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Posts posted by Judge Roybeanbag
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16 hours ago, royiv said:
That machine has seen some things.
Yeah the washing machine has too!
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On 6/26/2025 at 12:58 PM, BrickHorn said:
New Surly motto?
Free candy bars!
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3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:
I hear it's going pretty well. They ordered a new shitstick from Pottery Barn. It's artisanal.
You’d make an excellent rectal thermometer salesman.
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Rained almost an inch at my office over by TPWD headquarters. Only .32 at my house in 78748. Better than nothing, although my wife begs to differ.
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28 minutes ago, SurlyGator said:
And one wonders why people own up to mistakes online so rarely....
Because you touch yourself!
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5 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:
Fuck Chet. Snitches get stitches.
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4 hours ago, Gil Bang said:
fucking bagpipes. I'm of scotch decent, I suppose, based on my last name. I come for poor West Texas stock, so who the fuck knows.
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13 hours ago, HRSchenker said:
I don't know who started the whole saying bless you after a cough trend but it needs to stop. You only do that for sneezes.
I say “Vade domum, aegrotas.” Sounds cool but means “go home, you’re sick” in Latin.
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17 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:
I just love management-speak. "Restructure, reorganization, impacted" etc.
You fired them you fuckwad.
I like how he puts the “PE MBA” in his signature.
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6 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:
Why do you people wear shoes inside the house.
Legos and hot wheels.
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7 hours ago, bolverk said:
I like how he phrases the flag poles as being "a GIFT from me." (imagining that in Smeagol's voice)
At least we'll have something to remember him by.
I’m hoping they hit a large gas line while they’re digging the holes.
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2 hours ago, Brian Fantana said:
a butt mint
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34 minutes ago, royiv said:
There’s a taco truck in my neighborhood with a sign advertising “choise” of meat.
They should rename the truck Choise Lounge.
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5 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:
My bad it got shot down over Blefuscu.
Is that in Lilliput? Was the pilot named Gulliverstein?
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21 minutes ago, ClubWhatever said:
Not saying this had anything to do with it but it demonstrates that total loss of electrical power has been a thing in the past.
So they should have tried shutting down and restarting like my IT guy says?
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3 hours ago, Fudbelty said:
Not going to lie, at first glance I thought you were having fried eggs and Oreos for breakfast. NTTAWWT
Burnt Pumpernickel English muffins
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Having a stray whisker stick inside the collar of your T-shirt so that it’s poking your neck, but you can’t find it and get it out without pulling off your shirt.
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1 hour ago, Willfully Horn said:
During my time at UT I went downtown to ridicule a Nazi rally. Maybe four dozen people showed up to moon the Klan. So, this will be my second public protest.
Good ol’ Steven Fromholz!
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1 minute ago, tomahawk dunk said:
it’s a huge shit sandwich and we’re all going to have to take a bite.
Tastes like Ronald Reagan’s chicken.
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Just now, Anastasis said:
It's simple. God became man so that man could become god.
Fuck that noise, Ann Margaret never showed up.
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Just now, Judge Roybeanbag said:
I’m stocked with the word of the lord, Our Lord Jesus Christ. Let me tell you his teachings and spread the word.
I also have this very nice vacuum cleaner. Made right here in the USA. And some bitcoin, and a few meme coins and if you are hungry, this deconstructed hamburger!
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I’m stocked with the word of the lord, Our Lord Jesus Christ. Let me tell you his teachings and spread the word.
Mass Shootings
in Cloak Room
Posted
Well if Chuck Norris ruled it out, then that’s that.