundown of how I was trying to find her best friend.of course that immediately got spun to I was dreaming about fucking Cameron Diaz. I told her NO I was looking for her because you told me to etc etc.
To this day, I'm still hearing about it. If a movie or something comes on with her in it I immediately leave so I don't have to hear about it all over again...fml
- 2
- 1
- 9
-
On 1/9/2024 at 9:51 AM, gernblansten said:
Exactly. And, if he tries to shut it down the wife will just hit him with:
I have a dream that one day, on the hills of Punxsutawney, the groundhog will not see his shadow and we'll have an early spring. Reminding us all that felonious cousin #1 was sprung from prison early. I have a dream that one day on Easter Sunday, all three of my felonious cousins will sleep at our house where they will not be judged by their rap sheets, but by the content of rehabilitated hearts. I have a dream that one day out by the shop, with the felons lips dripping with the nectar of beer and whiskey, will join hands with the non-felons. I have a dream today. I have a dream that come February all tree felons shall be exalted, every probation violation be made clear, the rough prison tattoos made plain, and their crookedness be made straight, and the drunken bitterness of their Father shall be relieved, and all flesh shall see it together.
The felon will be too busy drunkenly fucking the groundhog.
- 1
-
On 1/8/2024 at 3:42 PM, Parliament said:
You’re bringing your felonious cousin-in-laws into your home? Just tell your wife no. At the very least they can stay at a hotel and come over for dinner.
Yep, hope they have a pool and a pond.....or a swamp
-
On 1/8/2024 at 3:39 PM, dbagg said:
I was informed this weekend that we are hosting a Christmas in Feb for my wife's extended family at our home. This includes her 3 felon cousins and she insists that everyone stay at the house/shop. Two of the three felons have turned their shit around and are pretty good dudes, third one is a straight pile of shit. We always celebrated holidays at her grandparents house before they passed and was a good time for the first 5-6 hrs with lots of good food, booze, pitch playing. After hr 5-6 her uncle (father of the 3 felons) is drunk and reminds 2 of the 3 how shitty they turned out and all hell breaks loose with lots of awkwardness. Wifes Grandma called the cops on the pile of shit felon a couple yrs ago for showing up un invited. Brother and Sister in law will both get black out drunk and yell/scream at each other and then attempt to drive the 1.5 hr's home. Good times
I'll go ahead and say it...it's been nice knowing you
- 2
-
No, it didn't expire. It's just time to pay the devil his due. Be sure you have Saban on your "Celebrity Death List", it's coming soon.
-
2 minutes ago, Pimphand said:
28 times - Note: 2023 is still showing as blank on the site so it sorts to the bottom
Bible: 2
Cherry: 2
Price: 1
Royal: 10
Akers: 4
McWilliams: 0
Mackovic: 0
Brown: 7
Strong: 0
Herman: 1
Sarkisian: 1
Royal managed 76.9% of Texas A&M's total by himself and even Akers has more top 10 finishes than any coach does at A&M.Spock lyrical genius!
[Verse 1]
In the Middle of the Earth, in the land of Shire
Lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire
With his long, wooden pipe
Fuzzy, wooly toes
He lives in a hobbit-hole and everybody knows him[Chorus]
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
He's only three feet tall
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of 'em all![Verse 2]
Now, hobbits are peace-loving folks, you know
They're never in a hurry and they take things slow
They don't like to travel away from home
They just like to eat and be left alone![Verse 3]
But one day Bilbo was asked to go
On a big adventure to the caves below
To help some dwarves get back their gold
That was stolen by a dragon in the days of old[Chorus]
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
He's only three feet tall
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of 'em all!
You might also like
3D
Jung Kook (정국)
Castles Crumbling (Taylor’s Version) [From The Vault]
Taylor Swift
I Can See You (Taylor’s Version) [From The Vault]
Taylor Swift
[Bridge]
Well he fought with the goblins!
He battled a troll!
He riddled with Gollum!
A magic ring he stole!
He was chased by wolves!
Lost in the forest!
Escaped in a barrel from the elf-king's halls![Chorus]
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of 'em all![Verse 4]
Now he's back in his hole in the land of Shire
That brave little hobbit whom we all admire
Just a-sittin' on a treasure of silver and gold
A-puffin' on his pipe in his hobbit-hole![Chorus]
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
He's only three feet tall
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of 'em all!
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
He's only three feet tall
Bilbo (Bilbo!), Bilbo Baggins
The bravest little hobbit of 'em all!Dammit..it happened, I pissed myself....
- 2
-
-
Just now, SHOOTER12 said:
Dammit, after all this time and Bilbo Baggins still makes me laugh so hard I nearly piss my pants. So perfect, so Jimbo, so aggy it's perfect.
Edit: the worst part is I'll have that song stuck in my head all day long.
- 2
-
4 hours ago, Pimphand said:
We are going to miss ole Bilbo Booomhauer.
You had that dude in return a kickoff for a TD and in the backfield all day and still only managed 7 offensive points at home against App St.
Dammit, after all this time and Bilbo Baggins still makes me laugh so hard I nearly piss my pants. So perfect, so Jimbo, so aggy it's perfect.
-
Pleasanton High School, Eagle Stadium, Pleasanton Texas. Capacity-5000.
- 1
-
Fuck aggy...that is all.
- 5
- 2
-
5 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:
Look at the thumb on that kid..born for a glory hole butthole.
In other news, I found out grandson #2 wants ro go to UTSA, and then go to aggy. His father went to UT, and told him he didn't father him to become aggy. I told him other, much more severe things, which. due to risk of criminal prosecution I will not repeat. In the child's defense however, he is autistic.
- 2
-
-
On 12/30/2023 at 10:45 AM, YGIFS said:
Did the same with some Klipsch speakers on my old laptop not too long ago. Live re-discovering vinyl all over again. "It just feels warmer dammit!"
Can't beat that great organic sound. Same reason I've always preferred tube amps.
- 3
-
On 1/7/2024 at 9:23 PM, MissingInAction said:
Started taking acid reflux medicine which seems to turn stomach acid into farts. A LOT of farts.
This has introduced a brand new challenge to my butthole discipline.
I think with focuseness that I can turn this into a victory for 2024.
NEVER, EVER trust a fart, especially after age 50.
-
6 minutes ago, BlueGreySky said:
I vaguely remembered Emmitt as an announcer... but this dude put in some work to really chronicle it all in painful detail. The sheer volume if the stupidity is staggering. The Emmitt Smith Anthology
Don’t worry about the game you just won or the team that we just blew out… uhhh… blown… blown out… Let’s think about what we need to do going forward, and they had… blown out.
I just KNEW he was going to say "brown out".
-
On 1/3/2024 at 9:53 PM, Biff Tannen said:
Why in the motherfuck do different applications on my phone have different volume settings? If I turn the volume off when I’m on my browser, why is it not assumed that I want the volume off for the rest of the phone?
For example, I turned it off whilst on surly, but then clicked on a Twitter video in surly and shit goes full blast.
I won’t even mention that private browser mode and regular browser mode have the same issue.
Should this go in dumb question amnesty?Heck I prefer volume controls that way. There's times I want the ringer on, but don't want to deal with texts and other various alert, or vice versa,or any combination of such.
-
On 1/7/2024 at 11:15 PM, 52-80 said:
Bright, non-dimmable bathroom lights.
When im a guest at hotel or other peoples houses…taking a piss at 3am is like walking straight into the core of the sun.
So piss the bed. It's not like it's yours anyway.
-
1 hour ago, YGIFS said:
Well your first clue that Emmitt is a fucking moron, is that he's from fucking Florida. Put your Cowboy biases aside folks, he's an idiot from the word "Cunt"
Now, now you know it's in very poor taste to ridicule folks who are mentally challenged. You should be ashamed.
- 2
-
3 hours ago, PTINS said:
Did he quit coloring his chin pubes or has he aged 10 years is 6 months? He looks broken.
Johnny Foosball has high quality cocaine.
-
Just got to end of 1st quarter on DVR. Watching Meatchi kens secondary adjust presnap I'll GUARANGODDAMNTEE you they are still stealing signals.
-
8 minutes ago, deadshank said:
Are you on the metric system?
No, lol, and just double checheckand it was 7:30 of the first quarter, need to correct original post.
-
4 minutes ago, deadshank said:
Are you on the metric system?
No, lol, and just double checheckand it was 7:30 of the first quarter, need to correct original post.
judge attacked in courtroom, WWE style
in Daily Texan
Posted
Shawn Michaels is impressed.